Tag Archives: Chula Vista

Touring is not a sprint, it is a marathon!

So here it is, our final video blog of the 2016 Paper Gods tour.  If we had to sum up the tour in a single sentence (or title), we’d say that touring is not a sprint, it is a marathon!  We tried to cover and condense all of our thoughts into a single video. At just over a half-hour, we’re recommending food and beverage before viewing. You’re welcome.

We have so many feelings and thoughts about this tour, it was hard to know where to begin.  As the exhaustion becomes readily apparent, the emotion also flows easily through our words. We love this band, and to quote Lori Majewski – we love them so much it hurts.

While neither of us are emotionally ready for this to end, we know that it must. So, I will drive Amanda to the airport today, and then spend a couple of weeks camping with my family (I have a few guest blogs to share with you in my absence). I hope that those of you who still have shows left will thoroughly enjoy them. I know that I did.

Life is so weird. I really believed that this trip would be my last for Duran Duran. I also think that’s where I went wrong in my thinking. After all, the trips aren’t just about the band. They’re about seeing many of you along the way. I spent a lot of time on this tour laughing, talking and just being thankful that my life crossed paths with so many of you in the process. For me, touring is my happy place. It is not only my escape, but it is my bliss, and I don’t know why I would want to ever stop doing that unless I had no other choice.

So, I’m off to drop Amanda at the airport and resume regular life. I’m amazed at just how quickly things pile up around here when I’m not around to do chores, so I’ll be doing much of that along with packing up so that we can get out of here early Saturday morning. I’ll be taking a lot of you along with me though, in my memories of what has got to be the best July I’ve ever experienced. Love to you all.

-R

 

Last Time La Luna

I don’t want to be sad. I hate tears and that kind of thing, particularly in front of other people. (I’m a really good shower crier) The last thing I want to do is start to cry at a show. In front of the band. I’d say no thanks, but I already did at the last show (Irvine). Damn that “New Moon on Monday!” I discreetly wiped the few that escaped and tried to sing and clap along as I willed myself to stop thinking about how that song encapsulates everything I know and remember from my youth, or how that was the second to last time I’d hear the song this tour. Now tonight, I’ll hear it one last time (for me) on this tour. I look forward to hearing it because I love the song, but I also dread the wistfulness that will be attached.

I knew the eight shows would go by fast. The first four certainly flew by, but then I anticipated the next four and that got me through a very busy week in between. But now, well, it is different. Mind you, I do have things to be excited about. Early Saturday morning, I’m leaving for a two-week vacation with my family. Before you all get jealous—we’re camping. In a trailer, thank you. We are going to Arches National Park in Utah (where we will bake in the sun), then up to Yellowstone for seven days, and then the Grand Tetons and back home. In case anyone is curious: yes, touring and camping are complete opposite ends of the spectrum. It is going to be detox in a major way as we are fairly sure I won’t even have cell or data service for at least portions of the trip. I get a nervous tic whenever I start thinking about not being able to check in with the world. Life will be returning to normal in a big way once I drop Amanda off at the airport tomorrow.

I have more fun on this tour than ever. Sure, our seats have been great most of the way, and the band has entertained us wildly. Amanda and I have laughed until we’ve cried. We’ve successfully ducked from Simon’s White Lines spitting trick five times so far (the other two times we were so far back or to the side it didn’t matter).  I’ve been hit directly on the head by a beach ball about four times, and twice Dom has kicked a beach ball right in my direction. My reflexes still work well enough to duck in time. We spent time with our Canadian bestie, Heather. We drove over a border and weren’t arrested. Twice! I witnessed Amanda’s horror at walking through the livestock section at a county fair (priceless!!). We tried (and failed) at winning enough money in Vegas to pay for our bar bills (which have been atrocious this tour and I’m not even going to joke about that).  I think we tried to pack as much fun, laughter, serious discussion and even a bit of work (yes, we’re working on a proposal for a brand new book…and yes, it’s on Duran Duran!) as possible during our time together. But, it’s never enough.

Oddly, I distinctly remember questioning whether or not I should even embark on this tour. Something happened to me after finishing that manuscript in June. I really wondered if maybe I had completely reconciled my feelings to the point where I was done being a fan. Did I still love the band? Did I still love being a fan? Was I ready just to walk away completely? I felt very much as I did after I’d had my first baby (who is now 19), that maybe it was just time to let it go. I told my husband and everyone I knew that this was my last trip for Duran Duran. I couldn’t afford it any longer (true), and that you can only go and see the same show so many times. I convinced myself that this was my swan song, and that I had to do everything I possibly could this tour to get it all, and I mean ALL, out of my system.

