My friend Laurie used to say that people who studied Psychology wanted to know what was wrong with themselves, but people who studied Sociology wanted to know what was wrong with everyone else. When we were back in college, I used to laugh when she would say that. (Both of us were taking classes in branches of Sociology, oddly enough.) Naturally, she was being facetious at the time, but what she used to say does ring true. At the time, I think I was just learning how to be self-aware, but these days I see things pretty clearly. I know who is in the mirror, and sometimes – I can actually tolerate her! I’m far more interested in how we interact or behave as a community though, which is why this blog exists, and why we took the direction we chose with our book.
A subject was raised in our comments yesterday that I wanted to blog about today. I actually wrote quite a bit in my response – but I wanted to highlight the topic here for further discussion. Read on…
As I mentioned, I’m fighting writers block. (Along with a massive headache which makes reading and typing difficult.) I’m not surprised I’m fighting this wall, given all of the changes my life has taken recently. Stress works in mysterious ways. So yesterday, I offhandedly mentioned that if anyone had blog ideas, to let me know.
One commenter mentioned that maybe we should do some updates on family members of the band. I have no doubt that the commenter was concerned as s/he posted their suggestion – hoping that it wouldn’t be set aflame by Amanda or I, or even other fans. Generally speaking, the subject of wives, and especially kids, seems to be taboo within the community. I think that there are several reasons for this, but the most obvious is that with the kids, they were still under-age, and it somehow felt icky to post photos or talk about them. We have never done any of that here at Daily Duranie, even if we’ve mentioned the happenings of some of the wives from time to time. I know why we have chosen to keep the blog focused on the fans and the band, but what I am curious about – is what drives the curiosity.
Specifically, I’m interested in why people want to know what the kids are doing…why is it important to not only be a fan of the band, but also of anything that Gela is doing, or Yasmin? This isn’t (for me) a sandtrap question – it isn’t a question made out of a judgment call, it’s a genuine question.
There is some basic debate over the relevance of the topic. On one hand, I say it’s irrelevant purely because these other people are not the band, and for us here at The Daily Duranie – we stick to the fans and the band. On the other hand though, I’m not quite so sure. I think in most cases it’s pretty irrelevant as to what the wives and children of the members of Duran Duran are doing. I never became a fan of Yasmin’s or even of Gela’s – not because I don’t like their work, but the fact is – I’m a Duran Duran fan. Period. I love the band’s music, first and foremost. I think it’s fantastic that Gela has had not one but two successful couture clothing lines, and I do think that Yasmin is a gorgeous model, but their line of work simply isn’t of my interest, so I don’t really follow much about them. On the other hand, I know that Saffron, Simon’s daughter, sings – and at least at one time in recent memory, Simon made mention that she was singing a gig near their home and posted a link to her band. Out of curiosity because I love music of all types, I took a listen. I followed Roger’s son James and Andy’s son Andy when they were in the band The Electric City together back a few years ago because I really liked their music. Even so, I am not sure that I would have blogged about either Saffron or James and Andy’s band here on The Daily Duranie on an ongoing basis. I might have made mention just to pass on the word, but I really don’t know.
I think back to one time on myspace where one of Andy’s daughters graciously accepted friend requests from Duranies. She was still young at the time, although I do think she was over 18. Everything was fine until Andy and the band split again – I’m not even sure it had been made quite public yet, and some fans started asking questions. There were some signs that fans were being less-than-respectful about the situation, and within a short time she told fans to F off and blocked every last Duran fan she could. It was an unfortunate situation, but one that was easy to see coming.
This seems to be one of those topics where it would be easy to take what I think is the high road and say “absolutely not”, and in the case of the very young kids (Roger’s youngest or even Dom’s kids), I DO say absolutely not. It’s my mom instinct talking there. As I mentioned in my reply to the commenter from yesterday’s blog – as much as I want to brag about my kids here and show them off – I really can’t, and I’m not even famous. I respect the fact that their parents want to keep them safe, and as I’ve said before, those little kids didn’t make the choice to be born into famous families. Naturally though, a lot of those kids have grown up, and some of them are choosing to be in the limelight now. The same can be said for some, but not all of the wives. What I felt was a hard line is now a bit fuzzier, but I think that in the case of this particular blog – we still say no purely because we focus on the band.
I throw the question out to you readers though. How do you feel about following the wives and kids? Is it any different than following a band member’s side projects, or continuing to follow Andy or Warren now that they’re no longer in the band? What makes you curious about their lives, and where is the line or boundary, if in fact there one exists for you. There are no wrong answers here, and while we agree to disagree, we strive for no judgment. (That’s a reminder for everyone including ourselves.)
