Tag Archives: Duranies

A Little Time Spent in Gratitude

Every once in a while, I’ll come across something that reminds me that our time here on this planet is short.  It might be reading something about a friend that passed, or hearing that someone I know is ill, or maybe it’s news of a freak accident that claimed innocent lives. As I’ve grown older, I think I must pay more attention to those types of news items on social media.  I think about them a little more in passing, too. In some ways, I miss the times when I believe that I, and the people around me, would live forever. I never thought much about death or dying. Nowadays, I’ve got a brother-in-law who is getting a bone marrow transplant as I type, and a dear friend who is getting chemotherapy as she battles another type of cancer.  It is sometimes hard to focus on living.

Yesterday, I was an all-day, off-site staff meeting for my company. I work for a non-profit education company that owns several charter schools in my state. This is only my second year working for the company, and I was hired just after school started last year so this is the first time I’ve seen the entire company at an event (normally we divide up by charter school, if that makes any sense).  We spent the entire day in mBIT, or mBrain training. (multiple Brain Integration Techniques) Rather than bore you with the details, I spent much of the day learning how to breathe in much the same way one breathes during yoga. (I slept better last night than I’ve slept in MONTHS, oddly enough, which was something the instructor told us might happen.)

During our training, we spent a lot of the time in gratitude – giving thanks for what we have, or what our brain(s) are telling us about various problems we have. I spent a lot of that time not thinking about school problems (after all, children haven’t even graced our door yet!), but being thankful for the wonderful things I do have in my life. While a lot of the training was exhausting, I actually liked the breathing. I’m going to use it more often during my day to center myself, however I can.

When I got out to my car, I briefly looked at twitter and my phone since I had it off for most of the day. I saw that Nile Rodgers was in the hospital and had to miss a gig for an undisclosed illness. Naturally, I thought about him and hoped for the best. Life is short, and I’m thankful to have not only grown up with his music, but also with the life lessons he’s inadvertently taught me along the way through his own health struggles.

Nile was released from the hospital today, and I have to assume that he’s doing well.  My feelings are likely the same as everyone else’s today – glad to hear he’s well enough to leave the hospital, can’t help but think about the music – his own silver lining, that he will undoubtedly leave behind someday.  Extraordinary.

As we’ve all discovered in recent years, our idols don’t live forever.  For many of them, life with them here on this planet was far shorter than any of us bargained. I don’t think I’m alone when I say that I try to spend a lot more time being thankful for the gifts they’ve given us along the way.  For me, the members of Duran Duran are as much people I look up to and highly respect as they are responsible for the soundtrack of my life. I don’t want to think about the time when one or more of them may not be here – I want to focus on enjoying them right now. Life is short, but it is certainly bright and melodic, with their presence in it.

-R

 

Happy Duran Duran Appreciation Day 2017!

Hi everyone!

This year, we decided to do something a little different. Rather than just do a video appreciating everyone from the band to the fans and beyond, we decided to address the band directly.  We wanted to thank and appreciate them for everything they’ve done.

That isn’t to say we don’t appreciate our fellow fans, but we felt like we should spend a little time thanking the people who are directly responsible!

Cheers!!

-A & R

Something to Remember: Friendship and DDAD17

Friendship matters. In a world that is moving far too quickly, with relationships teetering towards collapse, a real friend can be hard to find and keep.

Before I ever began blogging, and well before I ever had the audacity to believe I could write a manuscript, I spent most of my days chasing after my two oldest kids. When we first moved to the neighborhood where we currently live, my oldest—Heather—wasn’t even quite a full year old. Gavin came along a year and a half later, and that’s when I joined the MOMS Club. Believe it or not, it’s an international club for stay-at-home moms. Joining the club was the best thing for me because I felt pretty overwhelmed here at home alone. Having somewhere to be each day, whether it was the park or another member’s home for cooking club, or just sitting on someone’s driveway while we let all of the kids play in the cul-de-sac, saved me. I made friends fairly quickly, and some were closer than others, but it still wasn’t enough. At the time, I couldn’t put my finger on what I was missing, but it was something.

I stayed in MOMS Club until my oldest was in first grade, I believe, and that’s when I realized I’d moved beyond what they could offer. Playdates and sewing classes bored the hell out of me. What I really wanted was some adult time and a real friendship that went beyond just being moms, and that was beyond the premise of MOMS Club.

