Tag Archives: Duranies

The Fan Purity Myth

Over the course of the past several days, I’ve read a good many viewpoints. Not unlike any other time when Duran Duran has announced something new, or released a new product – Duranies from all corners of the world have announced their conclusions. Sometimes, these attitudes are consistent with one another; other times, they are as wildly different as the people and places they derive.

In my experience, Duranies have never been afraid to share their assessments. Some do it rather loudly, by tweeting about it, or posting replies on Facebook updates that the band has published. Others take to message boards or discuss it more privately amongst smaller groups. Some are not afraid to pointedly poke fun, others are far more diplomatic. Some people choose to be blunt or even rude.  A few allow their anger to shape their comments, while others feel the need to defend the honor of the band at all costs.

How many times have you read the statement, “If you were a real fan, you’d like or support the band’s decision?”  Fan purity tests such as this do very little to positively affect the community.

It should not come as a surprise that Daily Duranie fell into the middle of the mosh pit melee more than once.  It was uncomfortable, and not a situation we enjoyed. Over the eight years we’ve blogged, Amanda and I have learned that our “job”, so to speak, is to provide the topic. Any necessary judgment or conclusions fall on the side of our reader to employ.

It is very easy to sit in my chair here at home, and judge comments found on any of the social media accounts that DDHQ manages. Some people love the fragrances and are willing to fly to London to buy every last one of them. Other people don’t. Still others absolutely hate the idea and think everything from price to where it i being sold is ridiculous. That range of response is honestly and truly no different from the response to any other thing the band has ever done, or will ever do. Some people want the band to do things, but they want them done exactly as they see fit. There is no room for deviation. When that doesn’t happen, they wield their keyboards like swords, and enter the fight.

At one time, I would have questioned whether or not these people, so eager to take the band down with their words, were indeed real fans. That also got me into trouble, and I don’t mind admitting that here. Fandom cannot be put to a purity test, a lesson I’ve learned well. Tables turn very quickly and easily in this fandom. One day, you’re as pure as the driven snow; the next, you’re writing a fan blog that pissed somebody off.  Things happen!

There are always going to be people who don’t like something. There are always going to be people who take to the internet, hell-bent to make the rest of the Duranie-world see and agree with their point of view. Sometimes, they resort to humor in order to do it, and sometimes, it reads as disrespectful. Yet at the end of the day, chances are, they still love Duran Duran as much as anybody else.

It isn’t up to me to put any of that up to a ridiculous fan-purity test, that is for sure.

-R

Running like a fox to keep up

I apologize for my tardiness this morning. There are days when I feel like thing are going well, and I’ve “got this”, and then there are days when I feel like a small person pushing a huge boulder up a steep hill.

Today is the latter, and sadly – it is for no good reason other than I just feel stressed.

It has been nice to see the pictures and bits of news from yesterday’s  fragrance launch. (a shout-out to a friend because yes, I’m mentioning THAT again…) After what has felt like months without anything significant, it was lovely to see the band out and about again. I’m sure it has probably only been a few weeks (maybe even only couple) since the band was out, but it has felt like much longer. That is likely a commentary on the doldrums of my own daily existence than the workings of the band, though.

I knew of a few people that made their way to Liberty London in support of the band, despite not knowing about the launch party until nearly the last-minute. As I perused the comments online, I noticed a common, familiar sentiment amongst the posts. Nearly everyone mentioned their dismay at not knowing about the party sooner.

I know that DDHQ said the announcement of the fragrances didn’t go as planned. I’m sure that was frustrating for them. I don’t have any idea if the launch party itself was meant to be a public thing where fans could buy tickets to attend. The very fact that they were available online screams “please come!” On the other hand, I have to wonder if part of the lateness in mentioning the launch also served as a way to make certain that there were be very few fans in attendance.

While I can understand the concern with having a crowd of fans present at a function that was meant for mingling between the band and press, I also see the point of fans. They want to be able to support the band. This presents itself as a bit of tug-o-war that is almost always at work. On one hand, management really is not concerned with fans. They are a business entity. On the other, fans are what have kept this band afloat. Ignoring, if not outright discouraging fans, has been an ongoing problem.

