Do Male Fans Get Negative Reactions?

This week in Duranland saw more ticket purchases, more presales, more excitement about upcoming shows.  It seems to me that the only shows we are waiting for news are New York City and the re-scheduled European dates.  Those people who are lucky enough to have tickets for upcoming shows, I’m sure, are making show plans, which can include transportation and hotel as well as family and work responsibilities.  I’m no different on that front as I am not sure what I will be doing with work that day of my show, but I will have to make a decision in that regard at some point.  I’m sure others have already figured out if they plan on working or are going to try and take the day(s) off.  I always wonder how those conversations at work go once the decision is made to take time off.  Are people’s bosses accepting?  Do people tell their supervisors why they need time off?  What kind of reaction to they get from them?  What about the reactions from colleagues?  Then again, what about reactions from other family members? Do they get your fandom?  Of course, this leads me to think about reactions or questions I have had about going to Duran shows.  One question that seems to come up is, “Are there male Duranies?”  I explain that there are.  Duh.  The follow-up question tends to be, “Are they straight?”  Obviously, here, the assumption is that only gay or bisexual men would listen to Duran.  I’m sure that I could write a whole blog about why that assumption is made, but I’m more curious if these questions are asked of me, what questions are asked of male Duranies?  Do they get the same kind of negative reactions that female fans often get or is it different?

I think that most Duranies have experienced some sort of negative reaction about the fact that they are fans of Duran Duran.  I know I have.  Some of the negativity is directed at the band.  “Why would you like them?  They aren’t any good.  They don’t care about the music.  They just care about what they look like?”  Some of it has more to do with my desire to tour.  “What a waste of money!  Aren’t all the shows the same?  Why do you feel it necessary to go to all those shows?  Aren’t you going overboard?  Isn’t that a bit obsessive?”  I could go on and on.  Sometimes, people go a different route with the disdain of my being a Duranie and outright ask, “Are you a groupie?”  They aren’t meaning someone who just follows the band, people.  The assumption that a female who goes to a bunch of shows is going for one thing and one thing only, the ultimate autograph.  I’m willing to bet that most male Duran fans aren’t questioned about being groupies, but maybe there are other questions that they have to deal with.

How are male Duranies treated?  Do they have to deal with the general anti-Duran statements?  Do they have to put up with negative statements about going to shows or buying albums?  What specific negatives do they hear that female fans don’t have to put up with?  Of course, some of you might be saying that guys don’t have to deal with much of this because they don’t show their fandom as much and don’t do as much touring.  First of all, I don’t know that if that is true or not.  I’m willing to bet that there are a lot of male Duranies who show that they are fans and many also go to a bunch of shows.  However, if guys don’t show that they are fans as much or don’t go to as many shows, I would ask why.  Do they feel like they have to hide the fact that they are Duranies?  If so, what do they think will happen?  If they don’t go to as many shows as they want, why not?  What’s stopping then?  Then, I wonder how they are treated by the female fans?  Do they get negative reactions from female fans?  Are they dismissed as unimportant?  Ignored? 

I’m hoping that some male Duranies will chime in here and answer some of these questions for me.  I would like some education about what it is like to be a male Duranie and to see if they experience some of the stigma I know I have dealt with!

-A

6 thoughts on “Do Male Fans Get Negative Reactions?”

  1. 21 year old male (straight) duranie here. Get stick from mates and people at work whenever I mention them, but I don't care. Have always raved and boasted about DD since I discovered them at 15 years of age. Only seem the live once when I was 17 (on their red carpet massacre tour) and I went on my own, met so many awesome male and female duranies which was great, really didn't feel like I was on my own as I was having such a great time! But yea, whenever they are mentioned by me in normal day-to-day life I get some joke comments, but that's all I see them as, joke comments! I'll like who I want, DD mean so much to me, and helped me on a personal level that I will forever be a fan.

    A older female friend at work is also a duranie and we have got tickets to see them live at Nottingham this December, can't wait!

  2. Carl-So glad that you had a great first Duran show and that you have found other Duranies! I do think that helps when people don't understand! Thanks for reading and commenting!