Around that same time, I went to the first Duran Duran concert I’d been to in probably seven years. I’ve told the story before, but it was mind-boggling. That reignited a flame I’d thought had long since been extinguished, and I went searching online to see what else was out there. Or who!  I think at the time, I believed I was going to look for information on the band. I  had no idea what they’d been up to since Medazzaland, and I felt like I must have missed something. I joined the duranduran.com message boards and tried to glean as much as possible from the obviously long-time posters there.

For me, dd.com was a tough place. I was very intimidated by the people there, because they seemed to rip everyone to shreds, including one another.  It didn’t seem friendly, and I didn’t want to put myself out there. So I kept searching and eventually stumbled onto duranduranfans.com, which became my online sanctuary.

The story of how I eventually met Amanda has been told over and over, but the truth is, she was somehow exactly who I needed to meet. We are forever bonded by Duran Duran, and now, also by this blog and our experiences. When I met her, I had no way of knowing that she and I were opposite sides of the same coin, or that we would be there to push and encourage one another when needed. Amanda and I are so different in so many ways, you might not even think we’d be able to be friends. It’s just the opposite, though. She is strong where I’m weak, and vice-versa. It is the first real, solid friendship I think I’ve had as an adult.

I’ve run into people over the years who say that they appreciate the ban for the catalog of music, but that we really shouldn’t thank or appreciate them for bringing fans and friends together.  I’m just not so sure. For me personally, it was going to a single concert that led me to find my best friend. It is that same band who continues to push and encourage the two of us to keep going. And let’s face it, if it weren’t for Duran Duran, there would be no Daily Duranie. That alone is worth a thank you, and maybe even a toast!

Since this blog is written daily, we’ve kind of gotten into the habit of appreciating Duran Duran each day.  In many ways, it’s our own moment of zen, now that I come to think of it. In no way can I appreciate them more, though, than thanking them for somehow leading me to an entirely different chapter in my life, complete with a friendship I can count on, and memories I’ll never forget.

See you all tomorrow on Twitter! #DDAD17

-R

 

 

#DDAD17: Party and Appreciate DD This Thursday!

If you are looking for hard-hitting Daily Duranie news today, I’m about to totally rock your world. After much discussion and logistical planning,  we are ready to announce that Amanda and I are hosting an online Duran Duran Appreciation Day (#DDAD17) par-tay!

Amanda and I have been spending a lot of time working while on Skype this summer. It’s the next best thing to being in the same room, and we’ve grown accustomed to this method over the years. I don’t know what prompted the topic one day while we were talking, but I said something about how I wanted to spend just one day this summer watching videos together and acting like idiots online. It’s pretty much what we do when we ARE together (just imagine those long car rides getting to shows). I just want one more day of that before we both go back to work, because no matter what we say now – by October we’ll both be saying things on the blog like “We miss our friends. We haven’t talked to one another in months, etc. etc.”

The thing is, if I had to pick one thing to really appreciate Duran Duran for giving me – it would be my friendship to Amanda. Yes, yes, the music is fantastic. Of COURSE. Many people will focus on that for Duran Duran Appreciation Day, and I think that’s wonderful. But the most important thing for ME has been friendship. And if it weren’t for Duran Duran, I would have never found Amanda.  I know it seems like such a strange thing to thank a band for, but I am pretty sure they get it. I think they’ve seen us enough to know, and I will never be able to thank them enough.  I suspect there might be another blog on that whole friendship thing tomorrow….

The other thing is, we’ve hosted similar parties in the past. They’re always at weird times because of the time differences around the world, and more often than not they’re during the week because Duran Duran Appreciation Day falls during the week most years.  As result, most people can’t really join in for the entire time.  Ultimately it dissolves into Amanda and I, drunk by 2pm my time…tweeting away with no one answering and yet we’re cracking ourselves up.  It is either amusing or maddening, depending upon your patience level.  The fact is, WE have a total blast being idiots, left to our own devices, and so this all comes down to the two of us.  As our good friend Patty once told us, “If you’re not having fun, it’s time to go.”

With all of that in mind, we invite you to join us in an afternoon/evening filled with Duran Duran videos, trivia, merriment, friendship, and joy.  The best part is that this will cost you nothing, and all you need in order to join in is a reasonably decent internet connection.

