“We all have our Ally Sheedys, the things we cling to and do not leave behind at the bus station. All men have Ally Sheedys and mine is Stephen Patrick Morrissey. he has devoted his life and mine to making me a lamer, dumber, more miserable person. I can’t leave him behind, because I’ve tried, and yet he follows me everywhere I go. Six years on my trail? I should be so lucky to get off that easy” (page 183 – Kindle edition)
I should explain that the Ally Sheedy reference here is to the scene at the end of St. Elmo’s fire where Rob Lowe’s character leans into Judd Nelson, takes his arm and tells him not to let Ally Sheedy’s character go, even though we’d just seen the part where Ally and Andrew McCarthy’s character are creating their own steamy shower scene.
….
“I broke up with Morrissey after the second Smiths album, Meat is Murder, came out in the spring of 1985, because he was just….too much of a jerk. I was desperate to get out of the humdrum town Morrissey had helped me build in my brain. My lie had gotten totally grim – I just sat around my dorm room in a depressive stupor, too distracted by gloom to get any work done, too afraid to shave or answer the phone or go outside. Morrissey had turned into a lame self-parody, and so had I.
I have to admit, it was acrimonious. I went from idolizing the Smiths to despising them. Shit got ugly. I blamed them for all my problems – and if that didn’t make me a true Smith’s fan, what could? Hell, Morrissey had taught me everything I knew about blaming my bad personality on people I’d never met. In a way, hating him was my sincerest possible act of fandom.” (page 187 – Kindle edition)
…
“Then, just when I’d gone to all the trouble of purging the Smiths out of my system, they did something really offensive, which is they got good again. The first night my friend Martha played me The Queen is Dead in her room, I was consumed with rage at the fact that it was so unmistakably, ridiculously great, and the fact that Morrissey was making fun of himself and doing a much better job of it than I could. Morrissey had beaten me to making all the changes I wanted to make – he was now funny, self-deprecating, apologetic about what an asshole he’d been to me, and (unfor-fucking-givable) blatantly trying to make me like him again. Bastard.” (page 189 – Kindle edition)
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just so I don’t get into trouble here…please see the end of the blog for the proper Works Cited.
I know what Sheffield writes here. I know it all too well at this point. Fandom is an interesting phenomena, because you can go from loving something with a sincere and pure intensity to thinking that same thing is absolute crap in the time it takes to make one album. One book. One movie. One marriage. You get the idea. I think we’ve all experienced that moment of absolute defeat when we see, hear, witness something from an idol (in the case of this blog: Duran Duran) that just pops the balloon of joy, or takes the wind completely out of our sails. I’m betting that most of you, if not all of you, can name a moment or two where that’s happened. I know for me, I’ve called the band pretty much every name in the book – and I reserve the very best ones for when one of them really pisses me off! I’m not the kind of fan that sees everything as a “good thing”. I don’t turn a blind eye when they make idiotic decisions, and I do call a spade a spade. Then again, I’m not the type of fan that hates more than I love, either. I’m in the middle somewhere, until something sets me off in one direction or another.
A good example is Red Carpet Massacre. I won’t rehash the album, that’s not the point – it’s that for many, it is indicative in a sort of crossroads in their personal fandom. Many loved the album, so for them – it was just a reaffirmation of sorts. For others, within one listen they knew it wasn’t for them. Some disliked it, some flat out hated it. Others felt it as a personal attack. I can’t tell you how many times I myself read the words “The band didn’t make the album as an attack on anyone – you can’t take it personally. Why get so mad about it? If you don’t like it, so what?” At the time, I knew what they meant. It did seem rather silly to get so worked up about one single album. I mean, no one forces us to be fans, right? We make the choice ourselves every time we buy new music, go to a message board or buy concert tickets. My problem at the time was that I did feel let down. I did take the album personally, as much as I knew in my head that I shouldn’t. It’s just music. Isn’t it?
At the time, I felt very much as though the band purposely took a direction on that album many of their long time fans from way back when wouldn’t be able to follow. I think it’s fair to say that the purpose of that particular album was to help find some new blood to fill the fan base – and yes, I really do believe they were trying to write hits as though by having some magic formula of “producer” and guest “artist” (the quotes there are intentional – my blog, my opinion, thankyouverymuch) they would strike the immediate and profound motherlode. In that moment, yes – I felt it really was personal, and I was pissed. Just as Sheffield says he went from “idolizing the Smiths to despising them”, I felt the same about Duran Duran, and it didn’t feel good. Part of me hated them, and the other part of me missed them terribly. Talk about conflicted with a huge side order of narcissism! (because yes, I really did believe it was all about me. Wasn’t it? :D)
Just as I was getting used to pretending that my love for the band would indeed end at Red Carpet Massacre, I went to shows again. As I’ve mentioned previously – I’d ignore the songs from RCM for the most part. I would be thoroughly annoyed that the band would still be good live, but in a large way, the band had lost a lot of that unique “luster” it once had. I came out of most of the shows I went to during the Red Carpet Massacre “era” feeling like I do when I go to see INXS or perhaps even Johnny Vatos and Friends; the shows are good, I really love the songs and I’ll go again and again and again to see them, but somehow…it’s just not quite the same.
