As a general rule, I am not a large event planner. I think that I’ve helped plan three events in my entire life that have been a bit larger than a small gathering – and those things are my wedding, the first convention I attended in 2004, and Durandemonium…which is coming up in just 11 days.
In the case of my wedding, I remember having a big binder, filled with the details. (That’s right Amanda, I had a binder.) I don’t remember being particularly worried about anything besides the budget. My mom and dad weren’t in a position to help with finances at all, and my salary at the time was a joke – so while I think we had about 120 people in attendance, our wedding wasn’t huge, but it was still everything I wanted it to be. I didn’t have a wedding consultant or anything, I just did it all myself – everything from choosing the colors (peach and emerald green. Wow. I had “some amazing taste” back in 1995.) to picking out the invitations, flowers and cake. I enjoyed planning my wedding, and wasn’t at all stressed about the little things that could go wrong – which wasn’t like me at the time, typically I was a ball of worries and nerves – but in this case I just knew it would turn out fine in the end, and it did.
The convention in 2004 was a little stressful at times, mainly because I took my role in the event seriously, and spent every second of my time at the convention in the hotel working with no break. It is my opinion that no one should do that – because quite frankly, we are ALL paying to be there (yes, even Amanda and I paid for our own convention registration), and we all deserve to have a good time. Balance is important, for everyone. It was frustrating to see several people on our committee spend their time at the bars on Bourbon Street while a few of us stayed behind working – but I think that’s a fairly common problem on any committee. Even so, I was not “in charge”, I was merely one of many on a committee. We might have all worked towards the common cause, but I didn’t shoulder the financial burden of it being a success in the same way the main organizer did and I’m certain that she spent very little time actually enjoying herself at the convention and far more time worrying over every single thing that could go wrong. It is no surprise to me that after that event, I saw or heard very little of her again. Planning these sorts of things tends to do that to people.
For this convention, I do feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. Yes, we have a great committee helping us, and we’ve appreciated their backup. Even so, I realize that the success of the event will be equated with my name, or Amanda’s name, for some time to come. We’ve tried to plan a weekend that will be fun for everyone, and in doing that – we just planned things that WE would want to attend. As the time grows closer, and I finished packing up four heavy boxes of all sorts of goodies to send to Amanda ahead of time – I have a much better vision of how things will go. I want to assure everyone: it is not going to be perfect. It IS going to be a great party, though – so come prepared to leave real life behind for a few days. I also am beginning to have dreams about all sorts of crazy things going wrong along the way.
Just last night I dreamt that a taxi came to my house to deliver my husband’s suitcases (no idea where my husband was, since it was just his suitcases that showed up, and this seemed normal to me). The taxi driver didn’t speak English very well, and I couldn’t understand what he was trying to tell me – in fact he was telling me that he was there to take me to the airport, but I didn’t figure that out until later when I went back inside. I took my husband’s luggage in the house, and looked at my plane ticket, realizing that I needed to leave for the airport right then in order to make the flight with a little time to spare. I hadn’t even begun to pack, so I threw clothes into my suitcase (I couldn’t find any of my vintage Duran-shirts, oddly enough) and left. What’s bizarre about that is I put my youngest to bed, and told her that “someone would be home to take care of her soon.” That would never happen in real life – I won’t even go to the mailbox without taking her with me if she’s the only one here at home. I got to the airport with moments to spare, and as I settled in for my flight, I realized I’d forgotten all of my makeup and toiletries, all of the things I needed to bring with me…everything save for a few pairs of jeans and a couple shirts. I woke myself up at that point, and it was comforting to know I was still in my own room, in my own bed, a week and a few days away from leaving.
This convention is for everyone, and that includes the convention committee along with Amanda and I. We’ve planned this event as fans, not as professional event planners – and the events are designed to be just as fun for the convention organizers as they will be for everyone else. Yes, we’ve taken it upon ourselves to do the planning – but we are no more or less of fans these days than anyone. I know Amanda speaks of the work and responsibility involved for us, and it is true – we shouldered that burden when we agreed to start this project – but I still intend to have a good time. If I am not laughing and enjoying myself along with everyone else in attendance, then I will know we haven’t done our job. For the amount of time we have spent planning – the event should run smoothly once we are there. I know better than to expect absolute perfection, every event I’ve planned has had it’s wrinkles. (One entire layer of my wedding cake was completely inedible – it tasted terrible! The hotel at our last convention had hot water issues, as in parts of the hotel had none, and those of us decorating the room for the banquet had no time to go and change because we had forgotten to leave time in our schedule for that), but those things were mostly forgiven. Things happen, and we can either laugh it off and keep it as one of those funny memories, or we can react in such a way that tends to ruin it for everyone else. I suspect we’ll be laughing, and I hope that those of you in attendance will be doing the same.
-R