Beginning at noon PDT time (that is: 2pm central, 3pm east coast, 8pm UK…and so on), Amanda and I will be on Twitter, watching a specially compiled Daily Duranie video play list, making jokes whenever possible, drinking vodka tonics, and basically cracking ourselves up.  We would love to have fans from all over join us, or pop in and out as you’re able.  All you need to do in order to properly celebrate the day is find us on twitter at @dailyduranie, and use the hashtag #DDAD17. We’ll let you know when we begin the special playlist, and if you join late, we can accommodate that by throwing out the names of the videos we’re watching.

On another note, originally someone had suggested doing a Google Hangout and doing drunken Duran Karaoke. While this was an amazingly fun idea, the logistics aren’t that simple. Hangouts only accommodate up to 10 on a video call, and really – isn’t the point to be able to WATCH? I wish I could say we had the hookup to be able to host such things here on our site, but according to my IT guy – we are not a Fortune 500 company, and our yearly operating budget is “slightly smaller” than that. So videos and Twitter it is!!

(He means we operate in the red, which is true.)

So, check us out on Thursday, 12pm PDT, 8pm UK time.  We don’t currently have an ending time because we’re not sure how long this will go. If people are still around and willing to chat with us at 5pm (8pm east coast, 1am UK time), we’ll stick with it. If it’s 8pm and we’re still at it, fine!  If not, we’ll close shop, take some Advil, and sleep it off!

Hope you can join us, even if you’re just gonna pop in and out at your leisure!  #DDAD17

Cheers!!

-R

Banning Superfans and other misnomers

Amanda and I have been studying fandom for about ten years now. I think we each try to stay current with publications and research, but every now and then something will come out that takes us by surprise. This weekend, an article was published in the Daily Mail (maybe not the hardest hitting newspaper out there) that made me stop and think about superfans. I shared it across social media, hoping to generate some careful thought and response.

The article is about a fan named Heather Vaughn, who considers herself to be a Bay City Rollers Superfan.  By her own estimate,  she has attended over 4000 BCR concerts and has been a fan for over 40 years. Unfortunately, since April, she has been asked to leave gigs and has been banned. She claims not to know why, although the article discusses a specific situation where Mr. McKeown was checking into a hotel, saw Heather out front and took a photo of her on his phone.  You can read the article here (in fact I really think everyone should).

Just in case you’ve never heard of them, the Bay City Rollers were a 1970’s Scottish pop group that happened to have quite a huge female following. They split in 1978, but the lead singer (after taking time to recover from drugs, etc) continues to tour under the name “Les McKeown’s Bay City Rollers”, and – this may surprise some of you given some of the “Who the heck are they?” responses I saw yesterday – they still have quite a strong following. These are people who go to every show, who have been fans from nearly the beginning. There have been many books and articles written about their fans, and there are definitely parallels to be found between that fan community and our own.

While the article interested me, I was even more curious about some of the responses I read, specifically from Duran Duran fans who had posted the article for their friends to read.  The responses went one of two ways:

  1. People felt there must be more to the story than this woman simply being seen at the same hotel that Les McKeown was checking into.
  2. People were appalled that the band was not thrilled that they had such a loyal superfan.

After reading those types of responses from several people who had commented, I decided I would post the article to the community-at-large over social media and monitor the reactions. I wasn’t really sure what people might say, but I was fairly convinced Duran fans would have SOME sort of opinion!  I was not wrong.

Overall, the same two original types of responses I read seemed to be the norm throughout the community. Although stated in a myriad of ways, directionally they were the same. Either fans were convinced there was more to the story than what was being shared, or they were firmly supportive of superfans.  There was also some discussion defining obsessive behavior and “crazy fans”, but ultimately – it comes down to whether or not you support the superfan, or you believe something happened where the band is “just” in their decision to ban said fan.

This seems to always boil down to the same discussion of what is acceptable fan behavior. And, as I could have predicted—everyone has a different opinion about that. It’s not an easy conversation.

I chatted with some people who felt that if you go to “too many shows”, it starts to look odd to the band. If you wave to band members, maybe that’s too “familiar”.  If they begin to recognize you,  that’s too much. If you talk to the band online as though you would anyone else, and expect them to answer, that’s bizarre.

