Tag Archives: fan activities

Pre-gaming the Pre-show and Other Delights!

I can hear the cracking sound

It is a SHOW DAY today, people!! Are you ready?!? By “you”, of course – I mean Duran Duran. I hope you’re ready! We – the fans of course – we’re born ready for this type of thing, right??

My apologies for the late blog. The smallest Rivera is settling into our new community by beginning a new school tomorrow morning. Today was an orientation day, and then tomorrow she gets thrown to the lions. Well, not really…but she will be one of just seven girls in her blended 4th and 5th grade class!

I was animatedly chatting with friends about the show this morning. We spent time debating set list possibilities, possible costuming, wondering what they might open and close with, and so on. The conversations were great. It all reminded me of just how much I enjoy talking about the music with other fans. It also vaguely seemed like something else I couldn’t quite put my finger on right away. Then it hit me.

Some fans enjoy chatting about the shows, the costumes, visuals and even the lighting and sound. I don’t know of a lot of people outside of my small circle of Twitter pals that can spend a full-day going around and around about what song Duran Duran might use as an opener. They will excitedly debate, citing historical choices and reason. Apparently, we can ponder and question possible choices like nobody’s business. It is all very similar to watching a pregame show before a big game, like the Super Bowl. While the conversations can be very serious, there’s also an air of humor surrounding much of it. We keep it light, friendly, and fun.

Something else

For fans, the concerts ARE our Super Bowls, aren’t they? The lucky part is that the winners happen to be the fans. Moreover, we win every single time! Not a bad thing, in my mind. This being Reason #257 why I choose concerts over sports, every single time.

The key is never allowing those expectations to ruin a good time. Sure, you bought VIP tickets, but while you expected to have an unobstructed view, instead your seats are way off to the side, or are facing speakers…or two very large men end up in front of you, ruining any chance of actually being able to see more than a tiny sliver of the stage at any one time. Any one of those mishaps are enough to put a damper on joy of the evening, and might even have the potential to ruin the night…if you allow.

You could cut the atmosphere

I draw from personal experience here. There have been times when I have dissected a show within inches of it’s life before it has even taken place. I’ve announced what songs I hope to hear, and what songs I hope they leave off the set list. My friends and I have analyzed every single part of their live show, I’ve noticed when the onstage choreography seems more rehearsed than organic. I’ve had the greatest of expectations, only to arrive at the show and be thwarted, whether due to crowds, tall people, or even bad seats, right alongside my own bad attitude.. At some shows I’ve let those things bother me to the point of being angry. At others, I learned from my past mistakes, shrugged it off, and danced like nobody was watching.

When it all comes down to it, I believe there has to be a balance. Talking about everything from set list to shows, to upcoming albums is exciting to me, but I also like the element of surprise.

I don’t need to know every subtle nuance, or recognize every time Roger should twirl his stick, or when Dom should cross the stage. Knowing the set list in advance of my shows doesn’t help to entice me (although admittedly, it is very hard to stay away from such things online!), and I don’t need to hear who has already taken photos with whom or how so-and-so isn’t going to be staying at the hotel or so forth because they flew on to the next stop and so on. Knowing future collaborators or producers isn’t a worry I’m willing to take on. I might comment on it, but worry? Nah. Not worth it. Let the music speak for itself. Balance is a good thing. Surprises can be nice.

Things are hoting up in here

So, over the next week or two as I talk Duran Duran, whether as a pre-show commentator, or “Monday Morning Quarterback” (so to speak!) I also will keep managing those expectations. As John Taylor says (and if I were a tattoo gal – which I am not – I would have this in tiny script around one my ankles just to remind me) “expectations are simply future resentments”.

-R



Shelter of my Heart

There are weeks when I’m pretty sure you’ve heard entirely too much from me. This may be one of them.

Yesterday, I composed a post that wasn’t all that easy to write. Well, I take that back – it actually wasn’t difficult at all for me to write, but I was a little concerned about how some might take it. Writing the words was actually the easy part. It felt wonderful to just put it all out there and be free of the burden. The more uncomfortable portion was knowing that once the words were out there, I really didn’t have any control over how they were read or digested.

Girl, you’re looking beat and cold

Twenty-four hours later, and I realize that I need to clarify a couple of things. First of all, I’m not suicidal. Please know and understand that. I appreciate the concern, but I can 100% promise that I’m nowhere near that point. Yes, I know how to ask for help. I will just say that contemplating the possibility six months ago, and being truly suicidal are incredibly different things.