Flash ahead to around December of last year when I first heard All You Need is Now. I have to tell you – the emotional toll that one song took on me was almost unfair. I know what Sheffield means when he says the Smiths did something really offensive by getting good again. I had just gotten myself to the point where I felt that after this book was written, I could probably walk away and feel good about doing so. I would always love Duran Duran, but I knew that I would get my closure and be able to end this incredibly long saga in my life. The band of course had other plans. When I first listened to All You Need is Now – I cried. I almost never cry. That stupid band had the audacity to make me like them again. How rude!! Of course, I didn’t post any of those feelings (of anger and injustice!) on the blog. Even I have the good sense to keep some of my thoughts to myself. I listened to the album a lot, and realized what I should have realized all along: I will never be “rid” of Duran Duran. They follow me where ever I go, whether it’s to the grocery store (since when is Duran Duran muzak?), to the hospital (I heard “Hungry Like the Wolf” as I was giving birth to my youngest), or when I’m walking around the mall – convinced I’m hearing “Sunrise” everywhere I go. I can’t be rid of them even if I want, because they are imbedded in my youth, my young adult stage, and now my middle age. They’re kind of like stalkers that way.
-R
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Works Cited
Sheffield, Rob, Talking to Girls About Duran Duran: One Young Man’s Quest for True Love and a Cooler Haircut, Copyright July 2010 Penguin Books Ltd, London.
See, now, I don't feel so bad when I admit that I cried when I first heard All You Need Is Now. For me, it wasn't just an affirmation that Duran Duran was REALLY back, but it was an affirmation of my life (if that makes sense).
And the goosebumps I got when I first listened to the album in its entirety? Irreplaceable. And I was about ready to write them off and call it a day. Damn them.
I had to laugh when Rob Sheffield called The Smiths “bastards”….mainly because I may have used that term a time or two. Same situation. Different band. 😀
Don't even talk to me about what I was like when I listened to the entire album. I had to do that in the privacy of my own home without witnesses (that's a feat in and of itself)… 🙂 -R
i could really only repeat what both Rhonda and Robin have said, so i'll skip that.
i do want to say that i wish more people had read Sheffield's book with the same perspective you did, Rhonda. i loved it because i could relate to it on so many different levels. from what i read on the boards, etc., many Duranies didn't like it because the entire thing wasn't about Duran.
or was it??
(Part 1 – apparently my reply was too long!)
LOL, OK, I get where you are coming from. While I am not one who ever hated anything the band has done, I HAVE been upset with stupid moves/marketing decisions. I am aware, though part of that problem was the label not letting them release the singles they wanted or whatever. I KNOW the band wanted to properly release Nice as a single. Nick said as much after Jimmy Kimmell. The WAY they have done things and the timing or lack thereof on getting things out has been a personal pet peeve of mine. And while I actually LIKED a lot of RCM, I know they managed to screw up that as well due to poor single choice. All the press hype about them working with Timbaland/Timberlake went out the window when it took so many months to release the damn single that Madonna beat them to it, even though her stupid song was recorded after theirs. Also, everyone was expecting a song you could DANCE to. They blew it. I was angry. I still love much of the album and hearing the whole thing live was a highlight of my life. My only trip to NY, which consisted of flying in on a red-eye, taking a shuttle to a hotel, catching a nap, getting some food, getting ready to go to the show, hanging out afterward with some Duranies, getting a little more sleep (not much mind you) doing it all over again the next day and night, then staying up all night and getting a shuttle back to the airport and flying home, without seeing ANY sights, and I would do it all over again if I could! Duran Duran live is just that good.
I also get what people mean about wanting to cry when they listened to AYNIN for the first time. The small snippets (some of which were still roughly mixed) that Mark played to tease the album did NOT do it justice. Many of us were worried that if this album was not good, it could mean bad things for the band. And then we all heard it. A large collective sigh was heard around the globe! It was fucking fantastic! Some songs destined to be INSTANT CLASSICS. Duran Duran's SOUND was back. And to those who say it is all early 80s, I am sorry, but I CLEARLY hear much of their 90s sounds coming through as well. Some tracks reminiscent of Electric Barbarella and parts of the Liberty album (FAR underrated, in my opinion). I can't TELL you how much I love this album and I place it in my top 4 along with DD, Rio and the Wedding Album, which I always loved for its diversity and range. To me, that album shows just what DD is capable of. Everything from dance to world style music to fun funky silliness to a classic sort of underground rock sound. AYNIN is right up there. I will never get tired of the album, even if I do occasionally skip the first track to get to the ones I don't hear as often. But that's just me. I almost always skipped over the singles to get to the meat of an album. As for those singles, I love remixes to keep it fresh and this album has had some very nice remixes done so far.
