I am happy to report that I am, indeed, alive. A blog post is long overdue. I know. Part of me (a big part of me) wants to apologize but I’m fighting that. There are no requirements about when to post or how often to post or even what to chat about. Speaking of topics, I don’t really have one for this blog. There is no thesis, no main idea, just me sharing some thoughts as this Thanksgiving weekend comes to a close.
As I have tried to re-orientatate my life and how I spend my time, I have thought a lot about where and how fandom fits in, what I want from it and what I want to avoid. Before I dive into some of those thoughts, I want to preface that these are my thoughts right now, currently, at the end of 2022. They might be very different than what they were three years ago or ten or even twenty and that is okay. I can change. It may even be healthy to make a change.
It used to be that fandom was something that felt all-consuming. I wanted to read, eat, breathe, think, feel all things Duran all the time. In fact, I wanted a lot of my life to center around my love for Duran Duran. A big chunk of my time, my money, my energy was spent on this fandom and our fan community. There wasn’t anything wrong with that–I’m just acknowledging. Even though I had a super tasking job in teaching and a “hobby” that became full-time when working in politics, I squeezed in Duran and fandom. If an article came out, I found the time to read it. If a new product was made available, I found a way to buy it. If an event popped up, I tried to get to it. Fandom provided joy and escape, in many ways. That being said, there was a dark side to it as well. Underneath it all, I felt it necessary to “keep up” even if it added more to my overflowing plate. In addition, part of me really felt like I had to do all of those fandom related things to fit in, to prove my love and devotion, to make myself liked and accepted. While a lot of that had to do with me and I fully acknowledge, some of that is about the nature of fandom and our fan community, specifically.
I cannot do that now. More importantly, I don’t want to. I want to just enjoy fandom, rather than trying to keep up. That is definitely how I’m approaching this blog and the social media accounts connected with it. If I feel like posting things, I am going to. If I don’t, I won’t. Sometimes, I want to post things and simply won’t due to time constraints or knowing that pushing myself isn’t good for me. None of this means that I don’t love the band as much as I used to. It is about finding my own balance.
I have to admit that it feels good taking any and all of the pressure off of fandom. I can pop in and enjoy and leave when I need to. Of course, I still see all of the same discussions over ticket prices, touring locations, setlists, etc. At times, I have thoughts about those things but I have found that the more I think about them the less happy I am with fandom. So, when something starts to bug me, I just let it roll off of me and move on. Now, of course, I recognize that this is VERY different than how it used to be, how *I* used to be. Again, this new approach might be disappointing to some, many, most, or all and that’s okay. This is what works for *me* RIGHT NOW. Maybe I will feel differently in a few months or maybe not. I just know that I need fandom to be in balance with the rest of my life AND I need it to be a place of nothing but joy and without pressure.
With that, I am still thankful for fandom.