This past tour – the Paper Gods tour – seemed to be a giant step backward, at least when it came down to accessibility of the band to fans. Members were ushered from place to place, with stern glances from handlers to the few fans that might have been present as they walked from cars into buildings. A few long-standing hotels where the band had stayed on previous tours were left empty. They weren’t just running from Amanda and I, either! More than one fan in nearly every country they visited complained that they couldn’t get anywhere near the band on this tour, and when they did – they were given angry looks and told to “back off”.

Granted, I know what happens on tour. Anyone who has ever been to a Duran show and spent any kind of time waiting to see them outside of a venue, or after a show, knows the potential exists for extreme chaos, at minimum. Some fans step out of line. Some people do not understand boundaries of any kind. Perhaps it all finally got to be a bit much, and maybe the band finally asked to have their privacy guarded. I wouldn’t be surprised by that, and I wouldn’t argue otherwise. Sometimes, they really DO need security to step in…and sometimes, fans need to back the hell off. I don’t know why people can’t see that when they’re in front of Roger, John, Simon or Nick, but some simply cannot.

As someone also said to me today, “It must be said that new staff doesn’t realize they [the band] know us well and that they have known us for ages.”  Also true.

Of course, the issue here is that we’d all love to count ourselves in that group, and how on earth would management/handlers/touring staff ever really know who was safe and who was not?

Once again, I’m left with more potential questions and problems than answers when it comes to accessibility. It is a good thing I’m not in charge.

-R

And then there were scents…

Just when I was beginning to lose faith in this whole “40th anniversary” thing.

(not really, but I needed a good opening remark!)

Yesterday I saw something on Twitter that I previously believed would never materialize. I scrolled through my timeline and noticed a friend had retweeted something about a fragrance launch at Liberty London. Tickets were available (and I do mean were) for tomorrows launch, and I have to wonder if any of our Duran-friends out there will be attending!

I vaguely remember either Nick or John mentioning a fragrance idea during a Katy Kafe. It was one of the ideas swirling around under the 40th anniversary heading. I (wrongly) assumed that it was a pie-in-the-sky-idea, and didn’t think about it again. Until yesterday.

I won’t lie, even when I saw the tweet, I thought it was more likely rumor than reality. This morning though, DDHQ confirmed that yes, the fragrances (yes, as in more than one!) is a reality. The coordinated announcement clearly did not work out according to plan. Twitter followers were told to “watch this space” for information in the coming days. Or weeks. Or even months. The tweet didn’t specify, although the launch is tomorrow.

One can only assume that the launch information wasn’t intended to get “out” (although tickets were indeed available to the public) and DDHQ wanted control over the information flow. Which makes  sense, if only the rest of the world would get on board with the plan!

Meanwhile, I have to wonder—why now? Sure, the 40th anniversary is upcoming (I believe that the band is looking to 2020—the year that Simon joined—with that in mind as opposed to celebrating the band’s actual inception), but is that enough to support launching fragrances now?

But really—tell me there’s new music coming along for the ride and I’m IN!  (Yes, I realize that a snowball has a better chance of surviving in hell than we do of getting new music alongside this launch, but I had to throw the idea out there!)

I am excited and curious to see how this plays out!The artwork DDHQ tweeted whets my appetite and interest, and I’ve included it as the cover photo for this post! (see above!)

-R

 

 

Not Knowing Where You’re Rolling

The other day, I saw a meme on Facebook about concert withdrawals. That same day, a fellow Duranie posted a question as her status update, asking if anyone else was having Paper God withdrawals. I enthusiastically responded, “YES”.

I don’t know what is going on with me. Maybe it is the time of year. Perhaps I just don’t have enough to do here at home. I do miss that band more now than I have in months, though. Apparently, I’m not alone. That’s comforting.

As I wrote in an email yesterday, I have no business wishing for concerts right now. I really don’t. It is tough finding a way to sneak out of this house during daylight hours to get groceries, much less escape for an extended period to see a band perform somewhere in this country. However, the heart wants what it wants, right?

If I could go anywhere in the world to see Duran Duran play – OUTSIDE of the state I live in, where would I go?  I’d love to have the money to go anywhere I wanted, but like everyone else – my responsibilities and budget keep me tethered.  Even so, if I could…where would I want to go?

