On a Wandering River

Amanda and I have been trading emails over the past few days, and I realized yesterday that in a week, this little blog will be six years old. Another “birthday”, so to speak, and change is ahead.

Oddly, it is slowly getting to the point where I can’t remember life before Daily Duranie. I’m not entirely sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but it certainly does mean it has become a fixture in my life. Each weekday I wake up, come downstairs, feed the cats and dog, start the coffee and sit down to check in with the world and blog. It is a habit, and something I’ve gotten used to doing now, six years in.  In a lot of ways, blogging has become a sort of journal for me. I try to keep my posts loosely centered around fandom, but as my sister told me over the summer—she also reads to find out what’s going on here with me and the kids. I value my time writing here, and I enjoy the habit!

(We’re fine! They started school yesterday and so far, Gavin is realizing that his senior year is sort of the payoff for buckling down the first three years! More on that another time…)

As I mentioned yesterday though, this year is bringing change to my household. I have spent the last twenty years, nearly to the day, at home with my kids. Prior to that, I worked as a staffing manager for a temporary service.  For me, it was a “job”, not really a career, and it wasn’t something I wanted to do for the next thirty or forty years. My husband’s career, on the other hand, required a lot of travel and late nights anyway, and I recognized one of us needed to be at home.  In the years since, I won’t lie—I’ve wondered what it was like to have a career. I envied Walt, and I still envy a lot of you. Creating this blog has been the closest thing to a career I’ve ever had.  I care a lot about what happens here, and while I haven’t been wise enough to really make it into something that could support either Amanda or I financially, I’ve treated it with that kind of seriousness.  I don’t want to see what we’ve done so far, die. That said, it is time for me to earn a real salary.

So today, I am going to my first job interview in about twenty-two years.  The job isn’t full-time, it’s merely the “office lady” job at my kids’ school.  As most know, my kids are in an independent studies program (more independent for Gavin than my youngest of course!), but the charter school also operates a resource center where the kids go for class. So, should I get the position, I’ll be working in the office. It’s a solo-person job, so I’ll do everything from handling band-aids to ordering supplies and working with the parent committee.  My theory is that while it would be good to help out with the cost associated with sending our kids to college, and possibly have money for a show or two from time to time – I didn’t want to work full-time unless it was at writing.  (working on that goal!)

This will change blogging for me a bit, since I really don’t know how or when I’ll blog on Tuesdays and Thursdays. For those of you in the UK and elsewhere in the world, it is likely that you won’t see blogs on those two days and instead get two on Wednesday and Friday, depending upon timing. I’m just not sure.  The important thing is that I don’t plan to quit.

I have a lot of emotion about this. I don’t do well with change, I guess.  In some ways, I feel like I failed here with Daily Duranie.  I can’t really explain that feeling without going into  lot of detail that I don’t have time to do right now (and while I’m pretty open on here, there are some things about myself I just don’t want to talk about publicly).  All I can say is that I guess I just believed that the more I blogged and the more I wrote, that somehow, someway—something would come out of it and fall into my lap. You see, I really do want a career of my own.  I have friends who remind me that being a mom is a huge career, and while I suppose in some way that’s right—I never intended to be a stay-at-home mom for my entire life. My youngest still needs me though, so I’m glad that this position is something that works, and she is really excited by the prospects of having Mom right at school!

I do believe that the universe has a way of sending signs, and I just keep waiting in hopes that eventually, I’ll know what I should be doing. For all I know, this IS the sign. Oddly enough, as I checked the directions to where I’m going today, it turns out that the main office is about a mile from where my parents lived before my dad passed away.  I have no doubt that if my sister is reading, she’ll smile at that. I did.

So, as I close this and get ready to go, please send some positive thoughts my way. I’m finding that it isn’t even so much as I need this job as it is that I need a change of direction and some new opportunity.  And, I promise the blog will still be here!  🙂

-R

 

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