Tag Archives: Health

Too Much To Know

Are there moments of Duran history that you just sometimes think about and wonder what it must have been like? On the positive, amazing side, I think about what it must have been like when the band was looking through record deal offers or when the band waited to hear where a song charted. I cannot begin to imagine what it was like to hear one’s song on the radio for the first time, for instance. On the other side of the coin, there are times that must have been challenging. What was it like? How did they push through? Did they recognize the moment of challenge or did they live in ignorance? Did it help that they had each other?

The first moment like this that comes to mind was in 1986. At this time, the members of the band ended their side projects and were looking to come back together to record another album. From what I know, it seems like Roger informed the band that he was not returning early in the year, in the spring. They did not have to wonder, to question whether or not they could or should rely on him. Andy, on the other hand, seemed to drag out either his decision or his telling them his decision to go solo, from what I have read. Now, before I dive any deeper into this time in Duran history, I want to be clear that I’m not judging Andy or Roger or the rest of the band. I suspect, for example, that the decision for Andy to leave must have been difficult and emotional even if he knew/felt it was the right thing for him to do. After all, he had experienced a lot of success with the band as well as many monumental moments. So, I can even understand if Andy didn’t declare his leaving quickly and early. I bet that he must have had many moments of indecision, which led the rest of the band to be in somewhat of a state of limbo.

Did John, Simon and Nick know that Andy was thinking about leaving? Would that have been easier for them to know or was it better to maintain hope that he would return for as long as possible? Is it better to know than not to know? On one hand, not knowing can keep hope alive that maybe he would change his mind, that he would return. Decisions regarding a guitarist would not need to be made and they could focus on other things, Duran and non-Duran related. So what about knowing? If they knew, they could figure out their guitarist situation earlier and differently, maybe. I’m pretty sure that there was some grieving done, too. Knowing probably meant some sadness, some fear of the future, some anger and frustration. Did this change the feel of the next album? I don’t doubt it. Still, was it better that they knew?

You are probably wondering why now am I asking these questions. Do I have a new fascination with the Notorious album or Duran history from 1986? Am I worried that someone is leaving the band? The answer to all of those questions is a big no. Instead, it is a much more personal situation. As I have mentioned a couple of times on here, I have been dealing with some health related issues over the last few months. At first, I thought the problem was figured out and everything was fine or would be. Then, something else would pop up leading me to wonder if there wasn’t something more going on. This week, after ending a long period of denial, I finally reached out to my doctor who agreed that we should run some tests, which have now been completed. I now await the results. Did John, Simon and Nick want Andy to leave? I suspect not. Was it better when they knew for sure that he was going? Maybe. They could grieve, deal and move on. I guess I am at that point now, too. Is it better for me to know? If the results are what I think they are, will I be facing what Duran faced in 1986 with some grief, fear of the unknown while doing what must be done? Probably. I can only hope to be like them with their determination to move on and continue to be successful.

In thinking about that time period, I have to wonder if it helped them that they were not alone. It happened to all of them and not just one of them. Were they all able to support each other enough to be strong? I often believe that the best part of being a member of a team is that not everyone has to be awesome every day. When one person struggles, the other(s) can be strong with them or for them. Is this what Simon, John and Nick did for each other in 1986? As I learn of the results, I can only hope to have the support of others as I get comfortable with my possible new normal. (By the way, I should mention that what I’m being tested for is not life-threatening but still will affect life moving forward.)

-A

I Live for Concerts and Fandom

Sometimes, it is good for me to have a blog topic in my head ahead of actually sitting down to write.  Other times, it is good for me to be flexible, to go with the flow, to be prepared to react.  I think today is definitely more of the go with the flow kind-of-day.  Social media has pointed me in some direction about where to go or what to write about after reading an article about fandom and taking a little quiz about concerts.

Fandom Is Good for You!

That header is not one I usually read.  More likely than not, I read articles, essays and even books talking about how fandom can be problematic.  Even recently I read a book by a fan giving advice to other fans so that they don’t take their fandom too far.  I’m not even sure exactly what that means.  Don’t get obsessed?  Don’t become a stalker or a groupie?  Don’t have fandom totally take over one’s life?  I don’t have a clue.  My point is simple.  Fans and fandom are usually presented as something weird or negative.  If you are a fan, it must mean that you don’t have a life or cannot have relationships or something.  The stereotype usually means that fans spend all day, everyday at their computers or TVs and don’t move from their basements.  After all, they are so obsessed that there is no way for fans to be productive members of society.  Therefore, when I saw an article today, which you can read here, about how fandom is good for you, I had to read it!

As with any article on fandom, there is a definition of the term.  I liked how this one defined it as, “Fandoms bring people across the world together and unite them based on the things they love most — so it makes sense that they’re good for us.”  This emphasizes the community aspect of fandom.  To me, as someone who has been reading and studying fandom for years, that is key.  I could be a fan of a lot of things but I’m only a member of the fandom in which I have reached out to other fans.  For example, I’m a fans of the Killers.  I adore their music and think they put on a fabulous show.  While, yes, I know other people who like the Killers, I met them through my Duran fandom.  I didn’t seek out to find other fans of the Killers.

The article goes on to explain how fandom makes people feel less lonely.  I have always thought that.  My best friend as a kid loved Duran and I loved that we shared a love for a band together.  My best friend now and I also share a love for Duran.  I definitely feel amongst my people when I’m at a show and can recognize at least 75% of the people around me.  I feel like I’m a part of something huge, something much larger than myself.  I try to explain touring and how going to shows is so cool.  While, yes, the shows are fabulous, but it is also about seeing people who I have gotten to know over the years.  We all come together to see Duran, from, sometimes, all different directions or places.  It is an awesome experience and feeling.

My only complaint about the article is that one quote focused on youth.  Fandom, I would argue, is good for all ages!

Concert Enthusiast

If that article wasn’t enough to bring a smile to my face, I saw people sharing a Buzzfeed quiz, “This Checklist Will Determine If You’re Actually A Concert Enthusiast”.  

This little quiz is pretty easy.  All you do is read through the list and check off the ones that apply  to you.  Simple, right?  Some of the questions asked include if you have been to a concert, how many concerts you have been to, whether you have traveled to see a concert, whether or not you have crowd surfed, etc.  My results?  Here’s what it said for me:  “Geez, what haven’t you done? You practically live at concerts. Waiting outside the venue in the heat or cold is no biggie to you. Heck, you’ve probably been the very first person in line. Venue security must know exactly who you are. You have a ton of fun at concerts and can’t get enough of them. You probably have a ton of shows coming up in the near future!”

I cannot disagree with it much.  I would love to live at concerts as they are my happy place.  Yes, I have waited outside venues.  Heck, I did it just a couple of weeks ago in Oakland and San Francisco.  I’m not sure about venue security knowing me but band security… 😉  Do I have a ton of shows coming up?  I have two.  That isn’t a ton but I look forward to them all the same.

What about the rest of you?  Did you take the quiz?  What result did you get?

-A