A couple of weeks ago, on May 16, Simon wrote a blog from Manchester, summarizing the MUFC awards. I am not going to pretend that I follow football, but the final paragraph or so of his blog really interested me, and I have found myself going back to the last few sentences over and over again. “And it got me to thinking, that we – who are football’s followers, as opposed to players, are always so eager to place one player above another; one player above all the rest. And is it possible that somewhere in all that, there’s a message which is saying something like: “you’re not like all the others, you’re the one we all approve of. And that must make you… well… more like us”? He ends his blog with “Think about it.” Well, I did. I still am.
I really don’t know exactly what Simon meant for us to grab from that sentence, and part of me worries about blogging too much about this because truthfully, I only know what I understand. I feel just a tiny bit like a student back in school – if I didn’t understand the passage correctly, I might fail in front over everyone, which has always been a bit of a fear of mine. Still, I’ve thought it over each day (yes, each day!), and I think there are a couple of points that could be made, even it’s hundreds of miles from what Simon really meant.
To begin with, I think that when we find someone we truly idolize, there is a natural tendency to find something, some point of character within that person, with which we identify. Now, whether this happens before we really begin to idolize someone or after…I’m not really sure. I suspect it is all part of the process. When I think of the people I idolize, they are really people I do identify with in one way or another. They might have qualities that are similar to me, maybe they come from the same background, and maybe we have even more in common. Maybe it’s really that I reach to find commonalities…and perhaps it’s all of that and more. When I think of Duran Duran as a whole, it is true. I idolized them because a part of me wanted to BE them. Did I think they were really like me though? I must be honest, at the age of 11 or 12 – I don’t think I had much in common. I don’t know about other fans, but I saw them as the pinnacle of what I wanted, and I don’t mean in a “knight on a white horse” sense, but I saw them as this group that was lighthearted and fun that had this amazing lifestyle, traveling the world, etc. (keeping in mind that I was eleven years old at the time – I didn’t see/recognize the not-so-great things then) My life wasn’t all that horrible (far from it), but I idolized them, very much so. It wasn’t so much that I felt they were like me as much as it was that I wanted to be like them in some sense.
I also feel that within that statement, there is a sense that if these guys are more like us, then that somehow elevates how we see or feel about ourselves, as well. If we can somehow identify a part of ourselves with the ones we’ve elevated on this pedestal of approval – then we do feel better. We can’t possibly be as awful as we think, our life can’t be as bad as we really believe – because there’s that same quality in John Taylor or Simon LeBon, and they’re amazing, right? When this band member or that one pays attention to us, that MUST mean we are desirable and wanted and needed. We’re not that bad. I see it every day on Twitter – not only is there discussion over which band member we love best, and an attempt to prove to one another why so-and-so is the most important member; but in that discussion, an earnest effort is made to prove to one another (and ourselves) why so-and-so band member is more like us. (meaning ourselves) I think this behavior is natural, and I see it within myself as much as I do anyone else.
In some ways, I think this is why this band has come to mean so much to so many of us. We began identifying with them during a very poignant and developmental part of our lives. Many of us were barely teenagers when this band first began getting radio airplay all across the planet. During a time when so many of us could barely look ourselves in the mirror, much less really understand who or what we were seeing staring back at us – we began to idolize this band. They were elevated to God-like status in many of our heads, whether that was right, wrong or indifferent. When things are going wrong in our own lives, when life has simply handed us the shaft in one way or another, we look to the band to lead us out, make us feel better, set us right. Not only is the band our escape; but to many of us, they are a source of self-motivation, inspiration and encouragement to keep going. Some need that encouragement daily. Others need it less often…and still others are probably reading this thinking that I need my own head examined.
Perhaps…but maybe you should do as I’ve been, and think about it.
-R
How I wish it was somebody else instead
I’m sitting down to write this on Tuesday afternoon as opposed to early Wednesday morning, because while you’re sitting down to read my thoughts tomorrow…I will be in a line at the newly chosen high school for my oldest, waiting to register her for next year. Even as I type I’m wondering how I will be able to speed through her registration process (it is lengthy and I’m just a little surprised they aren’t asking for familial blood samples on top of the other paperwork) and then make it over to the final parent/teacher/student meeting for my son. It is once again a day where I feel as though my schedule has gotten the best of me – I’m torn in fifty different directions with no real say of my own as to what should happen first. Picture a pinball machine: I’m the metal ball making it’s way down through the pins, hoping for a straight shot to the bottom so that I can quietly retire for the day, but in fact there are a series of bumpers waiting to redirect me a thousand times along the way. Somehow, I make it all work seamlessly. (OK, that is so not true, but it sounded really good when I typed it!)
I think that when you are lonely and alone, your music heroes are a help to actually react, to give a decent response against all odds.
I'm aware that if you can make it, it's just thank to you only,but music does help and you end up thanking your heroes, not yourself.. LOL!!
The guys are people like us: their early 80s stardom was well deserved, but after 1985 they could show the world how “human” they were.
Before I became a Duranie, or ever heard their music, I was, and still am an avid fan of David Bowie. I grew up listening to his music, and though I did not know what he looked like till I was 11yrs old, I knew just by listening to his music that he was an intelligent, and strange person. I think I was 4yrs old when I first heard his music on the radio, and I have loved his music ever since. Because I have always been rather different from those around me, and there was never anyone in my life that I knew personally who was as unique as Bowie, by the age of 6yrs old I had adopted Bowie as my mentor, and teacher. The people around me, my family, friends, teachers, and peers were constantly trying to force me to conform to what they called normal, something they all epically failed to achieve. I realized at an early age that most of the people around me were fundamentally unhappy with their lives, and the reason for this seemed so obvious to me, but none of them could understand why they were so unhappy. What I saw as the reason for their dissatisfaction was that they were all trying so hard to fit in, and be just like everybody else that they either, no longer knew themselves, or they just didn't like the person that they had become in their efforts to fit in. Which is why I decided at such an early age to just be me, and nobody else, and why I fought so hard growing up for the basic right to just be myself. This is why I chose Bowie to be my mentor, not because I wanted to be him, but because I wanted to be like him, a unique individual. That's why I call him Sensei David Bowie, because he is my honored teacher, and I have learned everything that I know about how to be an individual from him. I admire him as an artist, but I am grateful to him for being my teacher, and I thank both him for being there to teach me, as well as myself for having the intelligence to become his student. He has been the light guiding my feet on my own road to individuality, as it has wound through the desolate landscape of conformity, and mediocrity, David Bowie is my Sensei of Strange. So, I guess we all see, and get different things from our hero worship of our favorite stars, for me I got an education that has stood the test of time.