How Did I Dream You?

Just as I give up on fairy tales and fantasies, I read something that makes me smile, dare to dream a little, and feel like a kid again. (I’m not just talking about my experience with an advance readers copy of the 80s Mixtape novella box set that Karen Booth sent me, either!  Another blog for another day…)

Yesterday, as I was doing my typical “avoiding-parental-duties-and-loitering-on-the-internet” thing, I ran across an article that both intrigued me as a researcher, and thrilled me as someone who has dabbled a bit in fandom. It was a story about a fan who has begun dating her celebrity crush, Disney’s Jake T. Austin from Wizards of Waverly Place. Apparently the fan began tweeting and commenting on his Instagram five years ago, culminating with Jake confirming that he’s “crazy for her”.

<Cue deafening sigh from Duranies around the world>

I couldn’t help but grin just a little when I read the headline yesterday. After all…haven’t most of us had that daydream? I’ve admitted it here many times, but my crush was Roger. Never mind I was about 13 when he married his first wife Giovanna, or that I am not, nor was I ever, dark-haired, gorgeous, or the least bit exotic-looking…it was a dream, dammit! I had it bad for Roger…not bad enough to ever follow him (again, the whole “being 13” thing sort of stopped me), or try to meet him…but the reverie of being brave enough to whisk myself off to London and “accidentally on purpose” meet him outside a studio or a gig kept me occupied during many a World History class in middle school. Even after he returned to the band in 2001, the worst thing I ever did was make myself look like a complete fool as I wore light-up horns (oh yes, and oh-hell-no I’m not posting pictures!) and waved to him as he went off stage during The Chauffeur on the Astronaut tour. Yes, I am that girl. I mean, I was that girl. The horns have been retired. You’re welcome.

Oh…there was that poster I held up asking if I could twirl his stick….

Yeah, let’s just not talk about that.  Moving on.

My point, because yes, there really IS a point, is that we all daydream at some point. The fan/rock star fantasies continue to run rampant, but most of us have conceded at this point that yes, they really are just fantasies. And then we read about someone’s fantasy coming true. I’ll be the first to admit that I briefly thought, “Now why couldn’t that have ever happened to me?” Then I started thinking about the 10,000 different reasons why there wasn’t a chance in hell, and realized that yes, my feet continue to be here on Planet Earth.

Someone else did tweet something I’d been thinking in my head, though.  “If only Duran Duran had been more accessible in the 80s!” If only. 

My grades would have immediately tanked. I’d have been so busy tweeting and loitering online that I’d have never learned about Babylonia, much less anything else. And truthfully, would it really have made any other kind of difference even I’d had direct access? Probably not. After all, I was still me…just younger and even more awkward and less-confident. I was sort of coppery-light brownish haired, green-eyed and incredibly awkward. Painfully so. Seriously, it’s a shame (I lie. It is not a shame at all…) I’d sooner die thousands of painful deaths rather than post photos of myself at the time. I had layered frizz for hair, no sense of style whatsoever, and I’m POSITIVE Nick Rhodes would have shrieked and ran from me if I’d have ever gotten close enough to approach. Like I said, there’s no way I’m posting photos, even if I had them….which I don’t. (thankfully)

The whole style thing??? I am not going to describe this properly because I can’t put this mess into words that do the outfit justice, but I had a pair of berry-colored “slacks” along with a purple and pink velour sweater thing that I would openly choose to wear with a pair of takes deep breath pink and purple Vans. Let me describe these in better detail: they were slip-ons. One was purple on the top, pink on the sides and purple in the back. The other was the exact opposite…and then each shoe had purple checks on the side. They were custom-made Vans that should have never made it off of the assembly line. I looked like a berry pie. I’m sure I blinded people. I apologize to those people. Profusely. The more you know.  <winks>

I’m also pretty certain that the band thanks their lucky stars the internet didn’t exist back then. Can’t really blame them, either.  Think about how it was whenever John Taylor would tweet. I always pictured it in my head as though he were being chased down the block while trying to have a conversation…and that was after we were all adults (or at least pretended to be). Imagine us all as teens with any of them online. Go ahead…I dare you. I shudder at the thought.

Do fans really have any kind of chance with celebrities? I suppose. If its meant to happen, it will. While it all sounds devastatingly romantic and certainly like a fairy tale at times, I think it all probably worked out as it was meant, at least for me.  Glamorous is to Rhonda as she is to……. yeah, that word game isn’t going to work with me. I’m as regular of a person as you’re gonna get. I take selfies, squint at my imperfections that I didn’t see until I took the picture, and wonder if there’s an Instagram filter that gets rid of the “housewife” look. I see photos of Yasmin, Nefer, Gela and Gisella…and they seem to have that filter built-in.

