Not gonna lie, I’m in a mood…and I’m sick of fan squabbling.
I have a friend named Alana. (Hiya Alana!!) She is battling cancer, and she’s having a rough time. I worry for her. Her battle is far more important than anything I’m going to deal with today or tomorrow, that is for damn certain. I don’t talk to her every day (in fact, it’s been a while), but I make a point to say a prayer for her every night. It isn’t much, and goodness knows who is really listening to my nightly rambles – but I try. I met Alana because of Duran Duran, oddly enough. We are both fans, and she came to a meet-up we had in North Carolina. I loved her (and her awesome hair!) immediately. She’s warm and friendly and kind. She’s the type of person you WANT to be friends with because somehow, you hope she’ll rub off on you and make you a better person.
Well, maybe that’s just me. I can admit my obvious failings and the need for inspiration and guidance!
I bring up Alana not because I want the world to know her business, but because sometimes, I need to remind myself that our fandom is filled with people like Alana. She’s quiet, well-liked amongst her friends, but she’s not necessarily the most well-known Duranie out there. She isn’t loud, and doesn’t really ever complain. I know for sure she doesn’t sit back in jealousy when she sees a photo of her favorite online with another fan. It is doubtful that she makes a note of how many times so-and-so has had the good fortune to run into Simon. I’ve never so much as heard Alana even grumble about missing a concert, much less complain openly about how other people always seem to be able to go.
I’m definitely not like Alana. I’ve done more than my share of complaining. I’ve whined about how the same people always seem to be lucky. You know the ones, they always seem to get front row. They go to shows over and over again with what seems to be a limitless bank account. These fans know people, and they’re invited places that most of us couldn’t even dream about. Some fans are lucky, and damn if they don’t seem far luckier than I’ve ever been. I am by no means a perfect person, much less a perfect fan. The thing is, lately, whenever I start feeling the negativity rise to the surface – I remind myself that friends like Alana are fighting real battles. They’re worrying about things that I can’t even wrap my head around. The last thing I should do is throw my own negativity into the world when friends of mine are fighting REAL battles and never once complaining. Try a little gratitude on for size, Rhonda.
I’m pretty fortunate. I’ve done a lot of things that I never thought possible. I’ve met people like Alana – and there are a lot of them out there. I have a family and friends who love and put up with me. Every time I start to feel that green haze of envy come over me – hey, it happens from time to time – I remind myself of all of those things. I think about the fact that writing this blog has genuinely saved my life. Yes, many fans out there have had far more face time with the band than I have. There are people out there that have been able to turn their fandom hobbies into real careers. I could be jealous about those things. It’s easy to slip into the “Why not me?” mindset. I’m a mom, and a damn good one at that. It’s the one thing I know I do incredibly well.
I’m not perfect. I will openly and loudly admit that I’ve rolled my eyes more than once when I’ve seen the same people win contests, go to shows, be in front row, etc, etc. I don’t know why the world works the way it does. Spending time trying to figure it out, or poking holes in fan theories seems petty – yet I know I’ve engaged in those practices more than once. I know I still slip from time to time, too. I’m no hypocrite – I’m not even remotely close to perfect here. People can change, and I’m working on it. I only know that I spend my time in gratitude for the Alanas in my life far more often than worrying and complaining online about why someone else is going to shows all over the country or is getting front row tickets. I’m a lot happier that way, too.
I’m closing this blog in a much better mood than I started, hence the title of the blog. Maybe there’s something to that whole “gratitude” thing…imagine that!