Worldwide, there are a few places I’d love to see Duran Duran again. Oddly, I have yet to see the band play in London. I love the UK in general, and I will take advantage of any excuse I can find to go and explore more of England in particular. I’d also love to see them in Sicily, since my dad’s family is originally from there. The last choice is really a toss-up because there is so much of Europe I’d love to see. Switzerland, France and Austria are at the top of my list. Klosters in Switzerland looked like a snowy-dream world, Carcassonne, France seemed like somewhere I’d want to escape on vacation, and even my husband can attest that I bring up going to Vienna every time the idea of going on a real, extended, holiday comes up. (Maybe once the kids are out of college!)

Even here in the states, there are places I’ve yet to see, and shows I regret not being able to get to. Red Rocks, for instance. That was a once-in-a-lifetime gig that I missed out on. I’m still kicking myself about that. I’d love to go to Florida and see them play, and definitely Boston.

Fantasy time!! What about you? Where would you go, outside of where you currently live, if you could go anywhere?

-R

 

 

Were you at the Greek Theatre at UC Berkeley in 2015?

On this date in 2015, Duran Duran played the Greek Theatre on the campus of UC Berkeley. I drove to this show with Amanda and our friend Heather. We left right after the concert ended at the Hollywood Bowl the night before, and stopped at a hotel (I use that term rather loosely here) along the way.

I don’t remember much about the trip that night.  I remember a few  texts and emails that Amanda read to me, while I focused on driving safely. My eyes got so tired that they hurt, which I hadn’t expected. I figured I’d ride the adrenaline high from the show, but it didn’t last long. I vaguely remember something about a giant bug in the bathtub of the aforementioned “hotel” that night. I let Heather and Amanda fight that one as I let myself fall into a deep sleep!

The next day, we got ourselves up and out the door so that we could get to our next hotel, and then finish the drive to Berkeley. We got there super early, and walked down to have dinner with friends before the concert. Months earlier during the pre-sale, we’d pulled front row seats. Our joy lasted for about five minutes, until someone mentioned that they would absolutely hate having front row seats at this venue. The person explained that the stage is very tall, and it would be difficult to see.

At the time, Amanda and I were quickly coming down off the high from winning the pre-sale “jackpot”. In one breath we were yelling, “Front row!  Finally!!” and in the next, “Wait, what??” Both of us tried to ignore the possibility that perhaps even when we “won”, we’d lost. I mean, who complains about front row?!? We decided that we were not going to be those people!  Even so, the little niggling worry in my head would not subside. As I climbed the steps to the venue, I just hoped it would work out.

Yes, the stage was very tall. I’d also say that the sides of the venue were fairly steep. The height of the stage was probably necessary for the shape of the venue. Front row wasn’t terrible though. There was plenty of room between our seats and the stage, and I had no trouble seeing the band that night, nor did they have trouble seeing us! I definitely didn’t hate having front row in Berkeley!

The most puzzling part of the evening came after the band had taken their final bows and had left the stage. We were making our way out of the venue and had stopped to say hello to a friend. A small skirmish involving two fans and one of the set lists that had been taped to the stage floor caught our attention. Two women were about to come to blows over an unsigned, untouched-by-any-band-member setlist. I watched, completely incredulous that someone was likely to get a black-eye purely because they didn’t want to give up a piece of paper.

Since then, I’ve noticed that one of the techs usually walks around with a stack of set lists after the show.  They throw them out to whomever wants one. I’ve also experienced the joy of someone choosing to crawl right over the top of Amanda and I while we were up against the stage. They climbed right up as though we were a step-ladder, taking no care to not hurt us in the process. All for a piece of paper. Those memories are pretty indicative of the fandom, in many ways.

After the show, we met friends for a quick drink (I had water!) before getting back on the road to our hotel for the night. The following day we had a massive drive ahead of us as we headed from Berkeley to the final stop for that road trip: Agua Caliente.

-R

I Know This Shattered Feeling

I’m sorry the blog is posting so late today. Like millions of other Americans, my attention has been glued to the testimony taking place on Capitol Hill (Washington, D.C.) today. If you’re not in America, and you don’t know what I’m referring to, Google it. I find myself struggling to find the right words.

