I’ve learned that my writing style is raw – I’m not the type to write first or second drafts. What you see here is exactly what came out of my brain, through my fingers and onto the screen the first time. I write in a very “train of thought” type of way, and I always have. My college professors would all typically write the same thing on my papers, “This could have easily been an A if you’d had done a first draft.” True, true….but then I wouldn’t have had time to go to that party last night. Sadly these days I would need to respond saying “True, true, but then I wouldn’t have had time to do laundry, clean the house, take my kids to school, etc. etc. etc.” I like writing this way for the most part, because I think there’s something very cleansing about my methods, but I’m also very much aware that sometimes what I hear myself saying in my head as I type isn’t exactly how it comes out in print without my voice to accompany it all. That’s a problem I’m trying to work on. Sometimes it works well, and other times, I get hate mail. (or at least “I’m very disappointed with you, Rhonda” email!)
I’ve also learned that for every opinion that I have on any subject, there are 50,000 other dissenting ones – and for each of those opinions, they have 100,000 examples to prove why I’m wrong. I love those because, truth be told here – I’m no Duran Duran expert. I’m just a fan, I don’t know it all, hell – I don’t think I know MOST of it. I just like to write and I hope you all like to read. If I get one of you saying that you agree or felt something for what I wrote – I’m in good shape. For the rest of you that insist on continuing to teach me a little something, I swear I’m learning as fast as I can.
I’ve found that I do have feelings, even after all of these years, and when someone comes to the blog purely to put Amanda and I down….it actually does still sting a bit. I thoroughly enjoy those moments when they have the balls to tell us how incredibly ludicrous we are and how we must not even be fans due to something we said or how we said it, but then won’t even sign their own name to the comment. That’s amusing, mostly because here we are, putting ourselves out there for scrutiny (which comes very often), and yet we’ve got some yahoo announcing how lame we are – and yes – we DO publish every comment whether we like ’em or not – but they wouldn’t dare sign their own name. I guess those are the breaks when you’re writing a blog. Not everyone is going to like you or agree with you, and while I don’t like it, I’m learning. I’m also learning that it’s not always welcomed to argue my point with said commenters. I’ve driven more than one person away from the blog by doing so. Apparently being “touchy” about comments is not allowed. *sigh* I’m learning! I do feel badly if I’ve driven someone away from reading though, because obviously, that’s not what we want. I think though, that it’s sometimes very difficult to find the boundary between someone not appreciating something I’ve written versus feeling as though that person doesn’t like me. It’s something I’ve had to really learn how to deal with this past year, and while I am by no means good at it yet – I’m getting better.
The bottom line here for me today is that this blog was created out of my thoughts, and of course Amanda’s thoughts – for whatever day it is that we’re writing. It’s all about what being a fan is like on any given day, and how all of that mixes with our everyday lives. Sometimes, we get it all right, and other days – we get it completely wrong for everyone except ourselves. Sometimes, we have the right sentiment and the wrong words, and still other days we even have the wrong sentiment! Our goal here is to share what we’re thinking – but in doing that we never wish to harm anyone with our thoughts or words. It’s sometimes a very difficult and thin boundary.