Out of seemingly nowhere last week, I decided to listen to the entire discography of Duran Duran. Mind you, it has been months since I listened to any Duran Duran, outside of what I needed to do in order to write the reviews Amanda and I have been working on.
For a while after the Paper Gods tour, I stopped listening to that particular album. I tend to do that after an album cycle. It’s not personal—I mean, I like Paper Gods, but I just get to the point where it’s time to put it away for a bit. So, I did. And, as I usually do between albums, I tend to take some time away from listening to a lot of Duran Duran. Then we started packing and moving…and the next thing you know Covid-19 hit. That’s when I actively decided to stop listening for a while. I didn’t need the memory of what I was missing. But out of nowhere last week, I was ready.
One morning, I was doing a workout and needed music. I grabbed my phone, navigated my way to Spotify and pulled up the Duran Duran playlist. I don’t remember what came on first, only that I could feel my heart expand a little. Then Planet Earth came on, and I really listened. I mean really listened. I smiled. Next thing you know, I’m plowing through the playlist, cleaning my house, and instead of being sad, I’m thinking about how great it’s going to be once I’m at a show again….once we get new music, again. As much as I shielded myself from having to feel the pain of having music, my one great (and only true) escape taken from me, it felt immeasurably good to hear Duran Duran again.
Other things have certainly helped, too. Having some very serious and deep discussions about music and fandom with Amanda lately (stay tuned for our upcoming Vodka Friday podcasts and videos!) have gotten me thinking about this band. Seeing posts from my very favorite guitar player in the world fill me with joy, and even make me see that yes, this Covid thing will eventually pass. I will see Duran Duran, and Dom, with all of my friends, again.
And then, something miraculous happened on Friday night. I got an email from my community band, actually forwarded from our director to me. We have gotten the green light from our county, and will be allowed to start playing together again. His note to me at the top of the screen was only two words. “Start practicing.” He knows I’ve been struggling, and he knows that my only way through this is to get back up on the horse, so to speak, and go.
My youngest goes back to school today for the very first in-person classes in almost a year (March 13 was her last day at school last year). I have already resigned myself to being emotional as I watch her walk onto campus, albeit for a decidedly shorter day (2.5 hours), complete with a mask, hand sanitizer, and layers because they will likely hold class outside. There have been so many moments when I have seriously wondered if this was really all there was going to be, from now on. It was hard to find the silver linings, but I tried my best to be positive and set a good tone for my youngest. This has been hell, in plenty of ways. I sincerely hope we remain open, because I just don’t know that she will be able to handle it if we don’t.
Then there’s music. I will probably cry the first time we’re all together again. Both when I’m at a DD show and see them on stage, and when I’m sitting in my seat at the first ACB rehearsal. For the first time in over a year, there is a light at the end of this tunnel, and it might just be getting a bit brighter.
Wash your hands. Wear a damn mask. Get vaccinated when you are eligible. Don’t do dumb things. Let’s get this done.