(Part 2 – sorry, I had a lot to say, lol.)
I have been a Duranie since 1981. I have through the years had people actually ask me, “You still like them?” “You mean you haven't grown out of them, yet?” “Oh, did they get back together?” “You mean they are STILL around?”
I do my very best to let them know the facts and I try to impress upon them just how good this album is and urge them to check it out. I have no idea if any of them have taken my advice, but I will never stop trying. I knew back in 1982 that Duran Duran would always be a part of my life. I had gone from simply being a fan to being aDDicted forever.
A side note of sorts, I have not yet read that book, though I would like to when I can afford to pick up a copy. I am still catching up on re-releases and trying to find money for shows and the DD music is more important to me than anything. I DO have Duran Duran Unseen, which I LOVED. I saw a lot of complaints there was not enough of them and too much of the “scene”. I actually enjoyed that. It gave a bit of the sense of what life was like there in that moment and I enjoyed feeling like I was being let in on some of the experience. It also was like a visual history of the first chapters of the Notorious book. Like a companion piece. I understand why you would enjoy the book you just read because of the whole slice of life aspect. It's all good to me.
This is very special… It shows how music is emotional. I often talk with people about it. A musician in my family can just talk listen and play classical music and when I talk about DD he said one day: comparing DD to Bach is like comparing a house to a cathedral… And I answered: music is about feelings and if you can give feeling with 3 notes it is as good than with 100 notes.
But at the same time your feelings toward the band in the RCM times make me wonder. Are we too emotional an not fair with those guys? They are people like us. In all that RCM history they were manipulated and forced to do something they didn't want really. It's terrible. I can't imagine how they could have feeled after being the greatest in music in the 80's after doing so much powerful songs in the 80's and 90's having to accept to be manipulated by Sony and the Timbs must have been almost unbearable. But they are like us, humans and have to work to live and when your boss say that you have to do your work that way sometimes you have to do it that f… way even if you don't like it and if you know that is the wrong way. RCM is a great album the songs are awesome! Just very poorly produced in way that couldn't fit DD. I dream of that same album produced by Ronson I assure you it would be completly different and one of the best of DD collection. I understand you were mad and angry I was too. Not toward the band toward the situation the destiny and people that let the band down when they were still doing great music like Medazzaland, Pop Trash and Astronaut. The sales went down and they finished in a situation judged inadequate too produced great music by themselves. Sony find Timbaland the master of selling record and that could just lead to a terrible explosion. Now they are alone no major company backing them doing great music with a real musician as producer, but don't forget that they are still fragile. I believe that in all that strory we can learn few things, the first one being not judging too severely they others especialy if we love them. They say that love is close to hate… When we love someone so profundly we can be more critical and irrational and that love can be turned in hate easily if the person or the band disapoint us. But who do we love the most by doing that? Them or us?…
Ouf… I feel like a preacher today 😉
Pat
Much to respond to (which I love!):
@Jessica – when I first started to read the book, I had mentioned to you in the UK that I didn't quite get it, mainly because I think the title kind of threw me off. I did expect more Duran Duran references to begin with, so I do get where people were coming from. That said, once I got to the meat of the book, I really *got* what the author was trying to do. Rob Sheffield is 4 years older than I am, and he has a much, much wider history with music than I do, but I really did identify with the book on so many levels. I highlighted a lot of it because I plan to use the notes as blogging points later on, and I might review or discuss the book as a whole – I really enjoyed it!
@MissNovemberTuesday – Never apologize for leaving a long comment!! 🙂 That's the thing with music – two people can hear the same song or album and walk away with very different emotions. I'm sure that Rob Sheffield recognizes that there are many Smiths fans out there that actually liked Meat is Murder (my husband being one of them)…just as I know that there were Duranies that loved RCM. I made peace with that a long time ago, I'm just not one of those people. It doesn't mean I'm wrong, and it doesn't mean I'm right – because there really is no wrong or right answer here – it's just the way we feel. The reason *I* cried when I heard AYNIN had nothing to do with a feeling of relief though, for me it had more to do with hearing that the band I'd thought I'd lost or left behind had come back for me. 🙂
@Pat – I don't think feelings can be right or wrong, justified or not – they just ARE. I understand what you're saying, but the plain and simple fact here is that many fans simply walked away after hearing RCM. They completely wrote the band off, and you know – I can't really blame them. It has nothing to do with whether or not they were “real” fans. It's music. If you like it, great. If you don't, and you don't feel like you can support the cause, you walk away. My point (and I believe it was Sheffields as well), is that I did feel a little betrayed at the time. I don't want to hash the details of the album because it's been done over and over, but I felt betrayed, whether that's justified or not. I can't say that if the same situation arose I wouldn't feel the same way. I'm not sure I agree that we should all learn not to judge so severely – music creates emotion, whether that emotion is positive or negative. It does hold cause for judgement, and while I didn't enjoy going through that process – as John says himself, you gotta trust the process! 😀 -R