The Man Who Stole a Leopard – The Daily Duranie Review

The Daily Duranie reviews of All You Need is Now continues with track 7, The Man Who Stole a Leopard!

Amanda’s take:
Musicality/Instrumentation:  Ah, this song begins in such a hauntingly, beautiful way that reminds of the best goth songs that have ever been written.  The one layer quickly becomes many with sounds and elements that remind me of the Chauffeur, Tel Aviv and even a bit of Tiger Tiger.  Within these first 30 seconds or so, I know this is either going to be the cheesiest rip-off of early Duran or it is going to be genius.  Then, Simon begins to sing and the bass enters the picture.  If the very interesting sounds in the beginning didn’t hook you as a listener, this moment does.  The music provides this all-encompassing atmosphere that works in combination of the lyrics and vocals to tell a story.  Then, if you didn’t think it could get better, strings enter the picture, which enhances both the beauty and the haunting atmosphere.  Of course, about 2 and a half minutes into the song, the tempo increases as the story nears its climax and conclusion, which keeps all of us glued to our stereo, iPod, computer, or whatever.  The end slowly dives into this newscast, which provides the conclusion of the story.  This conclusion is followed by old time record sounds at very the end, which leads us to believe that this could be a story decades old.  Or is it?

Vocals:  I honestly cannot remember a time that Simon sounds as good as he does here.  In order for this song to not be cheesy, Simon had to commit vocally to the story of a man in love with a leopard, or a woman, or some other obsession.  If he didn’t sound as emotional as he does, it wouldn’t be believable.  The only way that this song works is to make this love seem all encompassing, intense, inescapable and that is all on the vocals.  While Simon demonstrates this dark love, guest vocalist, Kelis, definitely adds to it, exponentially.  Her voice is not at all what I had expected for this song but is perfect.  She definitely gives voice to the object of the man’s love in a way that makes the listeners understand its level of intensity.

Lyrics:  Like the previously mentioned music and vocals, the lyrics could have made or broken the song as well.  The music and vocals may sound hauntingly beautiful, but if the lyrics weren’t well done, the whole thing could fall apart into a laughable mess.  Instead, the lyrics are spot on.  From the very first lines of, “Do you know where we are?  I’m longing for the dark,” we are caught.  Who is the we?  Why is the dark so important to make someone not just want it but LONG for it?  Then, the chorus is perfection in that it adds another twist to the story of the man obsessed with a leopard or a woman or something else in saying the following:  “thought that I could resist but the leopard in you silently preyed on me.”  Is the man the victim then?  A victim of what?  The object of affection?  His love?  The intense emotions?  Then, of course, the female vocal and lyrics work to respond to the man giving a voice to the object of obsession.  As the song nears the end, Simon pleads to keep his secret and we find out that the secret gets out, which causes him to lose this love.  The newscast at the end leads the listener to understand how utterly painful this separation is going to be since the man doesn’t want to leave the “leopard’s” side.  He won’t just experience sadness but a grief that cannot even begin to be explained by words.  Amazing stuff.  Genius, in fact. 

Production:  I feel strongly that the production on this song had to be precise in order for it to maintain that extremely delicate balance between cool and silly, between beautiful and corny.  The newscast had to come in at the right moment and sound the right way.  Kudos to Nina Hossain, who is brilliant here.  The female vocal had to sound a certain way and had to be at a certain volume in comparison to Simon’s.  In my opinion, they achieved success with this track.  Every aspect seemed to be in place as it needed to be.

Overall:  I have to admit to being completely worried about this track before I heard it.  Goodness, the name alone is ridiculously long and silly.  I felt certain that it would turn out to be nothing to take seriously.  Maybe it might be fun for the fans, like Bedroom Toys was on Astronaut, but that no one would think much of it in a couple of months.  Then, I heard the song and it completely blew my mind.  Every person involved with this track committed themselves 100% to do the song the way it needed to be done.  No one seemed to be worried about how cheesy it seemed, musically, lyrically, or vocally.  This lack of self-consciousness, in my opinion, made this song into something completely magical.  It tells the story of a tortured love affair in such a beautiful, different way.  I never expected Duran to be able to do something like this and I continue to be impressed every time I hear it. 

