Home Again

It’s Monday morning here in California…I got home yesterday afternoon after a really great flight. (I know that’s hard to believe, but it’s true.  I had a window seat, a fair amount of leg room, a really nice guy sitting next to me and some great conversation.   Lastly, and most importantly, the plane didn’t crash – and that alone makes for a successful flight. (yes, my odd sense of humor is still intact.  Funny how getting back on US soil will do that for me!)

I was a walking zombie last night – I swear I felt very much like I did after I’d just given birth where my nights and days were mixed up due to feedings. (I’m sending an apology here to my friend Jessica because I’ve just ruined her game for today…) Not much makes me overly emotional, but yesterday I was a basket case.  I cried when I saw my family waiting for me, and then I cried when I got home.  Then I cried when my husband left for Taiwan for the week. (note to self: next time, don’t plan a trip so close to his leaving.  It. Isn’t. Fun.)  After a really good nights sleep in my own bed though, I feel much better, and I’m thanking the heavens above that I really don’t have an newborn to feed!!!  *wipes brow*

Yesterday, Amanda answered the question of whether the trip was worth it for her.  When I was in England yesterday, I thought I knew the answer with certainty.  Today, I’m not quite as sure.  I suppose to be fair the answer is yes – because let’s face it – going somewhere new and having experiences is always worth it because those collective experiences make us who we are, and who we grow to become.  I don’t regret going.  I’m sad about what happened while I’m there, but I can’t regret at least trying to live out a dream.  With all of that in mind, I’m not sure that I would want to do it all again.  I think part of that comes from the fact that I’m jet lagged, I came home to have a whopping 5 hours with my husband before he left for another trip, and it all seems like a gigantic pain the behind at this point.  That isn’t to say that in a few months, after the sting of this trip is but a distant memory, that I wouldn’t be on board to go back – in particular to experience the rescheduled shows, but today, right this moment – I am really hoping the band doesn’t announce new dates just yet because quite simply, I cannot deal.  That’s on me, and I will work to remedy that situation in the coming days.  I need an attitude adjustment, some rest, and some time with my husband and kids.  Looking VERY forward to Friday when my husband comes home earlier than he’d originally planned from his trip. (As it turns out, he kind of likes me too and misses me, which is much more than I probably deserve after this many years of marriage and this many trips to follow a band!)

Funny thing – well, not really so funny – but typical for me, I came home with a cold.  *sigh*  Out of nowhere yesterday I woke up to have a sore throat.  As the day wore on, the pain grew sharper and by the time my plane touched down at LAX, I was an unhappy camper.  I’m feeling better this morning, but I had to laugh ruefully at myself because my voice today sounds very much like a frog’s.  Nice touch, karma.

I did want to mention a couple things in closing regarding this “2011 All You Need is Now UK Tour That Didn’t Happen For Me”.

* I learned that Simon really can be human, and extremely kind…and humble (Yes, I realize what I just said there, and I meant it).  I was waiting outside of their rehearsal the day that they ended up postponing the O2 show, and the Simon that came outside to speak to us that day was a much different Simon LeBon than I’d ever seen before.  It’s far, far too easy to see these guys on stage and assume that the persona we see up there is really THEM, and I too have fallen into that trap.  I will also tell you, that the person that came to speak to us is much more attractive than the guy on stage (to me).  He’s real.  He has emotion, and he honestly seems to care.  I know it’s not possible to expect to ever see him again, and that’s really a shame – but I get it.   It’s as much about being a showman as it is protecting the real person behind the facade.  I’m not saying I’ll never give LeBon a rough time again, because let’s face it, that’s no fun.  I just might do it with a little extra care and love from now on though.  Maybe.  😉  (but I’m still a Roger girl with Dom on the side….just so we’re all clear.  Thankyouverymuch)

* I made some new friends this week, some of which I may never see in person again, and some of which I really HOPE to see again.  Kitty Amsbry – you are awesome and I hope that we can work together again very soon (We really need to do a convention.  Seriously!)  We have very similar lives, yet very different – and I hope you didn’t mind venting a bit with me.  Bryony – you made what could have been a horrible week so much better, and not because of what you shared or didn’t share, but because you are a spectacular human.  Thank you.  There were countless others that I should mention here, but I think you know who you are and I hope you don’t mind a collective thank you from me without a specific mention of name.  I will not forget your kindness.

* My friendships with others seem to have been forever changed.  I don’t know what to say about that, except that I still have much love and respect regardless of whether we agree or disagree.  Believe it, know it to be true, and know that I am always here.  I’ve never NOT been here and that won’t change.  I just watch from a careful distance.  My friendship is real and not bound by a love for a particular band, group of friends, or otherwise.

* We are still writing that book, and yes – you should take it seriously.  We plan to finish by September.  Our original thought was that we would use these UK shows as a sort of springing platform in order to motivate us to finish.  Naturally, the shows didn’t happen, but we learned far, far more about the fandom this week than we ever really thought possible going into this trip.  I daresay that Amanda and I have far more material and research now than we know what to do with, and so we’re going to finish.  Believe it.  The book may never be on the bestseller list (not even in our dreams as that’s not what this is about for us), but the sense of accomplishment is palatable.  We are so committed to this project that we’ve agreed over the summer, the book writing comes first, blog second.  That means there could very well be days where there are no blog entries, and I apologize in advance for that.  I’ll keep you updated on our progress.  I will say that we have ideas for other books in our heads, and so take it from me – we’re not going to be finished after the first one!

With that, I am going to take advantage of what appears to be a beautiful California Memorial Day to spend time with my kids, and nurse my cold and jet lag.   Enjoy your Monday!

-R