Makes my hair stand up on end

Happy Monday, everyone. I’ve been spending my morning trying to catch myself up with the world. I left with my daughter Heather very early Thursday morning to fly to Ohio for her very first college dance audition. The next two days were filled with seminars, meetings, classes, auditions, interviews, tours and talking to parents. There were several moments over the weekend when I would look over at Heather and just marvel at where we are in life. Parents, like myself, just don’t realize how quickly it all goes – one day you’re registering for elementary school and the next you’re talking to college administrators about dormitories. It is crazy! Time really does fly. Ten years ago, I don’t think I really believed this moment would arrive. I was busy thinking about album signings and getting to see the band play. College felt incredibly far off and not something I really needed to think about.

At some point over the weekend, likely Saturday as I waited at the airport, I saw that Roger had posted his thoughts about the anniversary of Astronaut. Ten years. I took pause when I read the words because these ten years went by in the blink of an eye. Ten years ago, I had my then seven-year old waiting with me to meet the band. She and I shared a very special moment because she saw a side of me  that until then, I kept very hidden. She saw me live out a dream – meeting the band at the LA Virgin Megastore signing. My kids knew I liked Duran Duran, but until then, I hadn’t really participated much in the whole fan community thing. It was that year that I went to the convention in New Orleans, and it was the following March that I traveled to see my first show. However, it was the two nights I spent waiting in line with Heather, first to buy the album and then later that week coming back to have our album and CD signed, that really bonded Heather and I in a way I couldn’t have expected. She started to understand that her mom was much, much more than just the lady who comforts, cleans, cooks and drives. I wasn’t JUST a mom, I was a person, with my own likes, dislikes, friends, wishes and dreams. Heather marveled at how much going to that signing meant to me (It mattered so much that I signed her out of school to go with me – and if you know me, you know that kind of thing NEVER happens.), and I think she was thrilled I shared that with her. She could see my excitement during those evenings, and although she still remembers Simon quizzing her about her favorite books and having Andy excitedly jump out of his chair to shake her hand (cutest thing ever), it is the time that we spent together that she remembers most.

This past weekend, she and I shared another pretty monumental moment. I saw my daughter not as this incredibly disorganized, chronically LATE but beautifully talented child, but as a young woman, getting ready to make her own way in this world. She’s standing at her own fork in the road here, trying to figure out which way to go. The comforts of home beckon her to stay – which would be the easiest, but not necessarily the smartest; the unknown intimidating her even though I think down deep she realizes she still has plenty of growing to do. Just as Astronaut changed my life in many, many ways…college will change Heather’s. Standing here as “The Mommy” is much more difficult and heart-tugging than I thought. I found myself fighting back tears, both happy and sad, during the few moments of solitude I savored over the weekend.

Life changing moments happen without warning. I suspect that I will look back on #DD14 (when in the heck are they EVER going to name it?!?!!) and equate it to another pivotal moment –  high school graduation and college for my first born.

-R

 

 

5 thoughts on “Makes my hair stand up on end”

  1. Hi Rhonda.
    I understand exactly what you are feeling right now.
    Last year my oldest his school has ended. The graduation ceremony is non quite so popös like you, but the emotions are the same. Then the search for a training position. For my son did not want to attend school. As you said just started school and already over. Where the last 10 years have remained one knows. My Daughter has 3 more years. Then her school days are over. Let’s see what will come. But I am glad to see that my two are always independent and need us less and less. But you can let go right as Mama never. Wil you do that?
    Also, I was accompanied by DD this time. Maybe not quite as intensiev like you in but they always took share with your music in my life. And I hope that is a long long long time to come.
    MonaB

    1. My youngest is six. I have twelve more years and then I’ll be going through all of this one final time. Just as I had no sense of what Heather really wanted when she grew up (not until recently)…my little one is just as much of a mystery. I’m looking forward to the journey, though. 🙂 -R

  2. Ten years are a huge amount of time: it means at least two generations in the middle, it means we were in our early 30s, now we’re in our early 40s… all passed so quickly.
    Was the reunion a life changing moment to me as a fan? No, not exactly. I was glad to have Roger back, given my “crush” in my teen just when he left. I was naïve and too optimistic the reunion could work for more than one album, I also was too optimistic to think his relationship with his wife Giovanna, who never loved such stardom around her could last more than one album, but unfortunately… .
    The reunion was a party and back then I took it exactly for it.
    I’m not a mom, but can only wish you and your family could have a fantastic ten years set to come.

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