As Duran fans, our love and loyalty has recently been put to the test. “Who do you believe?” has been a common question that I’ve seen and thought about many times lately. The same question is now up for debate with the American public.

I don’t have answers. I didn’t when it was Simon, and I still don’t now. It isn’t my intention to persuade anyone to my way of thinking, nor am I determined to debate events that I wasn’t present to witness. Instead, I come here to forget and take a breather. To wipe the slate clean. I enjoy living and breathing. Yes, I have a history, and not all of it is of great memory. This place is my escape. It is how I take a deep breath, and it is how I remind myself that I’m LIVING.

My exhaustion hangs heavy in the air. I am sure that I’m not alone in feeling that way.

Over the years I’ve known Amanda, she has occasionally mentioned wanting something to look forward to.  She’s usually talking about having a concert on the calendar. I’ve never really felt that way, although don’t get me wrong – seeing Duran Duran live is always welcome! I don’t really know if I have a coping mechanism like that?    I just try to get through each day, and I force myself to focus on each day at a time, rather than look too far ahead. At least, that’s what I did until today. Today, I really wish I had a gig – a Duran Duran concert (thankyouverymuch) to look forward to. The diversion and opportunity to obsess over something other than regular day-to-day life is sounding pretty good right now.

Now, of course I know there’s no Duran shows ahead, at least not in 2018. I wish there were, though. The band is off doing whatever they’re doing, and I don’t fault them.  I just miss those five guys (Yes, five. Including Dom, of course.), particularly on days and even weeks like this. The utopian lifestyle of touring is far more appealing than the ugliness I’m witnessing in Washington, D.C.

I’ve been thinking about what video would be most appropriate to share here. I didn’t think I’d have much to write and share. I realized the perfect answer came directly from DDHQ themselves. The video they shared with us for DDAD2018 is perfect and exactly what I needed. I hope you take a deep cleansing breath, watch, and enjoy! Click on the link!

Duran Duran – Pressure Off/Hold Back the Rain from Budokan

-R

So Easy to Disturb with a Thought, with a Whisper

Each year as we grow closer to October, there are a few events I can’t help but think back on.  I don’t know what it is about Autumn.  The days remind me of Duran Duran, touring, friends, and even conventions.

Take New Orleans and the Friends of Mine convention in 2004, for example. My life felt wild and free. I  grabbed on to the tiger’s tail, and was trying to hold on for dear life! I loved the new experiences and how I felt at the time. The memories make me smile.

Beignets and coffee in what felt like the middle of the night, learning to literally reach up for the sunrise, after spending hours in all sorts of late bars with friends of mine. I was getting a crash course in the regular activities of being a Duranie, and I loved every minute. The trip included a lot of self-discovery for me. When I think back, I recognize how much I’d missed out on prior. Going to that convention was about more than just making friends or Duran Duran. I was making up for lost time, and finding myself.  I’m thankful I took the risk and went.

I also think about a certain road trip with Amanda.  Our friend Heather had flown in from Canada, and  I’m pretty sure we nearly killed her along the way. Amanda and I were raring to go and spent most of our “free” time driving and discussing the band.  Poor Heather, on other hand, caught a cold straightaway.  She spent most of our driving time up and down the center of California bundled up in my backseat trying to sleep over our cackling. We went to see the band at the Hollywood Bowl, drove up to their show in Berkeley and then back down to Rancho Mirage in a matter of three days. It was a lot of driving in a very short period of time, which gave this writer a lot of time to obsess and over think.

It is a bit difficult not to wonder what will come next, and when. I have no business even thinking about Duran Duran shows or new albums right now.  Cleaning, packing or doing whatever it is that we housewives should be doing should probably be at the top of my to-do list, not yearning for concerts and tours.  I just can’t help but long for the times when we got together for the sake of celebrating the music.

Part of the allure of touring for me, so to speak, is its simplicity. Instead of my schedule being centered around what child need me to be where and when, it is about what city I need to be in, and how many hours it will take to get there. My time on tour is spent laughing and talking with friends, not worrying about dance classes, homework, or piano lessons. Even now that my son has moved out and his room stands mostly empty, the daily struggles get me down. I don’t like feeling chained to the calendar without having my own plans or things to look forward to. Sometimes I just need a break.

