During the past week, Duran Duran’s official Twitter tweeted the following: “@duranduran #PaperGods N.American Tour 2nd leg kicks off NEXT week – what show are YOU going to???” Many people responded to the question as they did on Facebook for the same question. As I looked through the responses, most people seemed genuinely excited to share what show(s) they are going to. Sometimes, fans responded to each other either to share their excitement over the same show or to ask questions of each other. I always like seeing fan excitement and I definitely like fans interacting with each other positively.
I, too, answered the question from the Daily Duranie’s Twitter and I mentioned something about my upcoming shows on my personal Facebook. I was honest on the Daily Duranie Twitter that we are going to quite a few (Both Chicago shows, Detroit, Toronto, Paso Robles, Vegas, Irvine and Chula Vista). I got a few reactions that made me pause. Some of the responses included things like “8 shows!” or “I am so jealous! I wish I could go to that many” or even, “my wallet is more realistic”.
While none of the reactions were overtly negative or mean, it did make me wonder if I should have posted anything at all. First of all, I don’t know how to respond to someone who says that they wish they could go to as many shows. I truly don’t. Do I say, “I wish you could too?” or “I’m lucky that I can.”?? I wondered that people thought I was bragging, but I didn’t post my response to compare myself to anyone else. I simply answered the question. I wasn’t trying to make anyone feel badly. That is the last thing I would want. Of course, I understand the feeling that people would have about being able to do as much as we do. Many times I have felt the same way. There are many fans that I see do more than I do. For example, last weekend I posted an interview with a couple of my European friends who have been able to do more than I have. I also know plenty of UK people who are able to go to each and every show on the UK Tours. Heck, I see plenty of people who have had official meet and greets when I never have. Am I jealous? I think the word that trips me up is the word ‘jealous’. It means feeling or showing envy, which is a discontented feeling of longing. Am I discontented or unhappy for them? No. I wouldn’t say that I’m unhappy for them. Do I, at times, wish that I could do more? That goes without saying. I didn’t go to any shows during the spring tour here in the States. I couldn’t. Simple enough, but I was happy for those who did.
What is my point with this? I think there is a wide spectrum of what fans can do when it comes to things like going to shows. Some fans can’t or don’t want to go to as many shows as I might, for example, but there are fans who do a lot more than I do. Does that make them bigger or better fans than me? Absolutely not. Am I a bigger or better fan than someone who goes to less shows? No way. We are all just different in terms of how we can and have expressed our fandom. That said, I don’t want to worry about what to say when it comes to my fandom and I don’t want anyone else to worry about what to express about theirs. Instead I chose to be excited for other people and what they can do and I will walk away from anyone who puts me or anyone else down for their expression of fandom.
As for the money aspect of touring, I have a few things to say to stop any judgement there. Yes, we have paid for all of our tickets ourselves, Yes, the tickets are very expensive. Does that mean that I’m being ridiculous or irresponsible? Absolutely not. I work hard for my money and I have chosen to spend it on touring. This means that I sacrifice other things. For example, my house desperately needs new carpet and my kitchen appliances need a major overhaul. I would really like a new iPad since mine is over five years old. Yet, all of those purchases have to wait. Beyond how I prioritize, which everyone does, I also have not and never will use money I don’t have to go to a concert. I pay my bills, including my monthly credit card bill completely. Thank you very much. Now, at some point, will I chose those household needs over touring? That is very possible. Others might choose to focus their money on their house or have more family obligations, which is fine. Everyone must decide for themselves.
This all comes down to the same thing. I don’t want to keep my fandom “secret”. I want to be able to share how many shows I’m going to both publicly and with my friends without judgement. I suspect that others feel the same way. I recognize that it isn’t easy to hold back judgment. I’m not good at it myself but I’m really trying to work on it. It would be nice if we all work on it when it comes to something like fandom, something that is supposed to be fun.