I apologize for the lateness of the blog today. I have no good reason other than I’m being kind of a bum. My to do list is relatively small, at least in terms of work, which means that I have spent most of my day on the couch, relaxing. Of course, I should be using the time to catch up on other activities that often gets pushed aside and I will. I’ll get back on track by writing this little blog.
In what comes to a surprise to no one, I don’t tend to think of myself as being like everyone else. No, the word that often comes to my mind when I think of myself is “outsider”. I never really fit it in and always felt like I was going against the grain, swimming upstream. Even now, as an adult, I feel this way. I’m not into what lots of other people are into. The examples are numerous. I won’t be watching the Super Bowl (not even for the commercials). I don’t have a husband or kiddos to occupy my time. Instead, I spend a lot of time working, focusing on politics and volunteering on political campaigns. Not normal, I know.
As a kid, this wedge between me and common, ordinary, normal was just as strong. I avoided buying the cool clothes and never even tried to fit in. In fact, at times, I rejected that strongly and openly. I did go through most of my high school career wearing only black, white, dark green and grey, after all. Major high school activities were ones that I avoided. It wasn’t like people hated me (although some did. I spoke my mind and went against the common ideas of the time and place). Needless to say, I was a political and religious minority in my home town. I’m not sure why this is the case. I didn’t reject normalcy as a elementary school student. It just was. It is who I am. I don’t think that’s bad but I get it when people don’t like me or cannot relate.
My tastes also were not common for the vast majority of my life. Sometimes, this means that I push aside that which is popular. (The Super Bowl is one example. I never got into Harry Potter for the same reason.) For some reason, when something is so popular, I move away from it. Maybe I think I won’t be able to call it “mine” with such popularity or that I worry that others connected to whatever is popular will reject me. There is one exception to this rule. One. Duran Duran.
When I became a fan of Duran in 1983/1984ish, they were pretty much the biggest band in the world. I don’t think that anyone reading this would disagree. I was pretty dang young at that time (8-9 years old). I didn’t really know what was popular and what wasn’t. I didn’t over think things and let my best friend take the lead. She had heard/seen Duran first and decided we must love them. I didn’t realize that I would be one of millions of fans. How could I have known that I would be part of a mass of people? Yet, there I was, loving what was super popular.
Even now, as an adult, I feel like Duran Duran is my one anchor to normalcy, which sounds weird. Being a fan isn’t typically what determines an adult’s social status. Too often being a big fan of something would make an adult look weird. Many stereotypes and assumptions tend to follow. Yet, I accept all that because it is the one thing that people seem to be able to relate to me. I don’t know that a lot of other Duranies can relate to my political work but they can relate to my loving Duran.
On most days, I’m cool with who I am and how I spend my life. Sometimes, though, I wish that I could be more like everyone else, to stop swimming against the tide. Yet, I cannot or won’t deny who I am or what matters to me. On good days and not-so-good days, I always appreciate having Duran in my world On that one thing, for one moment I was and am just like everyone else.