I said as much to my husband at some point over the weekend. He is out-of-town right now, and will be doing quite a bit more traveling for work over the next several weeks. I’m tied to the house, keeping it clean for showings (no it still hasn’t sold), taking our youngest to and from her classes, managing our zoo (the dog and cats of course), and of course homeschooling. Home is beginning to feel more and more like prison. Sure, that circumstance is temporary, but it feels like forever.  My husband gave no response to my comments this weekend, but I feel as though I’ve slipped right back into the role I occupied before I went to that first convention.

I don’t think it’s any coincidence that I’m feeling like this now. Today is the first day in about three years that I’ve genuinely been at home alone. Normally there is always somebody here, or I’d be at work too. Today I dropped the child off at school and came home to a very quiet house, just as I used to do before I started working again. Life has come full circle again, I guess.

I know that it is only a matter of time before my family moves north, and hopefully the touring/appearance/album schedule will pick back up for Duran Duran. They keep saying they’re going back into the studio….right?

-R

The cold harsh reality of ticket scalping

 

Recently, I ran across an article by Consequence of Sound that didn’t surprise me one bit, yet reading the words infuriated me anyway. Surely you must know what I mean: when something tells you what you already know, even so, it makes you angry to read the words in print. That was my reaction when I read the headline alone.

“Ticketmaster has been reportedly been enlisting scalpers to purchase tickets in bulk, and then resell them at higher prices on the Ticketmaster-owned platform, TradeDesk.”

https://consequenceofsound.net/2018/09/ticketmaster-scalper-program/

I have to ask, just how many people are surprised to read any of that? I doubt many, particularly if you’ve gone to many concerts over the years. If anything, you read the headline and while you weren’t shocked, you are definitely at least a little angry.  Even though as of Friday morning, Ticketmaster denies any such claim, it is hard to imagine that the reports weren’t just wild accusations.

Here’s the thing, we all know Ticketmaster condones at least some form of secondary marketplace because they run one. It is on their website, and the reseller tickets are offered right alongside the regular ones. These tickets are sold by private individuals, but Ticketmaster facilitates the sale. Yes, as Ticketmaster admits through a disclaimer right on the site as a customer is browsing, resale ticket prices may be inflated over and above the face value. But is that scalping?

By definition, yes. However, the scalping practice that Ticketmaster and others have spoken out against in the past usually involves a bot purchasing more than the posted ticket limit, typically in large volume, and then reselling those tickets for ridiculously bloated prices.

How many times have any of us participated in a Ticketmaster pre or general sale, only to come away empty-handed just moments later because the show had sold out in what felt like record time? We can thank the bots for that, right? How would you feel though if those bots actually worked with Ticketmaster, as the article claims?  What if they were actually being recruited to participate?

TradeDesk is Ticketmaster’s professional reseller product, which allows resellers to validate and distribute tickets to multiple marketplaces. The article claims that Ticketmaster turns a blind eye to those who use automated systems to amass tickets for resell using TradeDesk. It doesn’t mention whether these tickets are sold at inflated pricing, but you and I know that of course they are. Again, I have to ask, isn’t that scalping, at least by definition?

Even through TradeDesk, there is a CoC (Code of Conduct) that applies. There are limits to how many tickets can be purchased, and according to Ticketmaster, there is no program in place to enable resellers to amass tickets in volume, nor is it acceptable for resellers to create fictitious user accounts to circumvent the system.

The question of what constitutes scalping still hangs thick in the air. The answer depends on whom you’re asking. For Ticketmaster, that line is very clear. As long as they are profiting, both on the front and back-end, it’s not scalping.

To many of my friends, this subject comes down to fairness. We want to be able to get good seats, we want fair pricing. With volume resellers in the business right beside Ticketmaster, a scenario involving fairness happens less and less. I’ve gone online in search of tickets for a few gigs lately. More and more often, within moments of a show going on sale, there are fewer and fewer primary sale ticket available. Everything shows up as a resale, and that means paying augmented prices right off the bat.