I started looking hard at my own past “fan” behavior after I got offline. Unlike Heather Vaughn, I’ve never been called up on stage, or had photographs taken of myself doing housework for one of the band members. (Don’t even think about it. I love the band…but not that much!!) I have, however, traveled great distances to see them. I’ve been in hotel bars and restaurants at the same time as they’ve been. I’ve stayed at the same hotel before. I’ve gone to show after show, and yeah, I’m pretty sure that at least Simon recognizes me at this point, and likely Nick too.  What makes me any different from Mrs. Vaughn, other than the amount I’ve done?

The thing is, we don’t know why Heather Vaughn was banned. Chances are, there’s more to the story than what was reported, on both sides. What really concerns me is the idea that some Duran Duran fans think that no matter what she’s done, it’s OK because it was done in the name of being a loyal fan.  What exactly does “loyal” mean, anyway?  How do any of us know that she didn’t try to break into a room, or make threats, or continually show up to private events completely unannounced—purely because she thought that she was so much of a great fan that she belonged?  We don’t, but think about it the possibility. She’d gone to over 4000 shows. The band clearly knew who she was. She felt familiar, both in being a fan, as well as thinking they knew her.  I would imagine it is very easy to believe you’re more than just another fan in that case. It can be intoxicating to be validated by a celebrity, and after decades of just that, you start to believe you belong. That’s the risk.

It is those types of things, where you’re showing up to things a fan shouldn’t be, and getting into places you were not invited, that get a fan banned. Fans do not get banned because they happen to be in a hotel lobby, or because they’ve been to one too many shows in a stretch. Fans aren’t told to go away because they asked for a photo, and I’ve seen some really forceful asking! Restraining orders are for people who don’t know enough to back the heck off.  Blocking and banning are used for those who don’t realize what “private time” or “personal space” means, and have to be continually told, most of the time at the peril of the band member or others that work for the band.  Fans are banned because they ignore that a band member is actually a human being with a real life, or because they threaten a band member and/or their family.  Bands and artists don’t want to have to block fans from events. That’s not their goal, so when they do it, it is as a last resort, when nothing else has worked.  Assuming that this person is the victim is likely the wrong way to go here, and I really hope people who see it that way think twice. Or even three times.

Superfans aren’t the problem. Loyalty isn’t the issue at all.

If nothing else, the article gave me food for thought. I hope it did the same for you.

-R

 

Reportage: The Fabled, Fanciful Golden Ticket

Yesterday I wrote about a rumor involving a new Duran Duran album. Apparently, if we are all to believe the rumor, the band has been working tirelessly – fingers to their bones – to record an album entirely on their own in their “spare time”.  I put myself out there and said that based purely on my own past experience as a Duran Duran fan, I really doubted this to be true. That opinion still holds this morning (and I appreciate that I wasn’t burnt at the stake yesterday for saying so).

A few Duranies asserted, probably with a fair amount of wishful thinking thrown in for good measure, that perhaps this could be Reportage.  I have some thoughts on that.

First of all, the existence of Reportage has turned into this fabled, prized, collection of work that has taken on the enigma of being The Golden Ticket.  I myself have spoken to a fan or two that somehow has either heard the album, or that claim to have a copy. One person said, “anyone who is anyone in the fan community has heard it. The music is floating around.”  Well, I haven’t heard it. Not a single note. That means I’m not anyone, I guess. Not really a surprise there, either. I love it when people tell me they’ve heard it, because they have this air about them. You know what I mean.  The whole “Yes, I know I’m on the inside and you’re just a lowly REGULAR fan.” Even if they don’t mean to sound that way….they absolutely do.  And they secretly love it, because they have The Golden Ticket, while you and I do not.

Let’s face it, had I ever heard it – I’m sure I’d come off that way too. But I haven’t. At this point, I’m really starting to wonder why anyone cares. Do any of us really know how many songs and material, have never made it onto an album over the course of their career?  Reportage is probably just a group of 9-12 more songs that never quite made it. Sure, some of you are probably saying, “Yeah, but these might be outstanding!” Yes. That’s true. But Duran Duran probably has quite the archive of songs that had the potential to be outstanding. After all, this is the group that wrote “Rio”, and “Paper Gods”, and/or “Danceophobia”.

Ok, “Danceophobia” aside… (sorry “Danceophobia” fans. I just can’t.)

