Category Archives: friendship

Patience is a Virtue and other lessons of the day….

Last night, I was watching V with my family, and since it started to completely gross me out and disgust me (stay with me….), I grabbed my laptop and figured I could get some work done.  Ha.  I should have known better, really.  I hopped onto twitter only to find Mr. John Taylor spouting some sort of nonsense about sticking around for the “Official” Coachella announcement (because that clearly wasn’t obvious enough for me to understand that while John had also told us all – liar liar pants on fire – it was very “unlikely” for them to play Coachella, they really WERE playing!)  I’ve got your number now, mister….  It really was *unlikely* for them to ever play Coachella, but it was also really *unlikely* that they’d ever reunite with Andy again…and they did.  *sigh*   I really need to learn how to translate Duranspeak better than I currently do.  🙂  It wasn’t long after I tweeted back that yeah, he also had to stick around so that I and 3000 other buddies of his could give him a rough time playing Coachella after telling us that it was unlikely that he said Night Tweeties.  (oh John, you’re a funny one, aren’t ya?)  I won’t go into the number of times I refreshed dd.com until it was FINALLY announced that yes, Duran Duran is playing Coachella on April 17th…nor will I go into the myriad of reasons why I am not going.  No really, I’m not going.  Festivals and I are not friends.  Regardless, I do think it’s a fantastic opportunity for them, and while I do have some serious reservations – I will keep those to myself until after the rest of the tour is announced.  John says those dates are coming next week….we will see.

While bantering to John, I my mind wandered to a written “conversation” I’d had earlier in the day with Amanda.  I’m currently working on a chapter for the book about Facebook and Twitter, and I’m brainstorming the topics that I would like to cover.  I have quite a list going, but one thing we wrote back and forth about was that because of the fact there are so many of us who have been fans since our early teens or even earlier, many of us feel as though we know them.  I would argue that yes, we do know them – we know exactly what they wish for us to know about them.  The trouble is, and I think this is a common side-effect for any long term fan, we tend to feel as though there’s a relationship between the band and ourselves, and of course – as we know once we stop long enough to think about it – it’s truly just one sided.  As I’ve mentioned before, the band doesn’t have the foggiest idea who I am.  (probably a good thing)  I will say that I’ve been to a few shows in my day, and I’ve had the opportunity to be near the front enough to gain their attention. (I’ve been taught how to clap properly to Red Carpet Massacre by John, I’ve also sang with him a time or two…I’ve had Roger attempt to throw a stick to me, and I’ve laughed right along with Dom).  That said, they don’t really know me.  I can’t imagine any of them would recognize me, and I know they don’t know my name.  I might think that I know them, but the truth is – if they saw me on the street they’d walk right past me – and rightfully so.  What really adds to the confusion of where the line between fan and friend really lies is the premise of social networking.  Sites such as Facebook and Twitter initially began as ways to maintain friendship.  You add “friends” to your facebook account, and you follow people on twitter.  At one point, celebrities didn’t really utilize either facebook OR twitter – it was about friends.  So now, we’ve got Duran Duran on facebook; John and Roger are on facebook, as is Dom….and we’ve got Dom, John & Simon on Twitter.  Even I have a hard time remembering that these guys don’t KNOW me.  I’m bantering AT them as though I’m giving a friend a hard time. (as opposed to WITH them, because, let me be honest here – they’ve never retweeted something I’ve said or even acknowledged me at all)  I would never openly tell the guys they should stop coming to facebook or twitter, absolutely not – but I do need to remind myself from time to time that I’m just a fan.  I’m one of…well…a LOT of people out there.  I suppose this topic does tie in a bit with the validation topic from yesterday, but it’s an interesting facet of what social networking sites have done to change or evolve the definitions of celebrity and fan.

Which brings me to patience, of which I have very, very little.  Not sure if any of you caught that yet. Twitter is great in that we get almost instant gratification since it takes place in “real time” – but that 140 character limit thing can be a problem.  Then there’s facebook, which is much more an “at your leisure” sort of thing.  Messages can sit in my inbox for as long as I wish, I can reply at length, and the pace is less frantic.  In the past week, Amanda and I have expanded our horizons to include a new facebook page for Daily Duranie, and quite honestly I’m amazed at the differences in the fans so far.  There are people we’ve befriended that are active both on facebook and twitter, and then there are people who seem to stay mainly on twitter and mainly on facebook. What’s really fascinating to the two of us, being the social science observers we are – is that the types of fans we find in either place truly differ quite a bit!  It is a bit early for to draw conclusions on what I’ve seen so far, but it’s fascinating that the mechanics behind each of the social networking sites attract different types of fans altogether. I suppose it makes sense, but very interesting, nonetheless.  Are you a patient fan, or more like me where you want it all yesterday?  🙂

-R

Once upon a time, there was a suburban OC mom who happened to stumble upon a Duran Duran message board.  It was a very small message board at the time, which allowed for her to get to know several of the “regulars” on the board.  One of those regulars was interested in starting plans to have a convention, and the mom jumped on the bandwagon.  She got to know the committee, and within a year, found herself standing in the ballroom at Hotel Monaco in New Orleans, welcoming fellow Duranies for a weekend of fun and friendship.  Her roommates for that fateful weekend included the first friend she’d made on the message board, along with two other close “online” friends.   The weekend proved to be a great success, and out of that weekend, this mom met many others, including someone from the midwest (and the co-writer of this blog!), as well as a gal from New Jersey.

