Emotional

I’m feeling emotional today.  Part of it definitely has to do with being exhausted from work but part of it has to do with today being the last of 4 rehearsal shows for Duran.  It sounds like the show ended a short time ago and from everything I have heard it was another smashing success!  I have seen a lot of tweets in all caps about how amazing it was, including a tweet from JT indicating that they were ready for the US part of the tour.  This, of course, is such good news.  Part of me has been definitely holding my breath, hoping that everything would be okay but trying to prepare myself for things not to go well.  All signs are pointing that everything is back on track, which means that plans can move forward.  Obviously, I love having something to look forward to and there is nothing better than having Duran shows to look forward to!  The success of these shows also indicate that Simon really is better and able to perform again!  Honestly, I didn’t know if that was going to be the case.  I’m thrilled that the shows will go on and that it seems like we can enjoy Duran for a little while longer!  That said, I am not going to lie and say that I am as excited as I could and probably should be but let me explain.

Earlier today, the Daily Duranie received pictures and updates from many of our new friends, from people we had met in the UK in May.  I loved seeing pictures of them all excited and was generally thrilled for them!  Yet, a part of me couldn’t help but to be a bit sad.  Again, maybe this is because of work and things related to that.  I think, though, it has to do with the fact that I wish that I was there.  Yes, I’m sure that there are many, many, many people who feel the exact same thing.  I think I’m feeling it intensely because these rehearsal shows were in the UK, the exact place that Duran had to cancel first.  Those cancellations includes four shows that I held tickets for.  4 shows that I flew across an ocean for.  I would have loved to have celebrated the return of Duran with the people I had met and became friends with as well.

I have attended many Duranie get togethers and parties, including a number of them before shows.  The London party we organized with Kitty from Gimme a Wristband was a first for me.  That night will forever be etched into my brain.  I remember how determined we all were to make the best of the night.  We still tried to have fun and we did, for the most part.  Yet, there was this cloud of sorts in that we had learned that the shows were canceled.  The future was unknown.  This cloud was filled with a bit of grief and a bit of fear.  Honestly, I feel a special bond with those people who I met and partied with that night.  We all experienced something together.  I remember how most of us seemed to have a moment at some point during that night.  For many of us, those moments seem to take place when a Duran song was playing and when we were dancing.  Those moments were the realization that we had lost something.  At the time, we identified that lost as a canceled show to two but now I know more.  Yes, now Duran seems to have returned and, for that, I’m extremely grateful for but we lost was more than shows and it won’t be returned as easily as Simon’s voice.  I don’t think we will ever be so carefree again when it comes to Duran.

We have all learned that we should appreciate Duran now because nobody knows what’s going to happen tomorrow (pun intended).  In this case, we now understand on both an intellectual level AND on an emotional level that Duran will not go on forever.  It could end tomorrow.  Yes, of course, the band may be able to continue without any other problem for a long time.  Obviously, I hope so.  Yes, the longer things go without a problem, the more secure it will all feel.  I doubt, though, that I will ever really be able to forget how I felt that night partying with my friends and fellow Duranies at the Reflex club in London. 

So, I guess I wish that I could have experienced something wonderful with all of them after sharing that tough night with them back in May.  I know that we are planning on meeting up again in December but that isn’t soon enough for me.  I have been really patient, I think, but now, I don’t know that I will be.  I still have 6 weeks until I will see the band in Chicago but a long time before I see my new friends.  While I’m looking forward to the show in Chicago, I don’t think it will be the same as when I see the band in the UK.  Maybe then, when I see them on stage there with my new friends, I will feel like I got back what I thought might be lost.  Maybe then, everything will be right again. 

-A

7 thoughts on “Emotional”

  1. I live in the UK, was disappointed and worried too when they had to cancel the shows earlier this year. I didn't go to any of these rehearsal shows though, but I still have my ticket to see them for the re-scheduled one in December (Nottingham).

    Which UK ones are you coming to?

  2. Aww, bless you. We did miss you & Rhonda tonight, plus those other ladies who couldn't make it for one reason or another. Really looking forward to December now! Hope you enjoy the US shows as much as we enjoyed tonight! Bx

  3. So we've got some flights to figure out, hotels to book and train schedules to decipher….I would swear we've had this conversation before….

    Very excited…and this time I really CAN'T believe we're going!! -R

  4. The Downunder Duranie also wishes the world was smaller. 🙂

    I hope your UK travel plans all run smooth this time. Best of luck.

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