I didn’t know what that meant for Daily Duranie, and I never really discussed that with Amanda. I figured that I would probably still blog, and that if they came to California again at some point, that sure, I’d go see them. But, the traveling and touring days were over. I knew I’d keep writing books, and I just told myself that I didn’t have to actually go on road trips or tour in order to be an author. The week before I left for Chicago, my mom’s partner had a massive heart attack and died, and at that point I was even more convinced that this tour would be my very last. My mom isn’t young, and she will need my help going forward doing the things that Dennis used to do for her. I started feeling even more guilty about the money I’d spent, and by the time I left, I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to have fun even though I desperately needed some. I had some hard conversations more than once with Amanda along the way, and while I knew she understood that my life had taken a turn, I also knew she wasn’t happy about it. By the time the first set of four shows ended and I was dropped off at Midway, I was beginning to waver.

On one hand, I did (and do) recognize the expense of doing what we do. I’d like to take more vacations that do not consist of me cooking and cleaning all the time, but with traveling like this, it doesn’t leave much in the budget. I also know that my mom and kids still need me and yet I’m running around the country like I’m still in my twenties, so I’m told. (and it’s fun!) I know my husband isn’t a big fan of me going to all of these shows because he doesn’t like me being gone. That’s another problem that I’ve grown very tired of dealing with. I feel torn. I’ve spent twenty years putting the needs of others before my own. It isn’t as though I tour every month or even every year. I don’t even see Amanda every six months consistently. But the guilt and the annoyance factors are strong. Sometimes it’s just easier to give in and make everyone else happy and just convince myself that it’s for the best. I think a lot of moms do that and it becomes a basic skill of survival.

So now, here I sit the morning before my last show. The show I’ve told myself would be my final one. We stayed in fancy hotels, we hung out in bars. We tried to do meet-ups that would bring the community together. We laughed WITH the band onstage. I tried to show my support without seeming like a crazy, desperate fan. Do I feel like I’ve done everything I set out to do?

No.

If I’m really being honest, the answer is no. There are two levels to that answer. First of all, as a fan, the one thing this tour has taught me is that the set list really doesn’t matter as much as I thought it did. I still have a fantastic time no matter what they play. They put on an amazing show with SO much energy, and they honestly and truly loo like they have fun doing it every single night. In turn, I have a blast every single night. I don’t want to stop doing that. Ever.

Secondly, Amanda and I want to keep writing. We can’t control whether or not we ever meet the band beyond a quick “hi” at a signing.  We aren’t in their “inner circle” and probably never will be. We write what WE see, witness and/or believe here, whether or not the band and management agree.  That might not always earn us friends, but we can look ourselves in the mirror. That matters more to us in the end. Showing up at places we think the band might arrive will get us nowhere. Asking people we thought we could count on for help has also done very little. (Let me be clear: both scenarios continue to get us nowhere.)  We are irrelevant in that sense, so for the two of us—it is about our writing and bringing this big, dysfunctional family we call a fan community together. We are determined and can do this—on our own steam no less, because we’re just crazy enough to believe it can be done. I am proud of that work and want to keep doing it. Some may not call what we do “work”, and you know what? I don’t fucking care what anyone else thinks, to be incredibly blunt. I want to keep doing meet-ups, planning conventions, and writing. Not all of that requires that I attend countless shows, but some of it really kind of does.

So where does that leave me? Well, aside from broke right now, I’m not sure. I’m pretty stubborn when I want to be. As result, there’s a part of me that is desperate to sell these manuscripts to publishers so that way I can look a lot of people in the eye and say “I told you so, and I can do this whether or not you claim to know me, or respect our work, dammit.” I’m annoyed by my own life circumstance just enough to throw caution to the wind and get it done. I just hope to stay determined in the coming months as life gets challenging with college applications (it’s my son’s turn now!), homeschooling, and schedules.

Stubbornness aside, I wouldn’t be surprised if tears are shed tonight during “New Moon on Monday. I’m glad I’ll have Amanda there, because she’s really the only one I know who understands me. Once I had a friend who did something like thirteen shows on a Duran tour. She traveled with friends for like three weeks and I know she had the time of her life. She cried when she got home, and I could never figure out why.

I get it now.

Last time La Luna.