I wonder what that must be like…

Then there’s the whole “You’re a FAN” thing. Even if I were able to sneak in under the radar and be permanently rid of that “housewife and mom”  filter, I think it’s pretty difficult to shake that fan-label, even under the best of circumstances, even if I’ve tried. In one of the more recent embarrassments of my life, I made the mistake of mentioning to someone well-known I’d met previously that I’d love to meet up again and see them. They instantly assumed I was chatting them up, recoiling only slightly, being kind enough to cover and shoo me off as politely as possible with an incredibly carefully written email. Point taken, lesson learned. From now on, I stick to what I know. Writing. The computer. Perhaps a front row seat at a show where I can fantasize about being glamorous enough to attract attention, and then quietly retreat back to the reality of being a mom with three kids, a mortgage, and a fan-blog.

No, it’s not a fairy-tale fantasy come to life, but then again…I can wear Converse and a ponytail in my hair, gab online, write this blog, and yes, occasionally go total fangirl while folding laundry before I run to get the kids at school. I’m me. I’ll take it.

-R

7 thoughts on “How Did I Dream You?”

  1. Yeah, I used to to the daydream thing (didn’t we all). The bit in the Rio video where a tanned, swimming trunk wearing Simon goes backwards along the boardwalk following the ball flying overhead, before slipping on a banana skin … that played over and over in my head when I should have been listening to what was being said in school assembly! The glamorous life we were going to have together …… what went wrong?! (Still, dreams are free right?)

    1. Dreams are free, and help to keep me from wanting to strangle others. Or falling into the depths of despair sometimes… 😀 -R

  2. R you are a Rock Star, because you are one of the most important people in a society……….. A TEACHER ! ! ! ! ! In a right and proper world people should be asking for your autograph. Teachers are AWESOME!

    1. You are very kind and I appreciate what you’re saying, so much. I’m not really a teacher, though. That’s Amanda and she is amazing in every single way. People SHOULD ask her for her autograph, you’re right. I’m a mom who homeschools…it’s not the same thing even though I do talk about “teaching”. I mean, I teach…but I think Amanda might be offended by that description. She works with kids who don’t belong to her every single day, making a difference not because she has to as a parent, but because she chose teaching as her profession. Many of her students leave her class knowing she’s changed their lives, and while I know her job is thankless in many respects, I can’t imagine what it must be like to feel like you’ve changed someone’s life. I only worked for a very short time before I became a mom, and trust me when I say that success was not something I was very familiar with while working. Goodness, no. I was a staffing manager and hated it with every fiber of my being. 🙂

      I have to laugh here because I’m pretty sure my kids would have a much more colorful way of describing our school days, particularly if they knew I wasn’t listening. 😀 😀

      Thank you for making me smile! -R

  3. OMG Rhonda! Thank you for making me chuckle this morning! I would love to see a picture of you with the horns and the sign for Roger!

    I dreamt of being Mrs. John Taylor when I was a teen! I spent many a day doodling his name with hearts around it on the paper covers of my high school textbooks! I even wrote a couple of letters to him and sent them the fan club telling him how much I admired him! He never answered me back 🙁 LOL

    My husband and I have a running gag ( please don’t think badly of me ) Ben loves J Lo and Shakira . I think he loves them more for their looks than their singing but anyways…… I keep telling him that if one of them came and knocked on the door here and offered me $100000 cash up front, they could take him away for 48 hours! Yes I would pimp out my hubby to J Lo or Shakira! LOL Then he tells me that if John or Roger came to the door he would do the same for me! We are both a little silly!!!

    I would love to meet all of them but the days of fantasising of being married to John are over. I just would love to meet them and tell them that they made a difference in my life and got me through those hellish awkward teen years! I will always love DD! I listen to them everyday!

    My hubby is a little suspicious of me though! I am going to the show in Niagara Falls on March 26th. There is the show the night before as well. We are staying at the Fallsview on the 25th and the 26th. He says to me ” You booked at the Fallsview because they are playing there and you are hoping to bump into them during that day aren’t you ? ” ( he said this in french though LOL ) Well can’t a girl still dream? I am standing waiting for the elevator at the hotel and the door opens and one of them or even better all of them are in there? LOL

    Fantasies and dreaming are what keep us young! Sometimes dreams come true!

    1. You never know….good luck in Niagara Falls!! I would have loved going to see them there. I’ve never been to see the falls, and well…the added bonus of Duran playing two nights there would be fantastic. Timing is bad for me though, but I wish you the best. Have a great time!

      And I know there’s a picture around somewhere of me, horns on, poster in hand… maybe if I’m drunk someday I’ll post it. LOL -R

  4. Dreams …? My fave lyric on sleeping and dreaming
    “Now just let me sleep
    I don’t want to talk
    I have nothing much to say
    Just sleeping in your hand
    Please just let me float
    Nothing matters less than time
    My thoughts are so remote
    Your hand is open wide
    We can be so strange, we can be so wild
    Even we love, even we we lie
    Yes we can be so strange, we can be so wild
    Even when we touch, even when we die
    I’m sleeping in your hand
    I’m sleeping in your hand…”

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