The point is, while I know Reportage has become this Holy Grail type of thing for the fan community, it is possible we might be putting way too much stock into something that we know next to nothing about.  Sure, we were teased about it for way too long to have never heard it ourselves. Yes, we know Sony turned it down. I have heard there were legal issues. But do those things all add up to it being the golden album to end all golden albums?  I’m just not so sure. And if one more person tells me that they’ve heard it with that knowing look on their face…

Well, I’m just gonna need a vodka tonic in order to deal. And it’s only 10:30 am my time. Oh, and yeah, I’m still nearly 100% sure that they’re not going to be releasing any album next month, Reportage or otherwise. Until someone from DDHQ says otherwise, and I’ve been properly revived from falling on the floor in a dead faint, I’m sticking with it.

But hey, if anyone wants me to hear Reportage, by all means my inbox is open and ready.

-R

 

 

 

Think Yourself Lucky: Some thoughts on this tour

I’ve been thinking about the Paper Gods tour, or at least the shows that I attended. I have fantastic memories from the past few years, that is for sure. There really isn’t anything like seeing Duran Duran on stage, and being able to go to these shows with my best friend, knowing that however insane I seem – she usually gets it – makes it all the better.

I am pretty lucky that I was able to see Duran Duran play at the Hollywood Bowl, for example. Although I’m not a huge fan of the venue for rock concerts (the crowds are ridiculous and it takes a special sort of patience to handle the parking and traffic issues), seeing Duran Duran there was a dream. To begin with, it was the first show of the tour (for me), not counting Jimmy Kimmel the evening before.  Our seats were amazing – we splurged for second row center tickets, and I just remember how excited I was to be there. We had our friend from Canada with us, and the memories of giggling in the car after the show as I drove over the Grapevine will never leave me.  Amanda read me texts from another friend of ours who had gotten into to the after party with the band, and I was over the moon about the scene she described, wishing I had been there. I still can’t believe I drove all the way from my house, up to Berkeley, then back again, the very next day.

Amanda and I saw a lot of shows this time around. We’ve never done this many before, and I don’t regret a single one.  My bank account does, but that’s alright. You only live once, and I didn’t want to waste the opportunity. I did turn down a few shows—Amanda went without me to DC over New Years, for example—and while sure I wish I could have been there, I also wasn’t ready for the chaos and anger that would have caused here at home. It’s a tradeoff, and not an easy one at that.

When I start thinking about all of the miles and driving and travel—it begins to blow my mind just a little. I’ve gotten to see some parts of this country I’d never seen before, and I even got to go to Canada! I’ve also met a lot of new people, made new friends, and perhaps even made a new pal out of someone I’ve known for a very long time.

I toasted with Simon, saw Nick laugh at me more times than I care admit (I CAN’T HELP ROLLING MY EYES AT HUNGRY LIKE THE WOLF – I AM SORRY BUT I TRY MY BEST TO BEHAVE!!), ducked from Simon-spit 16 times (we’re still winning that war, Simon!!), and exchanged smiles with other band members countless times. I can’t even count the amount of moments I would look at Amanda and we’d share a huge grin, because we were in exactly the kind of “heaven” we love most.  She and I made fun of this band at every single opportunity, laughed at ourselves so much our sides hurt, and fell more in “love” with each one of them every single day. Yeah, they’re band members. Celebrities. People. Just like us. We adore them even when we’re calling them dorks. Our readers don’t always understand that, and some really get on us about teasing them – but Amanda and I don’t feel as though we have to apologize to them for our antics. Something tells me that they not only get it, they really kind of like it! Rock on!

No, they probably don’t know me, but they made this tour worth every last mile I traveled, and a lot of the turmoil that went along with my absence from home. I don’t regret a single moment…well, maybe aside from the moments when we should have zigged instead of zagged. (If you don’t know what I mean by that, you’ll need to re-watch last Monday’s video blog)

Then there’s the way I ended this tour – with a show in San Francisco. It was GA, we were pretty far back, and yet I can honestly say I had a great time. I’d forgotten just how much better the sound can be when you’re back away from the stage, and the crowd energy was infectious. The thing is, of course we wanted to be up closer to the front. Yeah, I’m not afraid to say that I wanted to rock out with Dom one last time. But, we made the best of where we were, stayed present in the moment and danced like crazy. Some ridiculous part of me thinks that he still saw me out there, having a great time. And I did. The one thing I can tell you I thought about that night over and over again, was that I was so lucky to be there.