-R

 

I’m Not Thinking About the Future

I really cannot believe that for Amanda and I, this tour is quickly coming to an end. We waited so long for the time to come, and now those moments are drawing to a close. We do still have one final show to attend in Chula Vista tomorrow, and it has been a fantastic time so far. We’ve had great luck on this tour. Yesterday, Amanda and I took a drive up to Hollywood to see a friend of ours. (Yes Robyn, I count you as a friend now too!) We had lunch, wandered around Amoeba Records for a while, and then met up with a couple of other friends for coffee.

These other friends we met up with were from San Diego and Argentina.  (Shout out to Shelly, her daughter Rachel, Faby and Gerardo!) As we walked to Starbucks in search of a caffeinated afternoon-pick-me-up, I thought about luck.

I’m not one of those people who wins many contests. I don’t typically have the best fortune when it comes to running into band members the way some of you do. In fact, I could be given solid information about where they are at any given time and STILL not find them, which is kind of funny! (if it’s not meant to happen, it’s not happening – right?) I have several friends and acquaintances that just seem to have their life together. I’m sure they’ve worked very hard to land their dream jobs—please don’t read this as though I’m saying otherwise—but I haven’t quite “found” my dream job yet, I guess. I’m still sort of floundering and trying to figure it out. Later in life than most, but I’ve also spent twenty years at home with my kids. I am definitely not one of those people who has just had everything fall into place yet. I keep trying. I would probably say that I’m not necessarily lucky. Hard worker? Yes. Good at buying pre-sale tickets? Probably. (unless Ticketmaster is involved!)  But otherwise? Not quite sure about that.

On the other hand though, I have hit the jackpot and then some when it comes to my friends. I started thinking about all of the people I have met while being active in the fan community for Duran Duran. I know people from all over the world at this point. I have a very small circle of friends that I can count on to bring me up when I’m feeling down, talk me away from the proverbial edge as necessary, and within that small group, a couple of very close friends that push me to keep going when I most need it. Those same two are also not afraid to call me out when it is deserved, and remind me that life doesn’t suck, no matter how hard it seems at times. I don’t think they know how much they matter to me.

My days are pretty mixed up right now, but a couple of nights ago Amanda and I were recording a video blog to “review” (so to speak, anyway) the Las Vegas show. I think we rambled onto the topic of how sad we were going to be when we came to our last show. It was important for us to convey how we’ll feel when it ends, because let’s face it—we’ve ALL heard rumors over the past few years about how this might be the last album, etc.  I think that concern hangs over me at times like this.

First of all, going to see Duran Duran is my break. It is like planning a giant “girls weekend”.  That isn’t to say we couldn’t plan one without them, but there are girls weekends, and then there are girls weekends with Duran Duran.  I think most of you understand the difference. The band adds another dimension, and I don’t want to see that end.

Secondly, there’s the music. I thrive on live music. I love seeing bands play and being consumed by the sound and energy on the stage. I like being up close and seeing the band’s reaction. I love being farther back and hearing the subtle nuances I miss when I’m up front.  I can’t imagine never having that again with Duran Duran. Can you?

Then, there are the meet-ups that Amanda and I plan. Strangely, I haven’t always enjoyed those meet-ups, believe it or not! They push me so far out of my comfort zone of hiding in a corner, I can’t even tell you. When we host parties like that, I have to mingle and be social. For me, there’s a fair amount of anxiety associated with that. I always have that few minutes as we’re sitting there, all set-up and waiting for people to arrive where I wonder if anyone will show.

Thankfully, you people are typically gracious and don’t leave me wondering for long! People begin to wander up and say hello, and I meet lots of new people. I begin to relax. In Las Vegas this past week, we had a huge turnout. I saw people I hadn’t seen in at least five or six years, and there were moments that I really had to swallow a lump in my throat because I was so thrilled to see people. It made my heart so happy, and for those of you who weren’t aware—I really needed some of that happiness.  For me, this pre-show party wasn’t just a meet-up, it was like a family reunion.  I walked away that night having new appreciation for these parties.

When I think that after tomorrow night, I won’t be planning pre-show meet-ups for a while, it makes me sad.  Every time we talk about one party we’ve hosted, someone shoots us a message asking if we’re coming to their city to do another. Believe me when I say that I really wish we could.  The trouble is, these meet-ups aren’t a job for us, and so the cost in organizing, traveling and attending is completely on Amanda and I. So we do what we can.  The idea that we’ve done a few and now they’re over really does hit hard. It’s not just going to the shows that matters—it is rallying the troops, organizing events for fans, and really strengthening the community that matters.  I meant it when I said that our fan community is like a big, dysfunctional family. So our parties and events really are like reunions. I hope we have the opportunity to host more of them before future shows.

