I am anxious for tour dates. I’ll freely admit that. I’m to the point where if I were the neighbor of one of the band members, I’d probably go over to borrow milk or something just to see if they were packing for a trip yet!
I really thought they’d announce dates while I was gone this weekend. My phone was even dead for part of the weekend (I let the battery run out – not on purpose, but it happens!), but still nothing. This is ridiculous! (and I mean on MY part, not theirs)
Why am I really so anxious? It’s not as though I’ve never seen the band live before. It’s not as though I have nothing but time on my hands with which to plan. The fact is, I’m fairly busy. I’m supposed to be doing about 50 other things right at this moment, and the time I take to blog every day I am pretty much stealing from some other chore. (one of the more frustrating things I find in being a parent and wife) I know that the amount of time that I can spend going to shows or traveling is fairly limited, and therefore I also know that once the dates are announced, there is a fairly good chance that I will end up being disappointed as to how much or little I can truly do. So, why am I really anxious?!?
I think that for me, the tour signifies a chance to spread my wings a bit. It’s the one time that I plan a trip just for me. My husband typically stays at home (whether it’s under protest or otherwise), my children are usually not invited (definitely under protest…), and I spend weeks pondering how I’m going to get all of my usual “mom” duties covered, along with the excitement of finding the best airfare times/price, hotel, and making the general plans. It’s a time for some much appreciated independence on my part, and it reminds me of what it’s like to just be Rhonda, not “mom”, not “dear”….and certainly not “maid”, “cook”, or “chauffeur”.
The trip itself takes place in the blink of an eye. It amazes me how I can spend weeks planning for each second of the trip (and truly, my plans have very little to do with ME as they do with what I’m doing with my children for while I’m gone…), and yet the trip itself is over before I know it. If that weren’t enough, to add insult to injury, as the trip gets closer, I find myself actually feeling guilty, and at times I’m feeling guilty enough where I’ve considered canceling my trip. I feel guilty that I’m leaving my kids in order to have fun. I feel guilty that I’ve spent money that I could be using for my kids to do things, I feel guilty that I’m asking my husband to not only change his own schedule to suit my trip, but that I’m insisting that he work all day only to come home and assume my normal duties. It’s a lot of work, I should know! Once I leave though, I have to admit that I enjoy knowing that for the three or four days I’m gone, I only have to worry about getting myself dressed, fed, etc. There’s something very odd, yet peaceful about walking through the security line at the airport and realizing that I only have a purse to pick up at the end of the line; not a purse, a child, 5 pairs of shoes, four pillows, a blanket, a diaper bag and god-only-knows-what-else. I’ve actually stopped on the way to my gate and thought, “I’ve forgotten something!”, only to realize that what I’ve “forgotten” is at home and probably playing happily with my mom! Cognitively, I know that by going on these trips for me, I’m not being a bad parent. I’m allowing myself a little bit of down time and fun, and in the end, that’s only going to make me a better mom and wife, but it’s still difficult to put into real practice.
This next tour, I have a little more ambition than usual. I really would like to try and plan a trip to the UK to see the band. That’s going to take more than a little luck on my part, both in scheduling it amongst everything else that goes on around here AND convincing my husband that this is a reasonable household expense. (wish me luck!) I know that with each passing day, if the dates of shows in the UK are only a few weeks out – such as the rumors persist – it will be less and less likely that I can get a trip together to attend. So yes, I’m anxious, and still we wait….
Hey John, can I borrow some milk – and while you’re getting that – can we talk tour dates here?