When I was young, and quite frankly – stupid, I wanted to believe that The Powers That Be wanted this system to be fair. I looked at bots and scalpers as the root cause to the problem. I felt that Ticketmaster just couldn’t evolve quickly enough to circumvent the work-arounds that bots (and the like) could create. As I’ve grown older and far more cynical, I recognize the real problem. My friends, you and I don’t matter.  This has never been about fairness to the consumer. Fair ticketing doesn’t matter. It is about money, and by that I mean Ticketmaster’s money, not yours.

-R

 

Ashes to Understanding is the Nature of this Existence

I’ve been thinking about the last line I wrote in yesterday’s post.

“I got involved in the fan community because I wanted to make friends, not enemies.”

For the past seventeen years, I’ve participated in the Duran Duran fan community.  By that I mean, I’ve been involved online. Before that, I didn’t really know much about their fan club. I can remember reading something about it in the 1980s, but my parents weren’t about to let me answer some ad in Tiger Beat. Yes, they were pretty strict.

Like many, I discovered duranduran.com after going to a concert. I don’t know why I didn’t think about searching for them online before, but I hadn’t. Going to that one show in 2001 changed everything, and searching online tied me to the band going forward. I’m definitely not sorry.

What boggles my mind though, is how much the community itself has changed. Even after duranduran.com stopped hosting the fan forum and it became a benefit for paid members of duranduranmusic.com, people still flocked to the message board. It was a busy place with many different personalities. Nowadays, it is a ghost town. Even Twitter, which seemed to be a gathering spot in the aftermath of DDM’s forum, has settled way down. Band members don’t really post, and many of the fans who at one time were active in the Twitterverse have since drifted.

It is inevitable that people drift away, or in and out of fandom. Currently, the band is fairly quiet. Even in the most recent Katy Kafe,  Roger and Katy briefly mention that there is really no upcoming news from the band. In fact, I saw written somewhere that KAABOO Cayman is the only 2019 performance date. Now, whether that is the plan going forward or only the truth currently, I can’t say. Regardless, it makes sense that for right now, fandom is fairly quiet.

I think my surprise has far more to do with the changes I don’t notice until I really think about them. So many people I once knew and chatted with on a daily basis have simply moved on. I’ve lost touch with many over the years, and yet here I am…still loitering! Twitter is a very different animal these days, Instagram, Tumblr, and even Facebook have all changed considerably.

I almost feel like the fan community has blurred into the woodwork. I don’t think about how the fan community has evolved very often, only when I realize that the band has been off tour (and by that I mean the Paper Gods tour ended) since about this time last year, which means they haven’t been in the studio for about 3.5 years, unless you count the various times they’ve mentioned going back into the studio over the course of the last year in Katy Kafes. Makes you curious what they’ve actually done in the studio during those times, right? Yet it’s only today that I’ve sat back and thought about it!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m really not trying to cattle prod them back in there, although I know it reads that way. I am really just trying to illustrate that I don’t really notice everything that has changed until I’ve got spare time on my hands to do so!

I miss the tangible feeling of perpetual excitement in the air. During the Astronaut and Reunion era, I could feel the electricity! I suppose I could be romanticizing the nostalgia, in the same way I remember high school being fun all of the time. I haven’t had a lot of time over the past year to really think about Duran Duran, or even the Paper Gods tour that much. Yeah, I know I write the blog nearly every day, but I mean even beyond that time. These are the first moments where I’ve sat back and thought about the fan community I once knew. I didn’t appreciate it until I noticed how quiet it has become.

What was once a significant part of my day, has become far less of an influence. I think my husband probably cheers for that, now that I’ve taken on the “hobby” of keeping an immaculate home. I’ve become FAR too domesticated for my taste. Just the other day I told Amanda that I couldn’t wait to be worrying about truly important things again. You know, concert dates and pre-sales! Or telling my husband that I was going to be gone for weeks on end…in another country.

I even miss him coming home from work to see me laughing because I was in a chat room with friends. There were many times I wouldn’t have dinner ready and waiting because I had better things to do! Maybe I would be answering posts on a message board, or drooling over the band’s new video.  Sometimes I’d be cackling wildly over pictures of Simon with the best handlebar mustache I’d ever seen. Those things rarely happen now.

