Tag Archives: fandoms

As I walked on, I realized I was going up

Happy Monday! 

I can already tell how this week is going to go, because today I needed to update WordPress, which is the editor, along with the engine that makes our website work (kind of).  This new version of WordPress is significantly different, and there’s a bit of a learning curve for it. I can hardly wait for Amanda to try it out this weekend. Or tomorrow morning when she posts the daily question! EEK!

We’re moving, moving, moving

Up until now I’ve had to be pretty vague about my plans for the last half of December. Planning was a bit up in the air, and I didn’t know how or when things might happen. As most know, my family has been in the process of moving….for the past six months. I know, it’s been the longest move EVER. (Oh believe me, I know.) Well, the time has come, *cue Sunrise*, instead of music between us – it is a sea of plastic bins (not rubbish bins, storage bins!). We move next week! Tuesday and Wednesday, the furniture will be moved out of my house and then we move in to the new house that weekend. 

Timing is incredibly tight. The man in the red suit absolutely MUST visit on Christmas Eve, because our ten-year old still believes in the wonder of the holiday with all of her heart. I love that innocence about her and I refuse to let her down, one way or another. We get the keys to the new place on the Friday before Christmas at 6pm. That gives me three days to pull it together and make magic happen. I’ve got this. Probably. 

So where is my family headed? We’re moving from a suburb in Orange County about five hours north to the hills on the west side of Atascadero. We will be 15 minutes south of Paso Robles, and 20 minutes from Morro Bay – we timed it just the other day! Here in the OC we are in a tight neighborhood, and up there we’ll be in an enclave of ranches, where populations of chickens and goats outnumber humans. Down here, people collect Teslas and BMWs. Up there, folks are more concerned with what kind of coop you’re using for your chickens or what kind of small tractor or mower works best for clearing land. I’m not panicking. My nails are bitten down to the nubs, and my shoulders feel like bricks, but I’m fine. Probably. 

A holiday break 

So that leads me to this: I’m taking a little time off from blogging. Not because I need a vacation or because I’ve fallen off of the bandwagon (HA!), but because of logistics. So this will be my final week of blogging until after the new year. Assuming all is well (and it will be!), I’ll be back writing on Wednesday, January 2nd. If you don’t think you can manage that long without hearing from me, check me out on Twitter. Oh believe me, I’ll tweet the insanity. S news?

Studio Update?

Meanwhile, I heard that Duran Duran is finished in the studio until springtime, so those of you who thought 2019 might be a good year for a new album will likely be waiting a bit longer. I’m still going with 2020 as the possible target, at least for now.

Limitless Idolization

One more thing before I leave you for today – I saw that a fellow Duran blog is ending. Headfullofchopstick, artfully written in a way I can only envy, has published its final post. Fandom is a strange, wild trip. I won’t fault anyone for choosing to step off the path, nor would  I judge the reason why. There is a lot of talk about idolization, faith and glorification within fan studies. Unfortunately, many fans buy into all of that and more, at the risk of losing themselves in the aftermath.

The one thing I know from my own experience as a fan is that in order to last here, I needed to have my feet, head and heart planted firmly elsewhere. I love Duran Duran, and by that I specifically mean the music. Sure, I’ll say on occasion that I love the band members, but it’s different. I don’t know them that well. The love I have for friends and family is on another level entirely. Sometimes, I fear that some fans mix the two, at the peril of anyone else who happens to be in the way.  I too, recognize the crossroad. There isn’t anything, including being a die hard Duran Duran fan, that should be controlling or confining unless you allow it to be so. 

I wish Ruth well. 

-R 

Hands out, hearts open, hand up

Last night, I went to go see the Quarteto Nuevo at Cal State Fullerton. This is a chamber jazz (!!) group, and they play everything from traditional chamber music, to traditional jazz and even a lot of world music. I loved it. There was a soprano saxophone player, an acoustic guitarist, a percussionist that played a Peruvian drum along with several other percussion instruments, and a cellist. The sax player is actually on staff at Cal State Fullerton, and the best part was that they collaborated with a dance group from Fullerton – and my oldest was one of the dancers. I’ve seen Heather dance thousands of times, but I have to say that last night’s performance was one of my favorite pieces. The name of the piece was called “Women’s Dance”, and the whole idea was about how women support one another.

When I thought about writing this post, I was going to focus on the ideas of improvisation and trust. But, that whole “women supporting women” thing seems far more timely!

I’ve written this blog for seven years and five months now. Yes, I’m counting. Amanda and I have seen the blog go from being unnoticed, to getting a lot of praise, to people openly hating it (and us), and now we’re at a point where we have a lot of readers, many of whom remain silent. Make no mistake, I accept full responsibility for the road the blog has taken. These things didn’t happen “to” me, they happened as a result of what I’ve written or the expectations that people have had of our writing. I’m not apologizing, and I’m not disappointed.

What I am though, is fascinated.

You all have to know that this fandom is weird. It’s bizarre enough to attract a few people to write about it. We’re unique because for the most part, this has always been a female-dominated fandom. Most of us have been fans since childhood. Plenty of us, myself included, can count one (or more) of the band members as our first crushes. The emotionality that goes along with those pubescent dreams tends to fuel a devotion that spans decades. That loyalty is not only crushing to outsiders, but on occasion, it pulverizes other fans that happen to be in the way. We women can be very territorial, and we’re punishing to those we believe to be trespassing.

My argument is simple: there are only five band members. Only the elite few have even the remotest chance of being accepted into that precious inner circle (this is not to be confused with having a shot at a one-nighter). Rather than giving a hand up to our fellow fan, many see this as competition, and push one another down. I see the comment “If I can’t have him, no one can” quite often. Truth be told, pretty much none of us can have any of them. We’re just hurting ourselves in the process of figuring that out. Instead of seeing fandom as an opportunity to find friendship, many times we’re looking for ways we can shove each other out of the way. That might have been fine when we were thirteen and not very wise, but now? What are we really doing to ourselves?

We’re judging. We’re openly promoting ourselves on social media. We’re flaunting our feathers, hoping for attention from males who, quite honestly – have no interest in most of us. Funny how amongst many in the animal world – it is the males doing the flaunting. Maybe, just maybe…we’ve been doing it all wrong.  The band is married to, or are dating models and people who have already figured out how to carve a unique path for themselves in this world. I’m not saying we have no chance at that, but let’s get serious…most of us don’t. Yet we judge. We mock. We take any opportunity possible to make sure that the few who might be sticking their neck out a smidge farther to be seen know that they don’t really matter. Instead of supporting one another and giving a hand up, we’re pushing one another down. When will we learn our lesson?

During a time when the #MeToo movement seems to be plowing full steam ahead, I find that our fan community is nearly the antithesis.

Last night, I watched Heather dance with her group. They twirled in circles, hand out, heart open in celebration of one another. I’d never seen anything quite like it, in many aspects. They grasped other dancers, lifting them joyously with one step, and then being lifted themselves in the next. It is a piece that will stay in my thoughts for a long time.

Once upon a time, Amanda and I had a link page on this site. We wanted to create a sense of community, and yeah – we felt like we bloggers and website owners needed to stick together. Over time, sites went down, blogs closed, and the links were stale or broken. Rather than work to fix it, I took the entire thing down. I think it’s time I work to get it back working.  Daily Duranie is a place of inclusion, and to not have a link page says something far different. If you’ve got a website and want to participate in a link exchange, let me know.

-R