I have been thinking a lot about the word, “need,” as opposed to want, wish, hope for, etc. I think about it in terms of my job. What do I really need as a teacher? What do I really need as a fan? What do I really need as a person? This sounds like an easy question but I have decided that it is far more complex than what it initially appears like.
Let’s take fandom. After all, everyone reading this can probably relate to that the most. As news snippets have come out about the writing and recording of the next Duran album, I find myself thinking back to the time in between All You Need Is Now and Paper Gods. I had such an amazing time with AYNIN that I felt a weird sense of desperation. I wrote about my anxiousness about what I thought the band should do in between albums. I probably wrote about playing more shows or releasing something, anything in between. Did I need the band to do that? I probably thought I did then but I’m not sure if that is really what I needed.
Did I suffer immensely between there was a big chunk of time in between All You Need Is Now and Paper Gods? Suffer? I don’t think so. Yes, I would have wanted something from the band to keep all of the awesome feelings continuing but I didn’t *need* it. My fandom remained as did many others’. I might have written about how I thought the band needed to do something to keep their fans loyal to the band, to keep fandom alive. Did some fans leave? Probably. Would some of them have left anyway? Maybe.
Interestingly enough, as I thought about how I thought I needed the band to do something to keep interest, I never once really considered what the band actually needed. Maybe they needed a break or time away from each other. Perhaps, they needed to spend time with friends and/or family. In thinking about this, I realize that my “needs” might be different from their “needs.” Could this happen in real life, too?
As I think about my job, I know that there are some aspects that I really do need to have in place. How do I know? Simple. I know that if I did not have these elements that I would be looking somewhere else. I’ll give an example. I need to be part of a team that I love. I have taught in buildings without being a part of a team. It was lonely and emotionally tough. Now, of course, some people out there might argue that this is still a want rather than a need. I guess it depends on how it is defined. Would I die without it? No. That said, I would leave without my teams. I need it for job satisfaction and my happiness on the job.
What about my needs in my life? I have been thinking hard to determine what I really need. Much like my job, I know that there are some parts of my life that I really require. What I need, though, in my life or my job might be just like the situation with Duran. What I need might be the opposite of what they need. How do I navigate this difference in need? I’m not sure. This I know. I cannot be mad or upset if other people or Duran (as the case might be) have different needs than I do. No one should be blamed for that. At the same token, I think it is totally fine if there are different needs. It doesn’t mean that they are wrong or that I’m wrong. So, if there is something I really need with my fandom or my job or my personal life, it is okay to seek out what I need while I need to be understanding that others might feel differently. It is a weird balance that I am trying to achieve. I know this much. It means cutting Duran and others in my life some slack and asking for others to cut me some slack. Maybe this is my weird attempt at a kinder, gentler version of myself. Perhaps, it is just showing that I’m trying to learn and to be more understanding while asking for the same from others.