Fairness?

Two things that have never felt synonymous – fairness and the DD fan community (or DDM to be exact).

Recently on the DDM board, there was a contest to go and see Roger at one of his DJ gigs.  For me, the contest was for a gig overseas, and therefore – I knew that there was very little chance I’d be able to scrape together a trip at the last minute, and so I decided not to enter the contest.  The chances of winning are very small, and if I had won (which has never happened), I would have been furious about not being able to go – not to mention the fact that if I’d won, quite literally I would have been taking the opportunity from someone else who was able to attend.  I didn’t pay much attention to the thread about the contest after that, until Jim from GSG Entertainment put up a thread titled “Fairness” on DDM.  Apparently some of the winners of the contest ended up not being able to attend the show, and as a result – Jim felt the need to remind all of us that we should only enter contests if we think we can go.

First of all, this is not a “new” problem.  I know PLENTY of members who enter each and every contest to see if they can win.  Many of them say “I’ll figure it out later if I win”, and when it’s pointed out to them that if they do win and aren’t able to go – they basically have taken the tickets away from other people who can – the response is typically something to the extent of “I pay for membership here, it’s my “right” to enter, and it’s nobody else’s business if I can’t use the tickets.”   Quite honestly, I think this attitude runs pretty rampantly throughout the community.  Our fan community has always been “dog eats dog”, and it’s really kind of tiresome at this point for me.  I love the band, and I love the idea of a fan community, but the game playing that goes on is a huge turn off for me at times.

I responded to Jim’s post – primarily as an assertion that it happens all the time, much in the same way I’ve done here.  The thread is now 5 pages long, so it’s obvious the topic has hit a nerve.  Many post saying that they would never enter a contest knowing they couldn’t go, and many seem to want to debate what is really “fair”.

The subject of people who win multiple contests came up – several believe there should be a limit as to how often one can win a contest.  I would probably agree with this, although I don’t know how much of a problem this really is when it comes to contests for signed CD’s and things like that.  However, I *do* see the same folks winning meet and greets at shows (when you purchase a ridiculously expensive VIP ticket – you enter a drawing for a chance to have a super rushed meet and greet with the band).  Now to be “fair”, I have to say that these days – it could very well be the same people buying VIP tickets over and over again, so of course it’s the same group of people entered into the contest to win.  I only know that during the shows in 2005, there were some “EXTREMELY” lucky people who won multiple times.  If I had that much luck, I’d be buying lottery tickets, that is for sure.   Regardless, even within this discussion, there were more than a few that felt there shouldn’t be a limit on how often someone can win.

Our community is made up of people from all walks of life.  There are married, single, gay, straight, wealthy, poor, struggling….all different people from all different backgrounds, sets of circumstances, and different places all over the world.  Each of us have our own ideals and our own “rules” that we live by.  Where I wouldn’t ever think to worm my way up to the front of a GA show, cutting in front of people who had been standing there all evening – others seem to believe it’s their given right to do so.    Some believe that being fair means playing by the rules, yet others believe you’ve got to take matters into your own hands and make your own luck.  Fairness doesn’t even enter into it.   What is really “fair”, and does it really matter?    Let me know your thoughts!

-R

4 thoughts on “Fairness?”

  1. I think the issue lies with the people who run the community, as well. I've seen complaints about that particular company about other clubs that they run or have run and they're all very similar, especially when it comes to contests. I do think it makes perfect sense to limit the “big ticket” things like Meet & Greets to something like one per tour. Well, it makes sent to me, but not to them! LOLOL Having run a few communities myself now, I can honestly say that DDM is not fair in respects to that.

    However, many Duran fans also have little to no respect for other Duran fans. I didn't know what bitchiness was until I was brought back into the fandom during the reunion. I was in shock at to how nasty some of the fans were being to each other. I've seen some things in my time online, but I have to say the Duran fans took the cake! Fortunately, we're not all like that, and I think we've proven at DDF that we don't have to be like that.

    I just really don't understand why, though. When I was a teenager, being a Duran fan usually meant I got teased and picked on. But other Duran fans would become instant best friends when I met them. Just like that. No questions asked. Now, as we're older, what changed? We grew up, but shouldn't that mean that we… grew up?

  2. The comment by Robin Burks after your post Rhonda, amen to the last paragraph!

    I dunno why 'mature' Duranies are like this, it's bizarre isn't it?

    I saw many different issues presented in the thread you mention Rhonda. I didn't post because my own personal issue is apart from all the other 'sides' presented. What I saw was a group who routinely only ever appear on DDM to pass judgement on someone else. It doesn't matter what the issue, but they appear in droves to ridicule and 'shame' someone (particularly newbies, I have noticed) until they are too afraid to reappear in the forum.

    That is an issue altogether different to what the ongoing argument was about (winning contests), so I steered clear.

    Another related issue that is a personal pet peeve of mine is how many people 'brown nose' when they see events like this taking place. They know who are the 'senior' or perhaps more 'priveleged' members of the forum, and they chime in merely to show their 'allegiance' to the aforementioned members. I suspect it's either stemming from a fear of bullying or because they hope to buddy up with them in the future for 'perk' purposes — inside info, after-party invites, and so forth.

    But again that's a whole different can of worms on which to chew! (and ew, lol)

  3. I totally agree that the instant ridicule from “senior” members, and those that follow them like sheep – seems a little ridiculous. I will say that it's not gone unnoticed from people like me – but I don't really know where it comes from or why. It's very much like high school or even junior high all over again, and I don't really understand the point.

    The fact is, even as an adult, I was able to come to this community and find a group of women that I truly rely on. When my youngest was born and when my father passed away – these are the people that got me through all of it. For that – I'll be forever grateful to not only those women, but even the band. I realize that sounds odd, but it weren't for Duran Duran, I don't think I would have ever crossed paths with these women.

    I suppose for me, those are the moments that tend to overshadow the insanity that I see on the boards at times….and I have to try very hard to remember those times when things get rough! 🙂

  4. Ok here are my thoughts on this stuff. I want to give you my experience at a GA show not too long ago. I went with my sister to see a band and we love the band (nor Duran)and we choose not to stand by the stage for the opening acts. yet when the band we went to see came on we went to get as close as we could to the back of the crowd. I had people who were not in front of me to begin with trying to get there and I would stand in their way. I wanted to be as close as I could to as I could get to the band also. I decided not to hold my place at the front by standing there the entire time and wait for the band I wanted to see. So why should they get to just march up there in front of me not happening. Now if people left or moved I don't see a problem with moving up closer but don't try to stand in front of someone who was there before you. Why should someone hold your spot if you know you have to be there and your not there on time must not be that important to you. Now I will hold your spot if you are pottying or something like that.

    DON'T get me started about the click on DDM. I hardly ever post on there I like DDF. I won a trip to see DD in New Orleans (that I did not enter, it was everyone was entered). I got an email three days before the show. So of course I could not go how could I find someone to take care of my daughter and arrange for airfare and a hotel. So I had to reply to the email letting them know to pass the tickets on to the next person. I was sad yes, I would have liked more notice. I think you should only enter contests you can accept the prizes for. I don't think you should be limited to one win, but it does seem on DDM the same people win over and over.

    Also they jump all over you on DDM if you do not agree with them. I like the board I post on everyone is friendly and though we do not always agree we allow each other to say what they feel/think.

We (Amanda and Rhonda) appreciate discussion and differences of opinion. We respectfully ask that you fully read the blog before bitching us out. If you're only here to take us down a notch, note that we moderate replies (meaning we're not printing rude comments). Thanks a bunch!

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