I’ll leave with that topic heavy in the air for discussion, and I’ll see you again on Monday!
-R
It might be best to leave the family members be… That may be digging a bit deep…
I agree whole heatedly. The kids did not choose public life. Prying into theirlife because f their parentage…must feel really weird. Do they ever wonder if they get attention for who THEY are, or because of who their father happens to be? I'd think it would have the potential to really screw with a teenage brain. I won't contribute to that. Plus I think it takes being a fan down a creepy road.
I'm generally not interested in what the wives/kids are doing because my interest, like yours, is in what the band is doing not what their families are doing.
However, sometimes, if one of the band members happens to mention something going on with one of their kids, I may be curious enough to dig a little deeper. But I'm only interested in the wives/kids to the extent that something that is going on in their lives directly involves a band member, if that makes sense (ie., like when John escorted his daughter to her coming out ball in Paris). But other than that, I really don't have an interest in what the families are doing in their own lives.
That being said, I do follow JulieAnne Rhodes blog, but that is because I like to cook and have actually gotten some great cooking ideas from her blog!
-Susan-
I'm posting my response to your previous blog here again since it's the same topic:
I understand if Daily Duranie doesn't want to discuss or mention anything about the wives or ADULT children of the band on the blog. However, you said that “We don't follow the kids, the wives or any of the family, because we aren't their fans.” But, Daily Duranie DOES follow the following kids, stepkids, and ex-wives on Twitter:
Atlanta Taylor – Johns's daughter
Zoe Nash Taylor – John's step daughter
Travis Nash – John's step son
Amber Le Bon – Simon's daughter
Amanda de Cadenet – John's ex-wife
Julie Anne Rhodes – Nick's ex-wife
So, if you say you don't “follow” them, they why are you following them on Twitter? Again, I'm not judging you or anyone for following the above mentioned people on Twitter, I'm just wondering why the contradiction? A large majority of Duran Fans follow these same family members and ex wives yet people seem to act like it's taboo to talk about it.
At the NYC/Steve Aoki show this summer there was a little balcony above & to the left of the stage. Different people were sticking their heads out to watch the crowd, and at one point right before Aoki's set I saw a woman who looked like John's daughter. No sooner did I think that when I heard the Duranie behind me say, “I think that's Atlanta” then JT himself appeared behind her. At that moment I felt so skeevy. I mean, I have never sought out info, pictures or articles about the wives (current or ex) or children. However, at some point I must have seen pictures to have recognized this woman as Atlanta. Even though I can't say how I aquired this information… I felt very uncomfortable just being able to name and recognize the child of a band member. Regarding seeking info on wives and children, Heather Todd got it right when she posted, “…it takes being a fan down a creepy road.” It just seems to cross so many boundaries, and IMO is the biggest invasion of privacy a fan can commit.
Nobody is talking about following children. So, let's just set that straight and put it to bed. I'm talking about grown adults, 18 and older or the wives. John's daughter that you saw at the Aoki show is very much an adult (20 years old), she is a model and is constantly tweeting photos of herself drinking (underage) all over and in the clubs of Hollywood. John's current wife is also a fashion designer. His exwife was just on her own tv show. So, I can understand people being familiar with family members like this. It's not like we are talking about some 10 year old child. So, lets keep things in perspective. What I find hard to understand is why Daily Duranie or anyone else would follow Zoe Nash and/or Travis Nash? They aren't well known as working in the entertainment industry? Sure, they are over 21 but why would someone want to know what John's step children are up to? That to me is an interesting question. Anyone??????
I think it is ok to follow the wives & kids if it is done in respect.To follow Atlanta & Amber is quite ok,they are both becoming models,but I wouldn't collect stuff on them.
I used to collect intensely on Yasmin & Renée Simonsen back then ,but model stuff ,cos I thought they were stunning supermodels(Yas is still amazing!!).I even saw Yas & Amanda at a concert in the 90s but never dared to approach & bother them.
Following Julie-Anne can be interesting for the cooking,Yas for her modelling career.One of Simon's daughter is in a band,too.
So I think all that is ok if it done in moderation.
It is complete different story for DD…lol…
Joel
Ok, that's fair. You may follow them on Twitter but choose not to include them in blog discussions. No problem. I respect that choice of Daily Duranie. But, you never did answer WHY you follow John's daughter Atlanta or step daughter Zoe or step son Travis. Can you explain why? Because that sort of falls into the whole sociological aspect of this topic.
