Do Crowds Just Make You Feel Lonely?

I have had a long day.  On top of all day of canvassing, I am clearly fighting some sort of bug as I have a sore throat and had a fever most of the afternoon.  I realize that this is because I’m run down and that I need to sleep for about a decade.  I had ideas about what to write about, but I have decided against all of them.  Some of the ones I decided against just weren’t all that interesting.  Others, I feared controversy and since I have no time or energy to react, I opted not to.  Yes, I’m chicken.  I can go talk to voters and volunteers for hours at a time but have to face angry or annoyed Duranies, no thank you.  Ha!

When I look back on the reading/signing event on Tuesday, one part that I don’t think I mentioned much in my long blog was meeting and talking with other Duranies.  I did admit that I was a bit overwhelmed by the crowd, initially.  I’m not sure why that is, but I have always been like that.  Crowds and people can be too much for me.  It isn’t that I don’t want to be social.  I’m just not that good at going up and introducing myself.  I won’t lie.  I’m much better after I have had a glass of wine or a vodka tonic.  How sad is that?  Of course, I would have been better with Rhonda there.  Yet, I didn’t have either of those cushions/crutches there.  Again, this is particularly amusing since I lead a team of volunteers and since I teach groups of children.  For some reason, I’m able to overcome my awkwardness in those settings.  I think it is because I have a job to do, a focus.  Duranie events are about being social.  Old childhood fears return as I wonder if people will like me!  LOL.  Then, of course, since doing the blog, I’m never sure how people are going to take me.  That said, when I was able to let my guard down and be social, I had a really good time, which was really the point of this blog. 

There is something to be said for being around Duranies.  We understand each other without having to say much.  After all, we share a common interest and this interest is such that it isn’t a little interest but a big one, one we, generally, feel intensely about.  For example, everyone I was in line with the signing was excited and slightly nervous.  We all talked about what we might say, how we looked, etc.  Dinner discussion was filled with stories of past Duran experiences, like past concerts or past meet and greets.  We didn’t really talk much about our lives beyond Duranland but we didn’t go to an event like that to have real life interfere.  It is quite the opposite, in fact. 

So, as I was sitting here together struggling to organize 184 turfs of voters and 40 plus volunteers at any given time, I thought back to Tuesday and how much fun I had.  Of course, it was fabulous because of John Taylor.  That goes without saying, but it was definitely the other fans that made it better than fabulous.  I, then, thought about how I won’t go three years for an album and/to tour to be with Duranies again.  I won’t.  That’s just silly and would make me unhappy.  While Rhonda and I discussed plans for some events, there is nothing that is stopping me from trying to get together with Duranies nearby, right?  Maybe, that is the just the thing that I’ll need to have to look forward to once I have my life back.  Heck, maybe, I’ll pressure Rhonda to come visit then, too!  😀  Thus, Midwest area Duranies, I want you to start thinking about when might be a good time! 

-A

2 thoughts on “Do Crowds Just Make You Feel Lonely?”

  1. Admittedly, I don't make the effort to get together with Duranies here in California. The truth is, my Duranie friends don't live here (for the most part), and I just don't have a very good sense of the Duran community here – I never have.

    My time at home is spent being an extremely active and involved parent. I'm not a “helicopter” parent by ANY means, but having three kids keeps me on the go a lot. It is rare when I even have one weekend night free without having something going on, and the weeknights? HA. I am on 100% active duty because my husband never sets foot in this house until at least 7:30pm. That means driving everyone home from school or picking people up from various rehearsals or sports practices is my job along with dinner, homework, etc. There's just no time for much else. Just ask my sorority sisters, who have been trying to get together with me since August. 🙂

    I usually travel to see the shows I go to, and while I know there are great fans here, they are not people I've ever really gotten very close with, and that is as much my fault as it is circumstance. I can't apologize for that – we jive with whomever we tend to jive with, and I found my closest friends across the country from me. That said, the time in between albums is typically quiet for me unless I attend events elsewhere, and I don't really expect that to be any different this time. I love Duranies, and I love having friends, but I find that for me – unless I physically leave the state, my social life as a fan is on the back burner or something I can only indulge in when no one is around (during the day) or when I sneak online…like right now!

    As for that convention idea, I'm all for it….once Amanda is ready to contend with something other than turfs and volunteers…. 😉 -R

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