On Sunday night, my oldest came downstairs to talk to her dad and I. Both of us knew something was up just by the way she walked into the room. She sat down on a chair and told us that she’d been thinking it over, and has decided that she’d like to return to her “home” high school for her junior and senior years, rather than continue to attend her school of the arts. On one hand, I should be thrilled. I hate that drive every single day and anything to keep me off the freeways of Southern California should be applauded. On the other hand, I am very sad. I have tried extremely hard to remind myself that this is her life, not mine, and her dreams are just that – hers. There are a lot of parts to this story, a lot of subtle things that I really can’t get into here on the blog, so I will just say this: she is growing up and I think that she is changing her mind about a lot of things. It is extremely difficult to sit back as a parent and be supportive of choices that you’re unsure about, but I trust my daughter implicitly. She has a good head on her shoulders, and if she really feels that her current school is no longer the right place for her, I have to remember that she is the one who has to be happy with what she is doing, no matter how “great” the school looks on paper.
I know that for most of you, this is probably something small. Who cares, right? If you knew my daughter (and a few of you have known her since she was seven!), you would understand just how big of a deal this is. While most young kids in our neighborhood played outside with friends, had slumber parties and did fun things during elementary school, my daughter was at dance class – a decision she made all on her own. She was a competitive dancer from the time she was five years old, dancing a minimum of 10 hours a week, up to her maximum of about 20 hours a week when she was twelve – doing everything from ballet to hip hop. At that time, she was injured while training and had a hairline fracture on her L5 that sidelined her for about six months while she was in intensive PT to help heal the injury and combat the curvature of her spine that was taking place as a result of the fracture. This is all going back a bit – but she has had lingering back issues ever since, and she had to quit dancing competitively, it is just too hard on her back, and to think that at one point they thought she’d be in a brace for ten months with possible surgery, I think overall she’s done very well. She never once complained, choosing instead to start doing musical theater. She worked her butt off to be accepted to the school, even more so to change from Commercial Dance to Music & Theater, and now she’s ready to leave it all behind. Truthfully, the news didn’t surprise me. She has had a difficult time this past year – the very nature of the school is such that kids travel from all over Southern California to be there, and so your friends might live an hour or more away from you.There’s not much getting together on the weekends, and “after school” is nearly non-existant, so it’s a tough life with little chance to make long lasting friendships, in her case. Lately she has been spending more time with her friends here at what would have been her regular high school, and I have always told her that if she wanted to return back to her regular school, the choice was hers. I didn’t want her to have regrets, or to blame her dad and I for missing out on the high school experience (her school doesn’t have football, cheerleaders, spirit days…that’s just not what it’s about). Of course, I never really thought she’d take me up on the offer. Funny how that happens. Naturally, this isn’t the end of the world, and she can still act, sing, dance and do all of the same things she is doing now – just in a different place with a set of friends that is truly supportive. I just have that normal parental worry, and now, rather than having one child to register into school next year, I have three. (One in kindergarten, one in a homeschool program for high school, and one in regular high school.)
So, I’m stressed. When I’m stressed, I have a tough time writing (and making SENSE). My inspiration seems to be completely drained, and I’ve only been writing for a short time. It makes me wonder how the band does it. What could possible inspire them after 30 years??? In the past, I’ve never really thought much about how the band writes an entire album. I think the blank space, the “empty air”, would drive me crazy. The thoughts of knowing that you’ve got to come up with a good 15 songs, out of thin air, would be a constant source of anxiety. There are some mornings when I come downstairs, sit down, and there’s absolutely nothing. I wonder if that happens to the band? I can’t really live my “real world” behind – I have no studio to step into or a door to close, but even if I did – I wonder how they get themselves going each day. Does Simon have as much difficulty writing lyrics when he’s stressed as I do writing this blog?
Many times, readers have asked Amanda and I how we do this each day (write the blog). They think we’re nuts for ever calling it Daily Duranie. They want to know if we worry about ever running out of things to say. The thing is, Amanda and I are just like anyone else. We both have lives outside of what happens with Duran Duran, or what goes on here online. Part of the point behind the blog is just to talk about what it is like to be a fan, and for me that includes the rest of my life and family. That alone gives me a lot to say, although the challenge, especially at times like this – is finding how it possibly relates back to the band. One thing that I can say (and if I could just remind myself of this every morning) is that it’s only when I stop to think about having to write every single day that I start really worrying about what to say, and about whether or not I’ll run out of things to say. It is sort of like this: I sit down each day and just think about that one blog, that one day. If I start considering about the entirety, it’s only then that I feel daunted by the challenge…and never fear, we’re probably not going to run out of things to say just yet, even if writers block occasionally hits me in the face!