    -A

  3. 39 year old straight male Durannie here…aka Chris from other posts…have been a fan since '82. I've caught some flack here and there but it's more of an association thing–I'm the only person (male or female) in my various circles of friends who is so obsessed with Duran Duran (going from grade school to high school to college to work). When I turned 30 in 2002, my co-workers got me a Duran Duran poster and key chain among other gifts…I got a call Christmas Eve 1992 from one of my college buddies in Boston who had just heard some new Duran song called “Ordinary World or something.” Stuff like that…I find that I'm constantly defending the band–explaining that they never broke up, so they're not “coming back,” etc…in fact, the first time I met my wife (we were fixed up), I said “I like Duran Duran. I'm not gay.” That became a running joke and she actually has attended several shows with me (caught her singing “Leave a Light on” the other day so, though she's not a fan, I'm making progress!!). I think the hardest part about being a male fan was the DD Fan Community message boards. I was a member for many years and would post questions or comments about the music…that site is such a clique…most of the time I was ignored…realy bugged me…all sorts of posts on things that I had no clue about (what or who the f*** is “chico”??? To this day I have no clue. Or the atrocious soft-porn fan fiction that I stumbled onto about the band members–Good God–I think that was the day I decided to stop posting and unsubscribe). So THANK YOU for the Daily Durannie which actually talks about THE MUSIC! Bottom line…being a straight, male Duran Duran fan is just fine…it's cool knowing how many people will hear a DD song and think of me! I just wish they (along with the rest of the world) took the band more seriously…oh well…–Chris

  4. Oh, Chris, THANK YOU for reading and commenting! Interesting that you didn't feel at home at whatever message board you were on because they weren't talking about the music and were focused on fanfic! I have found that message boards definitely create their own culture. Anyway, happy to have you here!

    -A

  5. Late to the discussion . . . but I am a straight (unequivocally so, despite what you will read below) male Duranie, born 1970. I was 14 at the height of their popularity and was a serious fan of both their music and their image. My best male friend of many years (VERY straight as well) was also a Duranie of similar ilk. We bonded because we both admitted one day that we liked the band despite it being risky to admit this. He and I used to call each other on the phone, look at the lyric book and sing songs to each other. (Yes, I realize this is disturbingly pathetic, but it happened, okay? It happened. . . .) I taped pictures of the Fab Five on my wall, not out of desire toward them, but because I thought that if I could look like them, girls would desire me! Uh . . . I guess not looking like them was a detriment to my goal.

    Anyway, I had a Duranie penpal during that time. Maybe she thought I was gay, and I definitely was self-conscious about other boys my age ridiculing my masculinity. However, I embraced the band’s style. My sister was also a Duranie, so that was (and is still) a bit of a reason to bond.

    Musically, I started playing bass because I idolized John Taylor. One of the first basslines I learned was “Save A Prayer.” And I still find John’s bassline on “Rio” remarkably inventive. I never renounced them, but admittedly my fandom waned when Big Thing came out. When they reunited for Astronaut, though, I re-dedicated myself as a fan.

    I was also a fan of Arcadia and The Power Station in equal measure. I remember trying to emulate John’s “dress” look on Saturday Night Live, wearing a pink shirt like a skirt to a party. Did I spend time in front of my mother’s mirror putting on eyeliner and mascara? Why, yes I did. Did I wield curlers and a curling iron to try to achieve John’s hairstyle? Of course.

    At 44, I have experienced a resurgent desire to emulate Duran Duran’s fashion forward sensibilities. Okay, it is obviously a midlife crisis.. I may be old, but I’m not yet fat or bald, so it’s not futile! Ha ha!

    I don’t think there will ever be the combination of sharp image and good music that Duran Duran possessed in the eighties. I will always hold them in high regard for that rare achievement. If someone were to ridicule me today for loving the band, I would pity them for not understanding.

    1. Happy to have you join the conversation! Thank you so much for sharing your story. I LOVE your pride in being a Duranie! I think we should all be proud to be fans. 🙂 -A

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