Since November of last year, nearly all of my time has been spent worrying. First it was our truck which needed a ridiculously costly repair, then a lay off which lasted for six months. A yet-to-be-completed huge family move, on top of trying to figure out how we were going to cover college tuition for both of our kids with only days to come up with it have rounded out my summertime and are currently leaking their way into autumn. No, summer didn’t feel like summer at all. No camping, no trips, and zero vacation. Aside from the couple of days I was in Santa Barbara house hunting, I haven’t really left the vicinity. Call me crazy, but I’m looking forward to some Duran news to take the edge off, whenever it should come.

During the moments when I am truly taking a deep breath and trying to center myself,  I recognize the void that the fan community used to inhabit in my life. That isn’t to say I’m not still involved, but there is just a lot less to participate in.  I miss it.

-R

Picking Through the Pieces

I have friends and acquaintances that have had the good fortune to run into the band many, many times. So much so, that they’ve become recognizable to Simon, Nick, John, Roger and probably even Dom and so on. They know when a band member might make an appearance somewhere and they show up in support, or maybe they know where one of them lives or places they frequent. As a result, they’ve been fortunate enough to take pictures with the band, maybe even many times, and they’ve posted them online.

Apparently, this practice also runs the risk of being incredibly offensive.

On one hand, I get it. I don’t live within reasonable proximity to any member of the band.  Even John’s home in California isn’t exactly nearby, and I haven’t made a habit of going up to the Hollywood Hills to just hang out. I’d be lying if I didn’t say that yeah, when things come up in places I can’t go, of course I’m envious of those who can attend. That’s natural for a lot of people, particularly when the band isn’t making regular appearances anywhere. That doesn’t mean I’m hoping for bad things to happen, or I’m posting my annoyances about the people who do have new pictures to show. It just means that inwardly, I wish I could do more. Yep, I wish some band member ran over to hug me or come sit with us when we’ve been out places. I wish I could be at everything. Of course!

On the other hand, I don’t understand at all. I’m well-aware that it seems like some people just get the band’s attention a lot. I know that some people have no compunction about sharing tales of spending real time with band members. Sure sometimes it feels like they’re almost bragging.  Does it really matter?

Some fans have what may seem like hundreds of pictures with them. I’ve commented about that in the past. I’ve come to learn that it really doesn’t matter. I don’t care if Susie Chauffeur has had 5,000 pictures with the band and gets another. It doesn’t matter. She’s just lucky. Maybe she’s luckier than I am. A lot of people are! Who cares?Maybe she really needed those pictures in order to feel a little more human that day. Jealousy boils down to a lot of wasted energy.

Sure, I guess I could be mad. I suppose I could be very jealous that Mary or Sally spent time with my favorite band members or that they have enough pictures to fill a photo album. In the past, I’ve even had the nerve to publicly question how many pictures would constitute “enough”. I lost friends over it, and in the end – it hardly seems worth the effort. What might be enough for you, or even for me, might not be for somebody else. Spending the negative energy to put those feelings out there seems like a big waste. It is tiring!

So, when I go online and I see truly nasty comments about someone who has had the good fortune to see Nick or to take pictures with Simon or even Roger or John, I have to wonder where that anger is coming from and why? Is it really worth the time? For me, it’s just easier on my spirit to wish them well. It makes sense, if you think about it. Positive energy flows easily. There’s almost no effort involved in clicking the “like” button and moving on about your day. Posting something out of anger is far more difficult. I can’t stand the mental anguish, even when I’m furious.

Snarky comments, even ones I’ve posted myself, tend to keep me thinking. I hate the feeling I get after I post something out of anger. It just isn’t worth my anxiety. I walk away in a bad mood, and I sulk about it the entire day.  For what? I try to remind myself to think twice before I post. I’m not perfect, but in the end, it just isn’t worth spreading the negative energy.

Maybe I’m weird, but I don’t actually like posting mean things about people. In return, I don’t enjoy the icky feeling of knowing that people don’t like me. I got involved in the fan community because I wanted to make friends, not enemies.

-R