Btw, it doesn't take long to figure out who follows whom on Twitter. I'm no computer whiz nor do I have lots of time on my hands (in fact I'm running out the door after I type this). I guess I'm just a very good researcher. 🙂
I think the main problem here is my use of the word “follow”. When I used that term, I wasn't really thinking about Twitter, and I was answering from my own personal point of view. My use of the word “follow” meant being a fan or paying close attention to what they're up to these days, but I apologize for not being clear. That said, we follow a LOT of people on Twitter that I wouldn't say we're “fans” of, nor can I say that I follow many of them that closely.
You are right, we do follow those people on Twitter, along with about 522 other people. As we're following that many people, I rarely if ever even see that we've got tweets from any of them in our timeline. (except for Amanda – I do see hers on a pretty regular basis, and to be completely honest, I like her show so I don't mind seeing her tweets.)
I really have never noticed how many Duran fans follow family members. I don't really care enough to even bother checking. Twitter is very public – anyone can follow anyone. That said, I guess I look at it much differently than blogging about them because Twitter is so incredibly public.
The bottom line is that I'm saying that my original answer still stands – our name is The Daily Duranie, and for our blog, we're sticking with the band. Simple.
-R
Ok, I get your point – but is it the same invasion of privacy to follow them on Twitter? Twitter is public, and you aren't on there unless you understand that anyone, anywhere, can follow you unless you protect your tweets, and from what I can tell – most people don't seem to care.
I'm not really arguing with what you're saying – but I think there might be a difference of opinion in this area that I'm curious about.
-R
Why follow anyone on twitter though?? You know?? I mean, it's the same question really. This is exactly the reason why I don't follow them on my personal twitter though – it's because I don't have an interest!
And for the record – I can't answer your question about Zoe or Travis because of one very simple reason: *I* didn't follow them. Amanda did. I hate using that as a scapegoat which is exactly why I didn't say that earlier, but in this case, it really was Amanda that followed them, as she did with nearly every other person we follow on Daily Duranie. We divide our duties up, and that one is one of hers. I have to laugh because I didn't even know we were following Travis at all – does he ever even tweet?!?
-R
I have zero interest in following what the wives and children of Duran Duran are up to. I agree with some of the people who have posted already that “creepy” would be the appropriate word here.
If they are on Twitter, OK. Follow them if you would like. I'm just not interested in it. There is enough info on the band out there to keep me busy.
I just hope that some people don't take it to far and cause any members of the band to decide that they don't want any part of social media and the fans anymore.
Let me share a story, which might explain our following of people. We recently did meetups and post the events on facebook. We had a number of people RSVP and say that they were coming when they weren't. When I asked some people why they did that, their response was simple. They wanted to support the event. Likewise, in “following” a relative on twitter, which is not invasive, in my opinion, is to just offer a little support. If you read our timeline, you would see that we have NEVER tweeted to any of them.
Now, that we have had to answer this over and over again, why do you follow someone or even read this blog? Can I ask why you chose to ask this question, anonymously?
-A
I didn't know one of Simon's daughters was in a band. Something like that would be pretty interesting to hear about on here.
-Shaz
It's not about if you ever tweeted someone (John's step child for example). The point is that people “follow” others on Twitter to keep abreast of what they say or pix they post – possibly to even make friends. I just don't see how following Zoe or Travis is just a little offer of support. They are not even in the mainstream public eye/business. They aren't selling anything. I mean, Daily Duranie doesn't follow all the people that follow them (on Twitter), so why Zoe or Travis? They aren't “supporting” Daily Duranie. Anyway, I think you are skirting the issue and ultimately, that's fine with me. A question was asked that you obviously don't want to answer. It's just too bad people are afraid to say something honest like, “Yeah, I follow JT's step kids because I'm simply curious.” Oh well.
Sure, I'm curious. We are all curious. You don't have to like my answer or even understand it. That's fine. What is amazing to me is that we keep getting accused of not being honest when you couldn't be honest with us. Why post the comments, anonymously? Why not take ownership over your opinions and posts?
-A
IMO, if a friend/family member of the band uses that relationship to further their own career or gain publicity, they have leveraged the power we attributed to the band and therefore we are invited to share in their public life. If they pose for and allow their photos to be used in a publication, they purposefully and intentionally give us a glimpse into who they are. Now, I'm not talking about camping out in front of Tatjana's flat or following Amber home from a fashion show. But knowing where Electric City will perform next or bookmarking Julie Anne Rhodes' blog doesn't make you a stalker. If you know about the new Skaist-Taylor clothing line only because Gela is JT's wife, that's (probably) fine with Gela! The bigger the audience, the better. Heck, the excerpt JT selected as a “sneak peek” from his book discusses Atlanta and his relationship with Amanda!
