Earlier this week, I had some ideas for blog posts pop in my head. As usual, I wrote them down and figured out when I should write about what. Yet, I don’t think I can right now. I don’t think I can today. This week has been rough for everyone, I think. Even in my own personal life, work related issues have popped up adding stress and this is on top of everything that has been taking place across my country from the continuing toll of COVID-19 to more evidence of police brutality and systemic racism to rising authoritarianism and those who would like to help it along. Even my city, which normally, is the model for peaceful protests experienced violence and destruction of property last night. People are hurting.
All of these happenings have left me shaken. Fearful. Distressed. Normally, I welcome distractions, including and, most especially, ones surrounding fandom. They remind me of what life could be like. Life can joyful and full of fun. I could have the 40 minutes or so of listening to John Taylor interview his guest of the week to forget about the horrors going on around me. Maybe I could focus on new music as I listen to the latest episode of Duran Duran radio with Simon and Katy. Unfortunately, I’m so disquieted that I’m struggling to do anything. I found myself glued to the TV for hours last night as I watched local coverage of…whatever was happening downtown with the police, with onlookers, with demonstrators and with outside agitators. Even now, I keep looking at my to do, trying to motivate myself, but like turning to fandom, I am failing to check anything off. Instead I stare off into space, uncomfortable in my own skin, and more fearful for the future than I have ever been.
So while I desperately wanted to be able to write a blog that would distract myself and maybe help fellow Duranies to escape the world for a few minutes, I don’t think I can. I apologize. Hopefully, by the next time I blog, I won’t be as worried that the country is standing on the edge of a cliff, leading to more social unrest or worse, much much worse. Until then, please take care of yourselves and stay safe.
-A
