I think everyone recognizes what it feels like to be isolated. It’s not all that much fun. A concert or tour could be announced and if you’re not able to go, it’s easy to feel like the odd-man out. It’s difficult to go on Facebook or Twitter and not see the tour being talked about or plans being made. Those who are in any other part of the world aside from the US or even the UK have probably had it with the those of us who are lucky enough to have a tour to talk about. I can’t blame them. It’s isolating at times. Then there are the moments before and definitely after a show – it’s those moments where you’ve made plans to get together with people and then suddenly realize that plans are being made without you, or…as a few of my friends have experienced (as well as I) in their lives as Duranies, friends suddenly vanish after a show and don’t answer calls or return texts, then when you finally hear about where they were; they are either as cloudy about the details as tule fog in the central valleys of California or even better – the proceed to brag about meeting up with the band, “completely by chance! Oh my gosh, we met them and ________________ was so nice….look, I even have my picture with them! What did YOU guys do?” I love that one. I’m to the point now where I will go to the trouble of replying “Well gee, you’d have known what we were up to if you’d bothered to check your phone or answer a text!” Perhaps I’m giving certain fans within our community too much credit when I say that I am pretty sure they know exactly how rude this is to people they call friends, but yes, I do think they know exactly what they’re doing. Daily Duranie gets the occasional email or comment, and I feel horrible when I read incidents like the above. I know that feeling and I know it well, my friends.
I’ve never been a part of that “special” group. You know the one – the group that always looks like they have fun, that they’ve walked off the cover of a magazine, the one that can consistently break the rules and still end up getting exactly what they want in the end. Nothing goes bad for these people even when they’re met with what I would think to be bad situations…and they always know where the party is going to be. Perhaps it’s because they themselves are the party. I have no idea. I just know I’ve never been in that group. Not in middle school, not in high school…college is a bit of a blur….and definitely not now. What’s funny is that I have friends, although maybe they’re really just acquaintances, in that cool group. I always have, but for a variety of reasons, I am not even remotely close to being cool enough to be included. From my point of view, it’s probably OK to go to a show with me, or make plans to share a room with me if there’s no one else to share costs with, but it’s not OK to include me on the plans for the cool kids – whether those are for before or after a show. What’s amusing to me, as a completely uncool person, is that while these cool people seem oblivious to what they’re doing – it’s completely crystal clear to those of us who aren’t being included. We get it. While I might not be of the quality necessary to be invited to after show plans, I can see what’s going on around me without too much of a problem and I definitely get the point.
I’m sure that most of the rest of you are nodding your heads about now. Let’s face it, the real minority around here aren’t the uncool people. It’s not those of us who are left in the dust after a show, only to spin around and say “Hey, where did everybody go?”…the real minority are the chosen few, the “cool” people. The people who are in the know, who have the information, who somehow always seem to find themselves where the real party is after a show. (whether the band is there or not – I want to make that clear, because while I know finding the band after a show is a fun hobby to have, that’s not the point of this blog.) So I ask, why is it that we feel so isolated when it’s obvious that there’s more uncool people like me than there are the chosen few?!? Don’t you all feel lucky to be included with me!? (that’s my sarcasm at work there!)
Sure, I could probably get angry. I could probably decide that I’m done dealing with this particular fandom and walk away, or I could just decide to have fun anyway. I know I’m never going to be the kind of fan that a band member or one of their people walks up to and says “Hey, we’re going to _______________ after the show, hope you can make it.” (I’m always a little surprised by the chosen few that ARE given that kind of information, to be honest – but I’m not going to get into that here.) That said, I *am* the type of fan and friend that wants to have fun with friends before AND after the show. I want to be able to laugh and talk and socialize just like anyone else, and if you’re like that too, then we need to meet! No need to feel isolated any longer, my friends.
With that in mind, I need to give out some updated information for our get together prior to the Chicago show on October 21st. Due to circumstances beyond our control (i.e. our original choice of venue for our meet up wants to charge me a ridiculous bottle service charge in order to make reservations or else we have to wait outside in line and hope for a table), we have to move our meetup to the following:
Hoyt’s Tavern – Hotel71. 71 E. Wacker Drive Chicago
Our reservations are set for 5pm and the hotel/restaurant is less than a mile from the venue. I’m sorry for the change, but there was no way to accommodate everyone otherwise. We still hope to see you there!!