Just six years ago today, I stood on a very hot sidewalk in Hollywood, waiting to be allowed past the gate to then stand on some asphalt in a back lot behind the theater where Jimmy Kimmel tapes his late night talk show.
Those of us in line were there, of course, to see Duran Duran. They were taping their appearance ahead of time to be shown on a later date. Many of us had traveled and were in town to see the band perform at the Hollywood Bowl the following evening. These were to be some of the first shows after the release of Paper Gods, and after what had felt like a ten year hiatus from the band, I couldn’t wait to see them on stage.
Looking back, my life was completely different then. I pretended to be grounded and happy, but the truth is – and I think most everyone knew this about me except me – I was anything but. I was anxious, unhappy with many of my life choices, and spent more time critiquing myself and my surroundings than being grateful for all that I had. I can see that now, where at the time, I just couldn’t.
In just six years, I’ve found myself uprooted and transplanted in a completely different place. I went from being a suburban soccer mom in a planned community to living on a ranchette, worrying about apple trees, and I’m now a “mama” to twenty-three hens and a rooster! On a “fun” weekend, we’re unloading an entire pallet of concrete bags from the back of a truck, or we’re using an auger to dig fence posts and holes for future trees. There’s been a pandemic, and I’ve seen my husband heal himself after a stroke. Time certainly does fly, and everything changes. Six years ago, my oldest had just started college, my son was still in high school, and the youngest was seven, cute, sassy, and in second grade. Who would have ever known so much could happen in such little time?
I know the band doesn’t like to look back. As musicians and artists, I don’t suppose they can really afford themselves that luxury. They’re focused on whatever is coming next, and I get that. At the same time, I do tend to look back. I can afford to do that simply because I’m not an artist, I suppose. I’m a mom, and I don’t mind taking a minute or two to see all that has changed. I am so much happier now than I was in 2015. I’m settled, far less anxious, and in many ways, less attached to every move this band makes. I am less worried about keeping up with everything that every other fan blog/podcast/other production is doing, remaining focused on doing our own thing.
A lot has changed for me since standing on that white-hot sidewalk back in 2015. Friends have moved in and out of my life, kids have moved out of the house, and back in again. The band has a new album just about ready to be unleashed on the world. I haven’t seen many of you since the Paper Gods tour. One thing that hasn’t changed is that I still can’t wait to see the band live on stage again. I’m not sure when they will grace any of the venues in my area with a concert again, but I do know there is much catching-up to be done when it happens.
(top photo is from Hollywood Bowl 2015 – courtesy of Heather Todd)