How long will it be before I see some of these people again? Now, of course I know that Amanda and I could plan parties without the band touring. In fact, we really are doing a Durandemonium convention in 2017 (Mark your calendars for August 10th – which is a Thursday, through August 13th – a Sunday!!!)  Even so, it’s not the same as a tour. It’s the whole “group therapy” thing—the concerts—that are missing. Sure, we could probably pay the band to play in the same way that people hire them to do private shows…. (How much are y’all willing to pay in ticket prices, because I’m pretty sure that band isn’t cheap! I highly doubt the word “affordable” would characterize a ticket to a convention where they were going to appear, in other words.)

When I stand in the audience tomorrow night and begin to cheer as they come on stage, I’m going to try my best to push thoughts of the future out of my mind. I am going to focus on the hearts beating all around me, and staying in the present for the show. Every single second of the show needs to stay with me until the next opportunity I have to do this all over again. But, during New Moon on Monday, I won’t be surprised if a few tears threaten to escape. I don’t know what it is about that song for me on this tour, but just hearing it reminds me of how much this band and their fans mean to me. I am so lucky.

-R

 

Duran Duran Summer Tour 2016: The Sequel!

I am currently glancing nervously around my house as I sit here composing this blog posting. Later tonight, Amanda arrives, and then we prepare ourselves for the next set of shows we are attending together on our Duran Duran Summer Tour 2016. The final four we’ll do on this leg of the Paper Gods tour. (I stopped just short of saying it’s the last four we’ll do for the entire tour because well, you never know. Maybe.)

At this moment, my house looks like we just moved here. Likely because my oldest just moved out this past weekend and took some of my old furniture with her. This only poses a problem because we now no longer have couches in our formal living area, nor do we have furniture in her old bedroom. I have no time, no money (thanks to Duran Duran! Ha ha!!), and really no plans to figure out what I’m going to do with her old room until I get back from my own vacation at the end of August. But hey, at least there’s more room around here!

If that weren’t enough (and it is really is), I’m also trying to find time to help my mom. As most know, she lost her partner last month to a heart attack. All of us are still adjusting, and the agonizing last few details, such as cleaning out his apartment, need finishing. I will no sooner drop Amanda back off at the airport, and I’ll be packing up our trailer for a huge camping trip to the Grand Tetons and Yellowstone. In many ways (as per the usual), I have no business leaving this house to see Duran Duran.

Never mind that for me, I’ve continued to put aside the idea that this might actually be the last bit of travel I do for this band, at least for the foreseeable future. To begin with, I continue to hear that they’re planning to tour other parts of the world next year. So that’s 2017, in a nutshell. After that, I’m not sure what they’ll do, if anything.

Isn’t that idea strange? When I was a kid, I was blissfully unaware of anything really being final. I mean, it never occurred to me that they would someday stop recording. I suppose that’s also why when Roger and Andy left, I was so shocked. The thought just hadn’t occurred to me prior.  But then they reunited, and because I had already lived through band members leaving once, I knew it could happen again. Andy left a second time, and since then, I won’t lie—with the close of every album “cycle”, so to speak, I wonder if they’ll dare to try it all again. I want them to keep going, but I admittedly try to prepare myself that they will not.

Fans get furious when we—Amanda and I—even type those words here. No one wants the story to end, least of all us. I mean, think about it—what use is Daily Duranie if there’s no band?!? So before anyone accuses us of wanting them to quit, think before you type. On the same token, we’re not blind, and we recognize they could easily quit now and never look back. I wish I could will myself back to never thinking about it, but nowadays the question just seems to hang in the air, and I cannot tell you how many times I am personally asked the question—“Do you think they’ll record or tour again, Rhonda?“—at every single meet-up or event we attend.

I wish I had a crystal ball. I know that when I go to these last four shows of mine, each time I hear the little bit of “New Moon on Monday” that they’ve incorporated into their set, I’m going to try to live in that moment and not think about anything else. However, even as I type right now, I know there’s going to be a teeny piece of me (one that will probably try to grow bigger with each passing show) that is going to count down the amount of times I will still get to hear that song live. Four, then three, then two, and then one. And then what?

I am really not very good at endings. One of the most difficult things I had to do when writing the manuscript was finish the conclusion. The story shouldn’t end. I never want to write those words: “The end.” So I won’t. I am hoping for more shows, musicals, ballets, and/or work to come from people like Anna and Dom. I’ll be planning another convention for next August in Chicago, blogging each day, and writing more books. Yes, more books!!  And when the band says they’re recording again, I’ll smile.

Duran Duran Summer Tour 2016: here we come for part deux!!

-R