There I was, standing with my best friend, smiling so hard my cheeks hurt, watching the band we adore do their thing. About 30 seconds into the show, it stopped mattering where we were standing, or that there was a really rude, and very tall kid and his also-tall girlfriend standing directly in front of me, positioned so that there was no way I could see past them at all (he was rude for other reasons, not because he was in front of me).  I was just happy to be there one last night. I don’t know if I’ll always be able to be there, and if nothing else – the past couple of months has taught me that there really are NO guarantees in life. You get whatever you get. I would peek in between the sea of arms and camera phones to catch glimpses of Dom, Simon and John, and I just danced.  Pure bliss. And yeah, I’m pretty sure that by the end of the show, I got a wink or two from Dom. I can’t imagine he really saw me, but I smiled in return. We waved to Simon, Nick, John and Roger, and refused to acknowledge that for us, the tour had ended.

These are my favorite people, and I regret nothing. My two girls are performers. Heather is a dancer/choreographer, and my youngest is a singer and piano player, although she’s only nine so who knows what she’ll really do when she’s grown. I always tell each of them the same thing when they’re about to perform, and that’s to leave it ALL out on the stage. Don’t hold back. It’s the only advice I know to give. The only reason I know to give it is because I wouldn’t want them to live life the way I did for so long before I started doing all of this. I only half-lived, and it wasn’t enough. So this tour, I did the shows I wanted to do, and I LIVED. I left it all out there, no regrets, heart on the sleeve, and all of that. Nobody should wonder how I feel about this band, and particularly about the people within—whether or not they’re members, or supporting players.

Those memories are gonna have to last me until I-have-no-idea-when, so I’ll take them.  I am lucky.

-R

Day One on the hills in San Francisco!

Daily Duranie is together and in San Francisco!  If you were on Twitter last night, you already know that we arrived yesterday, and even ventured out in search of food (and drinks!).  We called it an early night because my counterpart had already been up for the better part of 24 hours, and she’s still sleeping as I type!  The funniest thing to happen thus far was when we wandered around the floor of our hotel, in jammies, searching for the ice machine. It was quite a scene as we prayed to the Duranie gods that no one open their door to find us sneaking down the hallway. We walked the entire way around our floor, realized there was no machine, and then discovered we had to go down a floor for it, on the elevator! Thankfully nobody saw us, but they may have heard us laughing hysterically in the elevator on the way back up to our room!

Originally we were going to only drive part of the way yesterday, but the more I drove, the more I realized that by the time I really got tired, we’d almost be here anyway. So, we added a day and got here around 8 last night. Not terrible, and the drive was easy (although driving up the very steep hill to our hotel is another story and not for the faint of heart).  It’s nice to have the extra time to explore, something we rarely get when we’re traveling between shows.

One thing I’d forgotten about San Francisco—or blocked from my memory (I don’t get up here very often)—were the hills. Like, the entire city is built on hills, and I don’t mean just a little hill, but these incredibly steep hills. Driving on them is not fun. Walking UP them is something akin to torture. I was ready to lay down and call it after about 50 feet up the first one during our walk back to the hotel last night, but we made it.  Barely.  I will take pictures and tweet them from the Daily Duranie account today. I should have just taken video of me trying to walk. Far, FAR funnier.

Today, I think we’re doing the tourist thing! Amanda has never been here, and I’ve been several times—but not enough to really know the city. We’ve had a few things mentioned: Alcatraz, Museum of Modern Art (definitely want to do that), Golden Gate Bridge (Amanda won’t step foot on it but I’m sure she’ll at least take a photo from a distance!), and there’s some sort of hop on/hop off city tour that might be fun.  We’re pretty much open to anything, just as soon as I can get her to wake up.  I also hear that there are wine tasting rooms near Ghirardelli Square, so I’ll be getting us over there at some point before we leave.  She’s burrowed under covers in her bed (understandable given her marathon day of traveling yesterday) and I’m up and ready to go like it’s Christmas morning. I’m a light sleeper on any given day, and with the city noise outside—I’m up!

Our roommates come in later today and then the real party begins! We’re on several forms of social media, but I think Amanda and I settled on using Twitter and Snapchat for this trip (although I’ll throw things up on Facebook and Instagram too – it just might be a bit later). Amanda is going to handle Snapchat and I’ll do Twitter, and maybe, just maybe, we’ll do some Facebook live and/or video blogs.  So, if you’re not already following us—you should!