The interesting part of this story is that under any other circumstance, the mom isn’t at all sure that the three of these women would have connected.  At the time, the mom was the only married woman in the group, and is still the only one with children. (well, children that she doesn’t leave at the end of a work day….mine follow me!)  She lives in California, two within the group live in the midwest, and one is from the east coast.  The mom doesn’t work for a living, the other three work very hard – one is a special education teacher, one works in human resources, and the other is a nurse. The one connection that binds them is/was their love for Duran Duran.

As time has worn on, two out of the group have expanded their horizons.  While Duran Duran is probably still a favorite to some degree,  there are other bands that have piqued their interest, and they’ve been known to travel to see them.  The other two, on the other hand –    write a daily blog about the band, are in the process of writing a book, and have ideas for others.  Their friendship has really transcended their interest for the band, so to speak.    Of course, if a tour comes up, we try to travel together.  It doesn’t always work out, schedule-wise, but we try.  While the four of us together are friends, we’ve also sort of “paired” off.  Two go off and see INXS, the other two have actually gone on tour to see Clear Static.  The beauty of it all is that what started as a friendship due to a common interest has become a friendship based on far deeper trust.

As you might have guessed, the suburban mom in the story is me, and the other three women are my closest friends.  We started making plans to meet up whenever there was a tour, but as usually happens – Durantime takes far too long – and we’ve ended up meeting for long weekends instead!  Tomorrow, the girls descend on Orange County CA, and they’ll be staying at my house this time.  There really won’t be much Duran on the agenda (although I am sure we’ll do our fair share of video watching and laughing), but for a change – it’ll be about our friendship.

Lately there has been much talk on the boards about fairness, and about the duranie-eat-duranie world of the fan community.  I’ve written about it here in our blog as well.  I’ve had it brought up to me that not all of us are going to be friends, and still more of us won’t like one another.  That’s obviously true.  We can’t all get along – although I *do* think a lot more of us can and should try to remember that our connections to one another will far outlast the band.  My own friendships with the girls I’ve met through the community will prove that.  I’m going to remember the times I’ve had traveling with Amanda, or the way that Jessica and I “handled” check in at the fan convention…or the way I’ve full-out laughed until I’ve cried when I sit and listen to the stories Machelle has told me over the years, FAR longer than I’ll remember that I was snubbed by so-and-so at the last show or meet up.  Hopefully while reading the blog, some of you will remember the fun you’ve had rather than the way you thought you were wronged by another fan….because really, isn’t that the point?

-R

And So It Begins….(again!)

Have you heard the news?  Duran Duran recorded an interview yesterday (that would be Tuesday) for the Today Show here in the US.  The show date is November 13th, which is a Saturday.   I was ecstatic to see that they’re finally doing interviews – assumably for the new album, which is great news!!!

Where I live, the show airs beginning at 5am on Saturday.  It just so happens that I will have not only my closest friends here that weekend, but also my blogging-partner-in-crime, so we’ll be doing a joint blog that day on our reactions from the show I am sure.  I can’t wait to see the band again, and what makes this airing even more special is that my closest friends, all of whom I’ve met as a result of being involved in this godforsaken community.   I almost never have the opportunity to experience real “Duranie” moments with my friends, unless it’s at a show – because two of my friends live in the midwest, and the other lives in New Jersey.  They’ll all be here with me that weekend because as the resident old lady of the group – I turn 40  this Sunday.  They are coming out next week to help soften the blow.   I really can’t seem to decide if I’m more excited about seeing a Duran Duran interview, or if I’m genuinely more excited that I’ll get to make comments, point and laugh, and probably squeal in delight at the interview right along with my three friends here in my own living room.  

That’s the beauty of our community.  We all came together for the love of a band, yet our friendships surely transcend the “life” of the band at this point.  No, we’re not all going to be best friends, but I feel so incredibly lucky to have stumbled upon the whole lot of you, and even more so that I’ve found some of the most wonderful friends within this crazy community of ours.  Sure, there’s an amazing amount of competitive, cheap and petty behavior that goes on at times, and yes – I’ve met more than my fair share of people that I feel need a “crazy” certificate; but on the other hand, to meet all of them has made my life so much more colorful.   To think that just six short years ago I’d found DuranDuranFans.com, and since then I’ve organized a convention, started a daily blog, found a fabulous group of women to lean on during some of the roughest times of my life, not to mention finding a fantastic writing partner…. I’ve had a good run so far, and I’m looking forward to more!

Hold on tight, because this show is about to get on the road!

-R