Don’t Spill My Secret…

It is touring season in Duranland.  This means, of course, that there are discussions about which shows people are going to, about presale frustration, about setlists, about merchandise, and more.  It also means that somewhere, on some message board, on some social networking site, there is a thread, a question, a discussion topic on meeting the band.  This thread or topic usually begins with a person/poster asking, seemingly innocently, about how people have met the band.  The question is a common one.  Perhaps, the person really wants to know other people’s meet and greet stories.  Maybe, they want to know if VIPing is worth the money.  Yet, it is also possible that the person wants to know how other fans get their information about where the band is staying.  Maybe they want to see who seems to know more than the average fan.  What is always fascinating to me is how people react to the question.

It seems to me that there are common responses to this question.  The first kind of response is to ignore it.  The second kind is to mock, at least in a subtle way.  The third kind is to give an answer but an incomplete one.  I suppose it is possible for the response to be completely frank and open but I doubt that I have ever seen it in Duranland.  Why?  Why the different responses?  Before I dive into my theories about the different responses, let me point out something that may or may not be known.  Fans can and do find the band.  I have seen and heard enough to know that.  It also seems to me that some fans are more likely to do this than others.  Yes, some fans, like me, have met them through legitimate means (in my case-a cd signing) but others seem to find them outside of official meet and greets.  Yet, even that fact does not ever seem to make the discussion threads.  It seems to me that a lot of people hold back this information.  Why?  Why respond in the way that people do?

It seems to me that the most common responses to the “how do people meet the band” threads are either ignoring the thread entirely or to give what seems like partial answers.  For example, you never see someone post, “I know that they always stay at this brand of hotel when they visit such and such a country and they usually show up there about blank time after the show and I recommend you approach this band member in such and such a way…”  Nope.  I don’t see that.  I see people talking about cd signing or finding them outside of the venue right after a show.  Now, those are legitimate ways of meeting them.  Absolutely.  I agree.  Yet, I think that people have met them at hotels or at clubs or somewhere else that I can’t even guess.  So, why don’t people share openly?  My theory has to do with the idea that people don’t want to share.  They might be willing to share with their friends but to share with random posters on a message board or on a social networking site is out of the question.  I suspect that most fans, especially in Durandom, don’t want to share the band with others.  I can understand that.  We all want our time with the guys.  We all want our moments with them and we don’t want others to take that time away from us.  Plus, I think there is always a concern that if too many people show up, that the band will just leave and I wouldn’t even blame them for that.  They deserve their space and their privacy.  Part of my concern is always about whether or not people would be respectful of the band and respectful of their space.  Yet, we never say any of this on those threads. 

Some people don’t respond to the question about where/how to find the band but instead secretly or not-so-secretly mock the person who asked the question.  Why?  I don’t have an answer to that.  Maybe they just like having their secret means of finding out where the band is and would never even consider sharing.  Perhaps, they don’t think that these fans are worthy of having knowledge like this.  Maybe it is a way that they can feel superior.  I don’t know.  I just know that I don’t like that.  I can understand not wanting to share.  I get it.  It might not be a great personality trait but it is one that I think most of us can understand and relate to, to some extent.  But making fun seems just mean-spirited.  Heck, I will admit that I don’t even know if they are intentionally mocking.  It just feels that way to me. 

I wonder if the people who ask the question are aware that no matter the answers there is not full disclosure.  Where the band is seems to be information known by some within the fan community.  It seems to always be treated as a precious secret that should not be shared.  No matter the reason this information is treated in that way, it must create different levels of fans.  Is that a good thing???

-A

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