-R

When you get that lonely shine in your eye

The other day, Amanda and I were on Skype. We were beginning work on a project and kicking around ideas when the topic turned to our upcoming road trip to San Francisco. We’re both really excited to have plans this summer, even if it’s only for a couple of shows. San Francisco is a city we’ve never been together while “touring”, and it will be great to see fellow Duranies, too.

That got us talking about our friends. Duranie friends, that is. We have a lot of people we know from the blog – people that we might not know well, but that have introduced themselves to us at various shows and things. We also have our core group of friends, which honestly, seems like it’s dwindled over the years. It is that group that I’ve been thinking about more recently.

When I first started out on the message boards, I stumbled upon a group of women that I became pretty attached to. Many of them were on the organizing committee for a convention that I was a part of, and a few others were involved on the board. (Amanda is one of those people, actually!)  They were what I like to call, my people. (We also called ourselves the Gutter Gals at one time, back about thirteen years ago!) I remember feeling like I needed to study up on Duran Duran because these women knew Duran Duran’s history like nobody’s business. I knew only what I’d read. These women had been to shows. Many of them. I think I’d been to about six at the time, and one of them was a festival. I knew next to nothing compared to most of them.

One of them had organized more than one convention, and seemed to know everyone, everywhere. When I looked at her (virtually, of course) and then looked at myself, I felt like I had absolutely nothing in common with her. She seemed hard-edged, and there I was—Miss OC Soccer Mom—trying my best to fit in. Another one was easily likable. She was popular on the boards, friendly to all, and everyone thought she was cool.  She could use humor to diffuse almost any situation, a tool she still uses to this day. I witnessed women tripping over themselves to befriend this person, and when she and I hit it off – calling one another the “other half of our brain”, I thought I’d made a friend for life. Yet, I was really nothing like her, either.  She was young, independent, single, a partier—and everyone loved her.  Still others were quieter, but they knew their Duran-stuff. They had history following the band, whereas I had spent the majority of my life prior on the outside looking in.

As many know, this group of women embraced me, for reasons I still don’t really quite understand. I never felt like I measured up. I don’t have tattoos or a number of piercings. I don’t know the band, haven’t had any body part signed by them, nor have I jumped the stage and been carried off by Dave. I look ridiculous in Doc Marten’s, and I look stupid with burgundy colored hair. The hardest-edged thing about me are probably the toe rings I wear in the summer – and yes, that’s a joke (although the toe rings are not). Rocker-girl or goth enthusiast, I am not. I’m more apt to wear pink than black on any given day. Oh, how I’ve wished I could be one of those women who can pull off black hair, black leather, etc. I’m just the opposite. I’m more like bubble gum, really. I suppose in many ways, it’s why I started this blog. I wanted to prove to myself that I could be like those women in one way or another. For once, I wanted to be on the inside and actually do something. But, as time has gone on, I’ve noticed that most of that original group of women are no longer around.

I probably can’t really call them close friends, anymore. It’s not that I don’t love them, or care about them, but they’ve moved on, and I really haven’t. The most I see or hear from them is on Facebook. They’ve got careers, lives, marriages, and they’ve kind of dropped Duran Duran along the way. I don’t know if the band got “old” (I don’t mean in age), or if they got tired of it all, or if the trend changed—and me being me—I missed my cue to leave and instead, I got more involved. Many of them complain about the band in one way or another, and yet I embrace them tighter. Maybe it’s me, really. (It is probably me.)

I haven’t seen many of them in years, now that I think about it. I don’t travel alone (meaning without the family) much unless it’s for Duran Duran. Then again, I can’t afford to fly these days anyway, so unless the band plays on the west coast (thankfully they are this summer) and I can drive there, I’m sort of stuck. The good news is I’m just about halfway through the whole “paying for two kids in college” thing, so I’m hoping it will get better from here. Point being, I don’t get out much, so I don’t see them often, if at all. Maybe that’s it. Or maybe it’s just that people drift apart, and we weren’t all meant to be friends forever.