If Zoe and Travis don't want followers, they'll set their Twitter accounts to “private.” Though following someone doesn't equate to “supporting” them, you can “support” someone in various, non-monetary ways; letting someone know you're interested in what they have to say by following them is a perfectly legitimate way to show support. How many times have you clicked the “Like” button on Facebook? It does nothing except demonstrate your interest or approval.
In regards to knowing more about the band than you can learn from a Billboard chart, where do you draw the line? Does it make you a voyeur to check out a photo of Nick attending to an art gallery opening…with his girlfriend? Are you a freak for having the fleeting daydream about what it would be like to have been raised in the Yas/Si household? Uh, no. You're a freak if you feel creepy when you do something yet continue to do it. If it bothers you when you find yourself being a bit too interested in one of them, then stop being interested in them! Just because it bothers you doesn't mean it should bother anyone else.
I'd like to add a correction. I admit I follow Luigi Le Bon on twitter. They usually crack me up.
Don't let the trolls get you down. You've been in rough seas. 🙂
Someone asked WHY someone would follow John's daughter Atlanta or step daughter Zoe or step son Travis or insert some another family member of the band here.
I don't write this blog, I am just a regular reader. But if I were writing some kind of daily blog on the goings on of Duran Duran, I might also subscribe to a band member's child's, wife's, ex-wife's, stepchild's, or even their dog's blog or Twitter feed. And here's my reasoning.
I wouldn't be doing it to be “creepy” or because of some other kind of nefarious motive. Rather, I would do it simply because you never know when something might just show up there that directly relates to a band member. Perhaps something you might not have seen before, or some unknown piece of news, or something that might provide an idea for a good blog post about the band (not their families).
So if you think about it in that context, I don't necessarily think that following family members on Twitter or some other public forum is contradictory to what Amanda and Rhonda have said. You can chose not to write or discuss about what family members are up to in a blog, yet still follow those family members' blogs or Twitter accounts. Are there other sources one could look at for potential information? Better sources? Of course there are. But a writer will look at all possible sources for material on a subject when writing because you just never know when something useful might show up.
I agree though, as others have said, that when someone goes from from simply following information that family members themselves choose to publicly put out there, to camping in front of their doorsteps or following them around, then you've crossed a big line and that is indeed “creepy”!
-Susan-
Perhaps on some level, some fans may feel that if they know who the band members keep company with, they feel they know the band members better.
I'm not saying we should follow the kids, but I would point out that some of them HAVE chosen a public life. Amber and Atlanta are both models, that's a public life, both of them have had some high profile modeling gigs. If Saffron is looking to make it in music, she too has chosen a public life. The kids of Roger's and Andy's who have chosen a music career have done so as well.
I'm not sure what Tatjana does and as Tallulah has just graduated from high school, I don't think she has really chosen a career path yet, and of course the younger kids – they haven't really chosen a public life but some of the older ones have.
It seems like they've raised kids with good heads on their shoulders and a good support system, so I don't think anything we do would affect the adult kids very much at this point. It's almost kind of arrogant to think we have that much power. When they were younger, maybe, but at this point they are all so busy with their lives that I doubt we much more than a minor annoyance at best(or worst) and they are all proud of their dads from what I can tell, so probably don't mind the occasional equivalent of “I love your dad”(so long as it doesn't get more detailed than that!). 🙂
Saffron is part of a duo called VIII and The Brave, the other person in the duo is named Benji. She actually did a little interview with Rolling Stone Italy in Nov. 2010. From the song on youtube which was called “The Wind(She Blows You Close)”, they seem to be a folky type outfit.
LOL The Le Bon dWogs are awesome.
Considering the dogs have twitters, somehow I don't think we're being creepy if we follow them. Why put up a twitter if they don't want followers(aside from telling Daddy they miss him and are about to start chewing on his vinyl collection)?
If the dogs didn't want attention, they wouldn't have made sure to use “Le Bon” in their twitter names. It's not like there are an overly large number of Le Bons in the world, least of all little dogs named Cecil, Luigi and Tinka. Clearly they are using a famous name to get themselves more attention. Attention hounds! That's what they are. 😀 (And yes, I'm just kidding…badly, but still kidding)
You are right about what you're saying here, and honestly I don't care who does or does not follow them. I don't even care that WE follow them on Twitter as Daily Duranie. It just doesn't matter to me. Our blog is about being a fan of the band though, and that's why we stick to blogs about Duran Duran. -R
I'd just like to add that I actually sent a follow request to Septimus, the peacock…whose tweets are actually protected for some insane reason. Why did I send the request? Because it's FUNNY. -R