Second, writing this blog gives me joy. It is the one escape I had last year, and there were some weeks where it felt like the only bright spot in each day. So the suggestion that I should take a step back or take an extended break, however well-intended, is the wrong advice for me OR Amanda. I appreciate the thought, but in this case, it would do far more harm than good.

In my imagination this is how the message reads

I can understand the confusion though. I did write about the tug-of-war between the pressures of real life, fandom and even blogging. That is true. That tug-of-war does exist. When I’m blogging, working on the website, talking with friends about which B-sides should have really been album tracks, or even planning a trip to Vegas – I know there are other things I should be doing here at home. Like perhaps planning the school day for my youngest. When I’m focusing solely on parenting, being a good partner and that kind of thing, I know I’m ignoring my friends and other things I like, and I start wishing for an escape plan. It’s a juggle, and the key is balancing it all, right? That’s a normal, constant thing for everyone – and 99% of the time, I can do it no problem. Last year though, that was different.

Let me try to explain again. Picture walking up a fairly steep hill. It is a trek you’re used to, and you’re used to carrying a large bag with you. It is heavy and you’ve got to go slow, but you can do it. Truth be told, you like doing it because the scenery is beautiful along the way, but yeah – it’s hard.

Then one day, you’re asked to carry not just one bag, but three. Two bags aren’t awful because you’ve got two hands and you can balance, but three requires a little more finesse. Of course, the added bonus is that the bags are really heavy and filled to the brim. You start off fine, but then some stuff falls out of one of the bags, and as you’re bending over to grab that stuff more falls out of the others. You keep trying to pick stuff up but things keep toppling out of the bags. Eventually, your knee gives out and you fall down completely. That was sort of how I felt last year. I was at my lowest point just before summer, I think.

Reaching out

I felt like writing that post yesterday was important not just for me, but for anybody. I’ve never been diagnosed with depression. I’ve never been quite that “low” before. I do have anxiety from time to time, and I’m high-strung (that shouldn’t be a shock to anyone), but again – last year was different. I think when we envision someone who is struggling, we assume they aren’t functioning. We think that when someone is really depressed, they’re unable to get out of bed, or they’re a shut-in, hiding under blankets or staring blankly at the ceiling fan as it spins in slow circles.

So, I’d write. Sometimes, I’d just barely graze the pile of feelings I had steadily growing in the pit of my stomach, just to see if it stung. “Yep. Still burns a bit. That must mean I’m still alive, right?” I’d quickly go back to vague-posts, because it was far safer. I never really had anyone asking me questions, and to be honest – my husband, engineer-that-he-is, never seemed to notice anything any different. Some people would ask if I was alright, but I always played it off brilliantly (or so I thought). “Yeah, we’re totally fine. Just super busy! It’s really hard getting the house ready to sell. Just look at all of those bins. Crazy, huh?”  

You know you’re in deep when you start believing your own B.S. I’m pretty sure John Taylor said that somewhere in his autobiography. If he didn’t, he should have…and if he did, he’s right! You’d think I was trying to masterfully cover up an addiction. I wasn’t. I was just trying to make sure no one knew how far down in the pit of depression I really was. Feelings. Icky.

Calling Out

But anyway, back to the writing thing. I write. I don’t have any real answers here except that for whatever reason – it is far easier for me to get the words out while typing than while talking. I’m gloriously weird that way. I can’t tell you that I’m really hurting, or that I am considering suicide, or that I’m a numbskull because I once fell in love with a rock star…but I can write about it all day long.

A few people with kind intentions thought that the pressure of Daily Duranie is what dragged me down, so maybe taking a step back would ease the pain. Thankfully, I’m really not depressed anymore. I’m not completely back to normal, primarily because I’m still settling into a new house and town – so things are just weird (but I like it). I’m getting there, though. Even if I were still feeling low, I would want to keep blogging. However, if somebody wants to come clean the house, do my laundry, teach my youngest, run my errands, and deal with my husband…I’m totally open to that, and it seems like a pretty good deal to me!

Hear me now

I hope this clarifies a bit. I’m sorry this isn’t a feel-good story about how Duran Duran saved my life. In some ways though, I suppose they helped. The moments I spent writing this past year brought some much needed sunshine onto my face. While it wasn’t necessarily a song, or toothy-grins from a band I’ve loved since my teen years that brought me back over the edge – the act of writing certainly helped. I can thank Duran Duran for that.

Let us all hope this is the last post I write about depression.

-R


Picking Through the Pieces

I have friends and acquaintances that have had the good fortune to run into the band many, many times. So much so, that they’ve become recognizable to Simon, Nick, John, Roger and probably even Dom and so on. They know when a band member might make an appearance somewhere and they show up in support, or maybe they know where one of them lives or places they frequent. As a result, they’ve been fortunate enough to take pictures with the band, maybe even many times, and they’ve posted them online.