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Rhonda’s take:
Musicality/Instrumentation:  As soon as the music starts, I feel as though I’ve been here before…a very long time ago.  There’s no denying that this song certainly steals a moment or two from our beloved Chauffeur from years gone by.  Those keyboards must have been thrilled to have gotten a good dusting off for this song.  My first listen was one of almost disgust (couldn’t help but think “They redid Chauffeur?  What the F* for?!?)..but that only lasted for a brief moment because along with the initial “Really?!?”….I couldn’t help but be intrigued.  I’ve never been a huge fan of ballads (or The Chauffeur for that matter, if I’m going to be honest to a fault here), so for me I had to fight the urge to skip ahead.  The fact is, the similarities between this song and Chauffeur end almost as soon as they begin, and the listener is beckoned to listen in – very similarly to the way we Americans are glued to our TV’s during a national crisis….or a freeway chase.  Nick’s keyboards have never sounded more like pure satin than this song.  The music tells a story, complete with a string section that feels like it’s ALWAYS been a part of Duran Duran, it’s so natural.  True, the instrumentation on this song isn’t necessarily varied, and I’m certain that fans will find fault with Nick taking the helm yet again, but if keyboards ever sounded organic, it would be here.  It’s funny that as “unnatural” of a song such as this one (both in subject and in instrumentation) could sound so completely natural and real.  At the end of the song, the ending music we hear is that of a violin playing in a similar fashion to something we’d hear in a comedic silent movie soundtrack or background music…giving the necessary comedic edge to the entire song.  Talk about irony… Unreal!   Is this really the same band that wrote Night Runner?  Really??

Vocals:  Simon’s work on this album is near perfection, and this song is certainly no exception.  His voice is absolutely perfect here.  I can see where it would be very easy to lose the emotion in his voice, and it would be very easy to sing with almost boredom, but there’s none of that here.  I don’t think LeBon has sang with as much conviction since Ordinary World – and even then, I don’t believe OW can really compare.  I can hear the hope, love, pain and even torture in his voice – truly perfect.  Other vocal performers should ASPIRE to sound like Simon, and I wish them luck.  Kelis does the best vocal work of her career (and completely unlike her own work, in my humble opinion) on this album.  I hope she’s heard the final version because she should be proud.  I wouldn’t have even guessed it was her…and as a result it’s caused me to go back and relisten to her albums. (thanks to my oldest for giving the old lady – me – a good teachin’.)

Lyrics:  If a listener didn’t see or hear the genius in Duran Duran before, all they would need to do is read the lyrics to this song.  I don’t know whether it was Simon, Nick or some collaboration thereof that is responsible for the poetry that is contained in this song – but it’s genius.  The entire time you’re listening, it’s easy to assume the song MUST be about a woman.  This is Duran Duran.  Girls on Film?  Chauffeur?  Of *course* it’s about a female.  Then we get to the end of the song, and we hear none other than Nina Hossain giving a faux news report about a Leopard that had been kept in a cage by a man on the New Jersey shore.    What?!?  Or is it really about a leopard and a man at all?  Fascinating.   As I have said before, this song has just the right amount of wrong to make it interesting and unlike anything the band has ever done before.  Brilliant.    I’m sure other critics will cast this song aside as complete ridiculous and meaningless rubbish, which just goes to show that they still have no idea what the hell they’re doing.  🙂

Production:  As I’ve said before, I have a difficult time with this category.  I’m a classically trained musician with very little studio experience, and while I’m well aware that the sky is literally the limit as far as what can be manipulated in a studio these days – this song sounds nothing of the sort to me.  I can really only call it organic, which in my head is the exact opposite of the outcome of poor production.  I realize that Kelis’ voice is somewhat manipulated to sound a bit muted – but I believe that is the intention, since her voice is really meant to be the “thoughts” of the leopard.  Beautifully, beautifully done.

Overall: This is the one song off of the album that knocked me completely off of my feet.  I have to admit, I didn’t think the band had this type of songwriting in them anymore – it’s the type of song that comes along once in a career, and I believed that moment had long since passed.  It’s the perfect blend of their roots with a little bit of what they’ve learned along the way.  It’s not a song that is going to have anyone jumping up and down on their chairs at shows, and it’s an easy song to overlook or skip because I suppose it could seem boring to many – but I implore listeners to really give it a good and and intense listen.  This song has all of the components that we know and love to be Duran Duran.   Absolutely mindblowing.

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