The one thing I know for sure, is that without those women, I wouldn’t be writing. The only reason I ever started writing was because I missed being able to tear through album, song, video and show minutia. I loved talking about all of that “little” stuff. I liked examining the human condition and how news would affect the fan community as a group. I used to do that on the message boards, until there stopped being message boards. So, without those women, I don’t think I would have started this blog, and I don’t think I would have gone to the last thirty shows or so. I still love this band, for some crazy reason. I have a blast when I go to the shows. I have spoken to a few from that original group over the years, and the subject of meeting the band always comes up. They don’t understand why we continue to put in so much effort to be completely ignored by Duran Duran.

First of all, I haven’t been totally ignored, and Daily Duranie hasn’t been ignored. At least for me, it really has been about the expectations I had swirling in the back of my head from day one. This was never about being accepted by the band. I wanted to be accepted by my peers. There have been times when I’ve let the idea of acceptance by the band cloud my judgment, and the outcome has not been good. This is not about them. It’s about me. I wanted to prove I was more than just a housewife. More than just some nerdy kid than never quite grew up. More than solely a mom. I desperately wanted people to like me.

The irony that I have weeks like this, where I openly muse about friends I’ve lost along the way, isn’t lost on me. Speaking out has come to mean standing alone, sometimes. Even so, the nostalgia for that close group of friends I once had, and the journey I’ve been on since, is a little bittersweet.

I’m excited for my upcoming trip, and if you see Amanda and I at a table or at the bar—come say hello. We’d love to make a new friend or two along the way!

-R

A Special Tribute to Ann Le Bon

Some blogs are difficult to compose. Not because I don’t know what to write, or because I can’t think of what to say. Instead, they’re hard because I don’t know how to properly put something into words without sounding too familiar, or on the other hand, too much like a journalist. I’m neither, so….I’m going to try my best.

At some point this morning, DDHQ sent out a note from Simon letting fans know that Ann Le Bon, Simon’s mom, passed away in the night of the 19th of June.  The full note reads (copied and pasted from Duran Duran’s Facebook) as follows:

“Ann Marie Le Bon died willingly & peacefully in the night of June the 19th. She’s the person I’ve known the longest in my life.  We are all very sad.  But she has left us with overwhelming love, which she planted as seed in all of our hearts.”  

I did not ever have the good fortune to meet Ann in person, at least not that I am aware of. I don’t believe Amanda had either. Many of our readers have met her, some even having tea with her at one point or many over the years, and still others found themselves a pen pal in Ann.

As for Amanda and myself, well, we found a reader. Ann read our blog, at least often enough to decide to follow our page on Facebook. Both of us were dumbfounded—truly, we were speechless—the day that we received notification that she’d followed us. I won’t lie, at first I think both Amanda and I felt it might be a fake account, but after really looking at it, we were convinced it really was Simon’s mom, and yes, we were really pleased she thought enough of the blog to follow. Sometimes, not often but a few times over the years, she would post an encouraging comment to the page as well. I am sure she never knew how much we appreciated those, but as I move forward from this point, I’ll never forget her kindness. I’m sure many will point out that our blog was not the only fan page she followed, and that is exactly my point. She cared about the fans.

Ann was unique in that aspect, as Amanda and I have come to find over the years. She wasn’t afraid to open her heart (and home) to fans. Often times, all I need do is make mention that I write a fan blog to someone I’ve just met, whether they work in the industry or not, and I will get the side-eyed looks and stares that tell me I’ve already been labeled a freak. Family members of those in the industry tend to shield themselves from fans, much of the time—and granted—some of that (if not much of that) is out of necessity, but Ann did not operate that way. She loved us, cared about us, and to my knowledge, never mentioned that we fans were strange or odd because our fandom followed us through adulthood. I think she sensed how much we all cared about her son, which in some respects was the common bridge we shared.

As someone who has lost a parent, this is not a club anyone looks forward to joining. I think we all are cognizant on some level that our parents will not be with us on this planet forever, but however long we have them never seems quite long enough. As I said before, I didn’t know Ann personally, but it wasn’t difficult to see how much Simon adores his mum.

Grief is a weird thing. At first (at least for me, and everyone is different), the memories were almost painful. The last thing I wanted was to feel that sting and emptiness that thinking of my dad left me. As time has gone on though, I appreciate the fond memories I have of my dad. They give me comfort when I need, and sometimes—particularly when I am doing something I know he would “bust me” for doing—I can hear his voice booming in my head with a resounding, “Rhonda Lynn!!”

It makes me smile.

I hope the same for Simon and his family. My heart goes out to his entire family.

-R