Apparently, this practice also runs the risk of being incredibly offensive.

On one hand, I get it. I don’t live within reasonable proximity to any member of the band.  Even John’s home in California isn’t exactly nearby, and I haven’t made a habit of going up to the Hollywood Hills to just hang out. I’d be lying if I didn’t say that yeah, when things come up in places I can’t go, of course I’m envious of those who can attend. That’s natural for a lot of people, particularly when the band isn’t making regular appearances anywhere. That doesn’t mean I’m hoping for bad things to happen, or I’m posting my annoyances about the people who do have new pictures to show. It just means that inwardly, I wish I could do more. Yep, I wish some band member ran over to hug me or come sit with us when we’ve been out places. I wish I could be at everything. Of course!

On the other hand, I don’t understand at all. I’m well-aware that it seems like some people just get the band’s attention a lot. I know that some people have no compunction about sharing tales of spending real time with band members. Sure sometimes it feels like they’re almost bragging.  Does it really matter?

Some fans have what may seem like hundreds of pictures with them. I’ve commented about that in the past. I’ve come to learn that it really doesn’t matter. I don’t care if Susie Chauffeur has had 5,000 pictures with the band and gets another. It doesn’t matter. She’s just lucky. Maybe she’s luckier than I am. A lot of people are! Who cares?Maybe she really needed those pictures in order to feel a little more human that day. Jealousy boils down to a lot of wasted energy.

Sure, I guess I could be mad. I suppose I could be very jealous that Mary or Sally spent time with my favorite band members or that they have enough pictures to fill a photo album. In the past, I’ve even had the nerve to publicly question how many pictures would constitute “enough”. I lost friends over it, and in the end – it hardly seems worth the effort. What might be enough for you, or even for me, might not be for somebody else. Spending the negative energy to put those feelings out there seems like a big waste. It is tiring!

So, when I go online and I see truly nasty comments about someone who has had the good fortune to see Nick or to take pictures with Simon or even Roger or John, I have to wonder where that anger is coming from and why? Is it really worth the time? For me, it’s just easier on my spirit to wish them well. It makes sense, if you think about it. Positive energy flows easily. There’s almost no effort involved in clicking the “like” button and moving on about your day. Posting something out of anger is far more difficult. I can’t stand the mental anguish, even when I’m furious.

Snarky comments, even ones I’ve posted myself, tend to keep me thinking. I hate the feeling I get after I post something out of anger. It just isn’t worth my anxiety. I walk away in a bad mood, and I sulk about it the entire day.  For what? I try to remind myself to think twice before I post. I’m not perfect, but in the end, it just isn’t worth spreading the negative energy.

Maybe I’m weird, but I don’t actually like posting mean things about people. In return, I don’t enjoy the icky feeling of knowing that people don’t like me. I got involved in the fan community because I wanted to make friends, not enemies.

-R

NYC Fan Meet-up!

Calling all Duranies, this is an official Duranie Alert for a fan activity!! (well, maybe not quite that official…)

Are you on the East Coast? Can you get yourself to New York City?  If you are so inclined, there is an upcoming Duran Duran Fan Meet-up happening at Loreley Beer Garden in Manhattan on October 6th!

Amanda and I love going to fan meet-ups! They are the very best way to meet new friends and celebrate Duran Duran. The connections fans make with one another are the lifeblood of the fan community, and it is exciting to see fan activities like this taking place, even if they’re on the opposite coast from this Duranie.

This meet-up sounds like a great way to bring in Autumn. There aren’t any Duran Duran gigs on the calendar until at least 2019 (KAABOO February 15-16), so what better way for a pick-me-up than a fan activity like this?

It would be outstanding to be able to give the beer garden a headcount, so drop us a line here at Daily Duranie to say you’re going and we’ll let the event organizer know. If you’ve already gotten invited to the event through Facebook and responded that way – no need to tell us. We’re just trying to help her spread the good news!

Do us a favor, and have some beer for us too!  We’ll each be at our homes, wallowing in self-pity. Maybe Amanda will be grading papers, and perhaps I’ll be packing and boxing. We both will be wishing we were in New York City, having a great time visiting with all of you!

Here are the details – don’t forget to let us know you’re going (send us an email!)

NYC Fan Meet-Up
October 6, 2018, 6pm EDT
Loreley Beer Garden
7 Rivington St. New York, New York 10002

So envious of anyone who is able to go – send us some pictures so we can post them!!

-R