When Still I Wear Your Crown

I have to admit that I’m not sure how I’m writing this blog. I’m 25 days out before election day and the exhaustion phase has definitely started. My days are beginning by 7 and often ending at 10 with little time for lunch or dinner. Part of me wants to just say, “Okay, kids. I gotta take a little break and help my candidate win a big election.” No one would be upset (heck maybe some would cheer!) and I think everyone would understand. That said, I want to write–not because I have to but because I want to. I have things I want to say. I can’t say that these blogs for the next few weekends will necessarily be awesome but hopefully I can get some ideas out there.

Last week, I got together with a couple of friends both because I wanted to see them and to pass along yard signs for them. During the course of the evening, my one friend shared a little story about this guy she had been seeing. Without breaking any confidence, she told me that they had been getting to know each other for months by just spending time together as friends. She didn’t think too much of it because he had just gotten out of a relationship. Finally, after a year of being friends, he asked her out. Did it go anywhere? No. Apparently, this is a habit of his. He gets to know people then starts to date briefly only to break it off as he did the same thing with other women in his past. My friend went on to say about how she didn’t get it.

As I sat there thinking about this situation, it dawned on me. This guy likes the chase. He enjoys those moments when you first meet someone and that person seems fabulous, perfect, the best match possible. As soon as the dating starts, though, this feeling does not last and the interest goes away. He doesn’t really want a relationship. I tried to explain my conclusion. She still struggled to understand what I was saying. I decided then to provide an analogy. This one, strangely enough, had to do with fandom.

The situation reminded me that there are some fans who love the moments when they fall in love with something/someone new. They get into the latest show or movie and dive into the fan community. Then, as quickly as they fell in love, they fall out of love and lose interest. This, of course, leads to new interests and new fan communities. They only like something when it seems perfect. I’m not judging that. In some ways, I totally get it. Everyone loves those magical moments of early participation in fandom. The Astronaut Era will always be special to me since it was the first time that I really participated in the fan community. At that time, every aspect of Duran and the fan community felt magical.

Does that feeling of magic and perfection last? No. It doesn’t. No band or actor or TV show or movie or book is perfect. Certainly, I have never seen a fan community that is without fault. Fans then have a choice. Move on to avoid the warts, the imperfections or accept them as part of the package. While I understand why fans would choose to leave, I cannot imagine actually doing that. I get wanting to have that honeymoon feeling but I like that I’m loyal. Now, I find myself appreciating Duran’s imperfections. In some ways, that makes my love for them grow. They are human and less untouchable now. I doubt I would have that feeling without committing long term. Plus, I like having a history as a fan, as a Duranie. To me, it makes my fandom special. It isn’t about what is in at the moment but about something I love deeply.

-A

2 thoughts on “When Still I Wear Your Crown”

  1. I agree. I love Duran Duran over 40 years. Here my story. In 1984 Duran Duran had a concert in Chicago I got tickets had to sale them because I was chosen to cheer for the NFL Team the Chicago Bears well practice, so I did not go to the concert. Duran Duran several years was suppose to have a concert in Chicago my heart broke the concert was cancelled. Las Vegas 2019 I went to my first Duran Duran concert 34 years I waited I love Duran Duran more. I am an Duranie for life. I will be going to a Duran Duran concert at least once a year for the rest of my life.

  2. I never imagined the guys as any kind of demigods even as a teenager.So the early days were exciting but learning of their foibles and seeing their all too human personalities only endears them more to me.Little traits that show they aren’t saints because saints are pretty boring.I’ll take Simon’s need to be adored, John’s insecurities, Nick’s pretentiousness and Roger’s shyness any day.I love them for all their authenticity.

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