While I have been excited for the Chicago show for awhile since, of course, the UK trip disappointment, part of me had been holding back. I think it is probably pretty natural since I flew all the way over to the UK and did not see any shows. At that time, I honestly didn’t know what the future was going to hold for Duran and Simon, in particular. I started to feel a little better with the positive reports from the rehearsal shows. This relief continued to improve after each of the US shows. This feeling, however, was mixed with a little envy at the people who got to see shows. Part of that feeling happens with every tour and every show, at least for me and probably others. This time was a little different. Part of that feeling, lately, had to do with worry and anxiety. I honestly worried that at any point I would hear that Simon couldn’t do it, that he couldn’t finish the tour. I thought, for sure, the tour would end before it got to my show. I won’t lie that part of me still worries about that but it is decreasing with every show.
Now, I’m less than 2 weeks away from my first show since April and starting to feel real excitement, the kind of excitement I used to feel. I’m feeling the excitement that had to do with seeing friends, meeting new Duranies and seeing my favorite band live in concert. For the last few months, the excitement had to more to do with hope at best and avoiding disappointment at worst. While waiting for the real excitement to grow, the plans have actually been made. In the past, when we make plans, we are expressing how much we are looking forward to the show, the tour. Lately, though, plans have gotten made because they had to be made not because we really want to make them. I’m starting to feel the itch of making plans for FUN. This is good, of course, because soon Rhonda and I have to really start planning for the UK tour! In the past, making plans has been part of what I have looked forward to. I want that to be the case now, too.
Now that the Chicago show is moving closer and my real excitement is growing, I have started to really believe that everything is okay and that my life as a Duranie is as it should be! Thus, I’m truly starting to look forward to Chicago and to the UK tour!!!